Monsters of Television

“I bet that was the first time Human Target has ever trended on Twitter … those seven people were really upset about it.”

Where’s podcast 13, you ask? Well, think of it like how buildings don’t have thirteenth floors because it’s bad luck. That should distract you from the real reason: Nick got lazy and didn’t cut the last recording. When the Monsters of Television album drops, I’ll make Podcast 13 (and all the others resigned to a similar fate) the secret track for you.

Another secret track on that album? Some of the stuff that was left on the cutting room floor for this podcast. So much to talk about and so little time to do it in. FOX hacked its schedule to shreds this week, canceling just about everything, even putting House on notice for a final season. We stare down the barrel of the upfronts and tell you about what we’ll miss, what we’re looking forward to, and what we’re already cringing about. We also talk a lot of television from the past week, mostly the usual suspects. So go ahead and indulge yourself with this week’s podcast. Learn something. And try to forget about ol’ scary number thirteen.

Running time: 72 minutes

• FOX Bloodbath
  • Chicago Code: 0:00:22
  • Breaking In:0:04:33
• Chuck: 0:10:02
• Wonder Woman: 0:11:42
• Charlie’s Angels: 0:12:58
• FOX Bloodbath – Sepinwall Post: 0:15:24
• NBC PIckups: 0:17:32
• Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea: 0:18:19
• Ashton Kutcher and Two and a Half Men: 0:19:15
• S#*! My Dad Says Cancelled: 0:22:10
• ABC Pickups: 0:22:28
• Damon Wayans, Jr and Happy Endings: 0:26:11
• CW Renewals: 0:27:49
• Smallville: 0:28:15
• Ringer: 0:31:06
• Gossip Girl: 0:33:25
• Game of Thrones: 0:40:20
• The Office: 0:53:40
• Community: 0:55:41
• This Week’s Finales: 1:08:10

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“I’ll always be there to stop you. Always.”
“Oh I’m counting on it.”

Darkseid’s forces are growing larger and stronger. Old enemies resurface as this new enemy literally hurls Clark’s greatest challenge at him. Everyone has their part to play in stopping this threat and helping Clark become the Man of Steel.

Finales often show us a lot of where we came from before a show takes that final bow. For Smallville that look back was not only cathartic for the audience, but essential for Clark to realize his destiny. He had to realize that moving forward did not mean forgetting his past. He is a culmination of all the experiences he has had and the people he has met. He is a personification if his journey, a journey that we have had the privilege of joining him on for the past decade.

To really understand Smallville, not only in its finale but as a whole, we must do as Clark had to: look at those important to him and the experiences he has had, the hardships he has endured and the trials he has faced that have shaped him into the man he is now and the hero he would become.

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“I’m Booster Gold. The greatest hero you’ve never heard of. TIL NOW!”

Finally! I had been waiting for this episode for months. Months I tell you. Smallville has introduced a lot of DC heroes into its mythology, some more successfully than others, and the additions of Booster Gold and Blue Beetle were highly anticipated.

“But Matt, this final season is about Clark realizing his potential and becoming that great iconic hero. Introducing other heroes this late in the game is taking away from that focus.” I have a few things to say to that, concerned viewer. The first is: shut up. The second is: yes this is the final season so the show is going to go all out and do as much cool stuff as they can before the final bow. And finally: Booster and Blue Beetle have SO MUCH TO DO WITH CLARK’S PERSONAL GROWTH AS A HERO.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

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“It’s not the place that makes the home.”

Smallville has been quite nostalgic lately. Last week they re-aired the 2001 pilot episode. This week both Clark and the audience were treated to reminders of the past. “Kent” was an episode about moving forward, remembering the past to influence the future. This final season has done a lot of looking back. Brainiac 5 gave us some looks back (and forward) and things that are going to help shape Clark as he continues his transformation into the iconic superhero we already know he will become. The past is important. You don’t have to be defined by it, it can be a weapon when wielded correctly. Now that Clark knows he doesn’t have to let go of it, that it keeps living on inside of him, he can use that power. And boy is it going to come in handy.

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“Alright Alice, where’s the rabbit hole outta here?”

About time this show came back. We were left with quite the cliffhanger when last we saw our fledgling heroes, mysteriously rendered unconscious at the funeral of Hawkman after his epic battle with Slade. In it’s return (albeit a week later than originally stated) Smallville gave us an episode about trust. And about TRON and The Matrix. Got your attention?

Turns out the VRA was waiting at Carter’s tomb, ready to ambush the heroes. They held them prisoner hooked up to some central computer that was projecting a virtual world. Essentially they had locked them in the Grid. But no worries, Chloe returns! — and this time she’s the one coming to the rescue.

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“What happened to Chloe?”

Nick listens up as Matt talks about Smallville, how it’s operating its last season, some hunches on surprises in store, and the fates of those so important to its teen drama days. Nick feels it’s like Passions except more legitimate. He doesn’t use those exact words though in case Matt has laser beam eyes or blue kryptonite lying about.

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“What was that accent?”

And just barely slipping in before the witching hour on Halloween (on the West Coast anyway) are some thoughts on this week’s Halloween episodes. Some of the things we reference:

• Evel Knievel is has, in fact, passed.
• Matt is not the only one lazy enough to be three-hole punched.
• Sofia Vergara might have been influenced by some mid-90s television.
• Maybe the writers on Chuck still live in fear of the Chuckpocalypse.
• Smallville does love them some horror episodes.

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“This is your lucky day kid. The big break most people only dream about. You get to write a story with Perry White.”

Smallville decided to get all philosophical on us this episode and talk a lot about purpose. We all know the Clark’s purpose is to protect the Earth, one day (although we’ll never see it on the show) as Superman. But what of our other characters? What drives them? What gives their lives meaning? “Hostage” broke down and had Lois, Chloe, and a few guest surprises reflecting on their lives and looking for direction.

Lois Lane is more than just the love of Clark Kent’s life. She is a strong, witty, inquisitive, award-winning journalist. Or at least she will be. Right now she’s unemployed and trying to figure her life out. She believes the only way to do this is to find her own way. No Clark. No Blur. So when Perry White comes back into town (last seen in “Perry”) Lois jumps at the chance to help him with his latest scoop. Perry’s hunting down Checkmate and the Red Queen. The chemistry between Durance and McKean is amazing. I definitely want to see more of this duo in the future. The two catch a glimpse of the Red Queen and track her down. During a chase Perry slips and finds himself hanging from a dangling fire escape. “Great Caesar’s ghost!” he exclaims, music to any Perry White fans ears. Lois helps Perry up and even though the Red Queen escapes, she counts it as a victory. Perry wants Lois to accompany him to Nairobi on another Checkmate lead but she says she’s fine now. She just needed to find the hero in herself, to see that she could do good on her own. Read more »

“Krypton will rise again. And all humankind will kneel before Zod.”

Season 9 has been one very long crawl to an endgame that we all know is coming. Chloe, Oliver, the audience. Everyone knows Zod is evil and that Clark is gonna have to man up and kick his ass. As lines become drawn and the endgame creeps nearer, Superman-to-be may finally be catching up to everyone else. And he’s the one with the super speed.

This episode took a very “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” approach to relationship forging between the characters. Old rivals and foes having to sacrifice their pride and set aside their differences for a grater goal. We saw Chloe and Tess working together to break out of a lock-down at Watchtower and escape the clutches of Checkmate’s White Knight.What began as a Tess Mercer attempt at data thievery turned into a very sexy remake of Panic Room. While the two ladies had to team up to break out as Checkmate bared down on them, that didn’t stop them from tossing the usual witty quips at one another. Chloe won for the night: “I knew you were the Kandorians lapdog but I didn’t know you were Zod’s little bitch too.” But at the end of the day, an uneasy alliance between the two was formed. How long will that last? Read more »