Monsters of Television

“Television would lead me to believe that Miami is the worst place in the entire world.”

And television wouldn’t lie to us, would it? This week we discuss the disappointing The Walking Dead finale (in spite of Noah Emmerich’s presence), the holiday-themed episodes we watched this past week, a little CW, a little TNT, and a lot of Dexter. So hop aboard the Polar Express, mind the pterodactyl and the Christmas Attack Zones, and let’s talk it out. Or at least let us talk it out at you.

Running Time: 75 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• The Walking Dead: 0:00:27
• Gossip Girl: 0:22:08
• Life Unexpected: 0:30:14
• Holiday Episodes
  • Community: 0:33:37
  • The Office: 0:44:03
  • Glee: 0:47:55
  • Warehouse 13: 0:52:35
• The Closer/TNT Line-Up: 0:56:32
• Dexter: 1:02:10

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

“The wings of Daedalus. Good call.”

Warehouse 13 doesn’t go out with a bang so much as it just kind of goes out. “Reset” excelled where the show usually does but failed to hit with the same “umph” that a finale should. Cool artifacts, quirky characters and entertaining banter are all present and normally what I say to sell a person on the show. Unfortunately, pay-off may not be a characteristic I include.

The HG storyline was exciting from the beginning. The “is she evil or isn’t she?” game was interesting and flirted with tediousness without ever fully committing. I was excited to see what her season long long con would produce. Alas, the journey was far better than the destination.

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“She’s a tech nerd, she’s one hundred and fifty and you’re…Myka. Not exactly relationship success stories.”

This penultimate (not including the standalone Christmas) episode had quite a bit of foreshadowing. And some less subtle hints at things to come in the finale and beyond. It also featured some universe building, character development and witty dialogue. Anyone who thinks Syfy can’t become a top notch original programming channel without the aid of Battlestar Galactica is sadly mistaken.

Was anyone else’s heart racing when Claudia was named caretaker of Warehouse 13? If not you may wanna check your pulse.

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As you’ve probably read a thousand times today in your friends’ Facebook statuses and uninspired tweets, Labor Day marks the end of summer. But that means it’s only the beginning for television. The fall season is fast approaching and, with it, a slew of new content to watch, consume, and make you feel good about life/hate the hacks that trick you into watching stuff on the picture tube. Here at Monsters of Television, we hope to help you cut through the garbage and check out the things we’re looking forward to this week.

Mad Men – “The Suitcase”

I know this aired on Sunday night but the episode is that good. If you haven’t caught it yet, set your DVRs for the re-runs this week. Then read the reviews (including ours).

Gilmore Girls

You’ve heard me mention it about a hundred times on this site, between Parenthood reviews and any opportunity I can fit it in (it’s like Lost with Matt), but it’s time you caught up. ABC Family will start the re-run cycle of Gilmore Girls this Tuesday and play the entire series in order from the beginning. Stick with it. It’s good. Swear, dude. Well, until Season 3 and then it goes bad for a while. But come back for late season 3, early season 4. I defy you to deny Lorelai Gilmore. Starting Tuesday, 5PM on ABC Family

Warehouse 13 – “Where and When”

Bridging the gap between the end of summer TV and the beginning of the fall season, Warehouse 13 continues blending historical fiction with science fiction and adding to the reasons why Syfy might actually be able to compete with network and cable original programming. Allison Scagliotti (who plays Claudia Donovan, a student of the Veronica Mars school of snark) teased via her twitter account: “Ever wonder what would happen if #Warehouse13 ate an episode of #MadMen? Tune in tonight for a blast from the past.” Tuesday, 9PM on Syfy

Hellcats – “A Word Full of Strangers”

Stars Alyson Michalka and Ashley Tisdale aren’t just trying out for the competitive cheer squad, they’re gonna have to prove to the audience that they can step up from their Disney Channel pasts. Keeping with the CW staple of very pretty pretty young people and a Top 40 soundtrack, Hellcats is hoping to help land its network at the top of the pyramid. Will it stick the landing? Wednesday, 8PM on The CW

White Collar – “Point Blank”

The summer finale looks to explore what’s inside of the music box, a lazy plot point that has meandered through this season, ranking in importance just under what happened to Kate (something Neal has only had a casual interest in this season). Interesting in the promo is Neal’s use of a gun, which, as any viewer knows, is the mark of dubious characters in the series. 98% of me says that it’s part of a con but part of me thinks it might be the act of a desperate man (plus, Alex comes back — hooray!). Tuesday, 10PM on USA

Psych – “One, Maybe Two, Ways Out”

So Psych’s summer finale probably won’t finish as strong as the season finale (or probably most of the episodes coming up on the latter half of this season) but it should be a fun romp, especially now that they’ve introduced the possibility of Shules (though odds that something important in that relationship will occur here: slim). Wednesday, 10PM on USA

Terriers – “Pilot”

The pedigree is strong with the writer of Ocean’s 11 and Shawn Ryan from The Shield. Donal Logue appears to be playing the character I wanted Jason Lee to play in Memphis Beat, a detective down on his luck, sinking to rock bottom, hustling, trying to make it all work. It looks good and has a lot of potential, even though FX is throwing a ton of marketing behind it (which, as we know from Paul Blart, Mall Cop, that means they’re not sure the show can sell itself). Wednesday, 10PM on FX

Nikita – “Pilot“

Remember when USA aired an action show about a highly trained operative with vague ties to the government? No, no, not Burn Notice. Le Femme Nikita! Yeah, it aired on USA from 1997 to 2001 (right before the network’s retooling began), and has no been remade with the ever awesome Maggie Q. No doubt some things have changed, but as long as there’s conspiracy and ass-kicking, it’ll hopefully be entertaining. Thursday 9PM on The CW

Chuck Presents – Buy Hard: The Jeff and Lester Story

While not necessarily something that’s going to air on television, the people at Chuck did the thing we hoped they would by making a webisode series based on Jeff and Lester going on the lam. (Un)fortunately, they used this opportunity to also tie in some sponsorship so the series will serve as a paid advertising for Halo: Reach. You can catch the web series all this week on the Warner Bros. page for Chuck.

“Aha! So it’s not just a guy thing.”

Pete’s planning on having a romantic, sex filled weekend with Kelly. Myka is attending her high school reunion. But a run in with an artifact (griffin bookends owned by Robert Louis Stevenson) has them switching bodies and switching lives. With the premise that Warehouse 13 has it was only a matter of time until a body switching episode showed up. The possibilities of such an episode are endlessly amusing but, while fun, “Merge with Caution” played it relatively easy.

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We’ll discuss it later.

It’s been a busy week at Monsters of Television. This whole “summer-is-just-another-season/no-rest-for-the-weary” thing the networks are doing is wearing me out. But we can’t really complain about some of the great television we’re getting. Well, mostly great television. Hopefully Melissa & Joey doesn’t create a great abyss that sucks the life out of everything we hold dear. Forget the atomic collider in Switzerland: that show might obliterate the universe on its own, unraveling the fabric of time and space with ill-timed canned laughter and overacting that would make the cast of SNL blush.

Sorry. I digress.

We have some really great reviews for you to take a look at this week, from Mad Men to True Blood to Sherlock to, gods help us, that aforementioned pit of despair. If you missed any, it’s new to you!

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“Oh, has the definition of killer changed a bunch since the 1890s cause, H.G., you killed a guy!”

Finally! Claudia is now an agent! Well…apprentice as everyone keeps reminding her. So on her first mission she’s going to do her best to live up to the job title. It’s important to her. Being an agent is important to everyone. “For the Team” gave us a look at what being an agent means to everyone. Including H.G Wells.

What’s that? Start with Claudia? Don’t mind if I do.

It’s no secret that Claudia’s been dying to be more than just a desk jockey (although a mighty fine desk jockey she makes) and she’s finally given her chance. With Pete still forbidden from field duty after the events of last week’s “Around the Bend” (mind control and hallucinations are a bitch), Claudia accompanies Myka on a mission to a college where members of the wrestling time are lighting up. Not marijuana mind you, they are spontaneously combusting.

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“I know what texting is. Also iTunes and color television.”

A very relevant Twitter conversation took place between Nick, Noel and myself yesterday on the troubles of fandom and criticism. Analyzing a popular text as anything but godly is often met with harsh opposition from said text’s fan community. That makes this review of last night’s Warehouse 13 somewhat difficult for me. I love Warehouse 13, it’s probably my favorite new addition to my television roster as of late, but “Age Before Beauty” has some points that should be addressed. And they’re not pretty.

“Age Before Beauty” is a very Myka and Claudia (hooray!) centric episode. While Myka and Pete track down an artifact that is sapping the youth from fashion models, Claudia prepares for her date with Todd, the hardware store kid from last week’s “Beyond Our Control”. This episode was poised to be a great girl-power sort of story but that is not what unfurled. Instead we get a (what I will deem as accidentally) misogynistic view of our lead female characters running to their male counter parts with their problems and insecurities. I sure hope no one from the Syfy message boards is reading this…

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“In this line of work, there’s no such thing as ‘no such thing.’“

Warehouse 13 was, to me anyway, the linchpin program in the Sci-Fi Channel’s transition to Syfy. It’s perceived nerd appeal isn’t terribly high since it’s more about historical nerdery than it is about sci-fi nerdery, something probably more palatable to general audiences (yes, I’m suggesting a cable channel is aiming for a general audience, this is nothing new).

And Warehouse 13 continues this approachable and fun tone with its second season premiere, picking up right where it left off in the finale last year, but the series is entirely jumpable into, so if you haven’t seen the first season, you’ll be okay starting with this episode. Read more »