Monsters of Television

“What makes you think you can ever be normal?”

Said the man calling himself Bug.

My reviewing of this show fell off near the end of Season 1 out of a combination of interest in other shows and disinterest in what happened to this one. But, after watching all the episodes I missed today (five of them) and then the season premiere, I can honestly say the show improved at the end of last season. It’s not great but it found its place and, finally, I can see what others can see in this show. I’m just not sure the season premiere helped it at all.

For those of you who fell off the show like I did, let me help you get up to speed. What forced the show to improve was a dismantling of what established the beginning of the show. The formula was a plot set-up around Lux being a teenager while Cate and Baze flailed around like children, inevitably learning some lesson Lux probably should have learned. The series took the sit-com trope of the kids teaching the parents about themselves to another level where the child actively and knowingly imparted knowledge to her sophomoric wards. Lux does this at the tender age of 16 after a lifetime of foster care and, as she briefly mentions, some pretty hefty emotional trauma. Not unrealistic that she would have some sage knowledge after a hard-knock life but you had to wonder, “How could a judge so blindly attribute this small wonder to these insane overaged children?”

As the season wore on, Cate and Baze started to settle better into parental roles (making the ridiculous antics from earlier on look like growing pains in hindsight) and, after the Well-Adjusted Foster Child Trust crumbled into a far-flung group of “just teenagers,” the show revealed Lux to be just as messed up as she probably should be. She’s a bright girl and extra resilient but she also has a lot of baggage and a host of mommy and abandonment issues. The last three episodes of the season really explored these characters (especially Cate and Lux) in a way that made you care about them. Baze’s development was also around but was far more hackneyed. Although, what else do you need to know other than he’s a man-child trying not to be a man-child but constantly put in his place as being, you know, a man-child.

So we finally had some development which led to strong emotional connections which led to stronger stories. The almost-The-Graduate scene at the end of Season 1, where Baze has just as much of an idea of what to do after he breaks up the wedding as Dustin Hoffman did, demonstrated an impressive amount of strength for this show by making Baze bust in late but giving Cate the opportunity to decide between the two men — and choosing Ryan right there. It’s still stuck in that late-90s WB genre (if that can even be a genre) and still leans on old standards to invent cabin scenarios (where characters are all stuck together in a closed-off area and are, therefore, forced to air their grievances or confess their inner desires) but it’s building.

So Season 2 started. And I’m not sure I very much liked how they’re moving things around.

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“Cinderella did not Google Prince Charming.”

Oh la la. What a comeback.

Following the amazing finale of season 3, Gossip Girl managed to keep the momentum over the course of its summer hiatus. A lot has changed over the summer but in a way a lot has stayed the same. Old problems and relationships have come back with some very new and delicious complications.

After all they’ve been through you would think Blair and Serena would actually be best friends instead of that terrible overused term I refuse to say. The jealousy and the fighting and the cattiness should have disappeared. It did for a while. But did you really think that a summer in Paris would be drama free for these two?

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Let's be honest--here's the star of "Vampire Diaries".

Warning: there will be spoilers in this review, but only after the jump.

Non-spoilerly assessment: The Vampire Diaries came out kicking tonight. To be super masculinist (and I’m a girl and a feminist, so I hate to be masculinist, but if the phrase fits…), the characters all grew balls. If this is what a world with Katherine is like, then I never want her to leave.

Few more non-spoilery words: Stefan? Stopped moping. Damon? Heartbreaking. Bonnie? Working hard to come out of Willow’s very large shadow. Jeremy? Maybe is about to stop whining. Well, you can’t win them all. I may even start to care about Tyler’s storyline—who knew?

Vampire Diaries, how do I love thee…let me count the ways…

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“We’ve got intruders!”

A couple of weeks ago, I was dozing while watching some special on History about death masks, and in between my dozing and finding out that George Washington was vain, I saw promos for the The Colony, a show on Discovery Channel. Judging from the promos, it was the answer to the question many started asking after Survivor had gone through a few cycles: “Why isn’t there an urban survivor? Let’s see them try and eek out a living in a rough neighborhood.” And some producer heard that idea, liked it, and, being a producer, added, “Let’s make this rough neighborhood actually a ‘safe zone’ after something pretty apocalyptic has wiped out most of the human race!”

Thus The Colony was born.

I wasn’t aware, when I saw the promos, that the series had actually already done a season last summer (I don’t watch a lot of Discovery Channel, History, etc.), but as it’s a reality show, and only in its second season, there’s not a huge need to go and catch up on season 1 (though I can grab the last 5 if I want). Already with one episode, I kind of get the jist of what each episode will be like. Read more »

“Oh, good. I got you while you’re vulnerable.”

I don’t like to read the advance reviews of a show, not necessarily for the spoilers but because I don’t like things to skew my perspective, making me pay attention to things that are within the bias of a reviewer that gets paid to consume. That’s not to say anything bad about professional reviewers. It might end up that I become one someday for all I know. This is mostly a warning for you, the reader. I did not receive an advance copy of this episode like so many did weeks ago, as evidenced by some hub-bub over a reviewer’s responsibility with spoilers, so my thoughts on the episode might be rudimentary and not as thoughtful as those who have been able to ruminate on content of season premiere.

Did that come off spiteful? I didn’t mean for it to come off spiteful.

Although there is a lot of spite in this episode so maybe it’s rubbing off on me. With the divorce and Betty and Don sniping at each other plus everyone in the office being angry with Don for a botched PR opportunity compounded with Don getting angry with clients for being prudes, and we can even say the new agency itself is in spite of their former corporate owners, this is an episode based in spite. Even the actresses Peggy and Pete hire for a publicity stunt are spiteful toward each other.

Oh, did I mention that, with all the hype going on about and around Mad Men that I assume you don’t mind a spoiler or two if you’re reading this review? I didn’t? Oh well. You should be watching it live anyway since it probably is the best show on television never to get above a 1.0 in Male 18-49. Let that be your lesson.

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“In this line of work, there’s no such thing as ‘no such thing.’“

Warehouse 13 was, to me anyway, the linchpin program in the Sci-Fi Channel’s transition to Syfy. It’s perceived nerd appeal isn’t terribly high since it’s more about historical nerdery than it is about sci-fi nerdery, something probably more palatable to general audiences (yes, I’m suggesting a cable channel is aiming for a general audience, this is nothing new).

And Warehouse 13 continues this approachable and fun tone with its second season premiere, picking up right where it left off in the finale last year, but the series is entirely jumpable into, so if you haven’t seen the first season, you’ll be okay starting with this episode. Read more »

“Party, Bender! Party for your life!”

Returning from a long hiatus is quite the double edged sword. Fans will praise a show’s comeback and yet are often quick to doubt that it can return to any semblance of its former glory. Family Guy (as tired as it is now) was able to rise the successful phoenix from the ashes of cancellation. The Boondocks has been able to do the same for the most part after its 2 year disappearance.

Futurama was canceled in 2003, but thanks to the resuscitation machine that is Adult Swim and a number of direct to DVD movies it hardly feels like it went anywhere. Now with its return on Comedy Central with a brand new slew of episodes, can Futurama continue the trend and reclaim (and maintain) its position as one of the greatest animated shows in TV history? My answer is…

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“I say we kill him and make his underage whore watch.”

Hot In Cleveland is fascinatingly bad, but it is bad.

There's a joke in here somewhere.

As I’ve made clear, I don’t think you can chalk up all the good or all the bad to a show’s format. Sure, the show is setting up jokes and knocking them down in very old-fashioned ways, but I don’t think this is really an issue (at least for me). The set-up/punchline structure isn’t a liability since everyone is an old pro at this (except Valerie Bertinelli, who seems to be channeling Miley Cyrus in her broad approach to comedy).

No, I think the problem is in the show’s ideology. The show is clearly pushing back against the LA/NYC binary of relationships, but the show’s characters are so age-conscious, gender-conscious, and class-conscious that it just feels like the show is pandering to its target demos instead of trying to be funny and do social commentary (or reverse the order, either way I’m fine). Read more »

“I’m in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam.”

The wait is finally over! After 9 months True Blood is back and wasting no time jumping right in. The first few minutes were dedicated to “remember this character and what they were doing?” which is always an appreciated season premiere tactic. But it wasn’t just story we were being reminded of, also tone and style. “Remember how much True Blood loves violence and tits?” As if we could forget. From a group of werewolves chowing down on Vampire Bill to Eric’s 6 hour sexcapade with new Fangtasia dancer Yvetta (6 hours!?) it didn’t take long for us all to say “Why yes, I remember you, True Blood. Welcome back.” Read more »

“Always use the mike.”

I don’t really like watching stand-up specials on TV. Listen to them? Absolutely. But watching them? Yawn. It’s something about the pacing of the special (often interrupted by commercials), a 90 minute set boiled down to an hour kills the momentum. Now I remember why I stopped watching Last Comic Standing atfer Jay Mohr left. It’s boring. Really boring.

Early on, host Craig Robinson ponders why this show happened. I know why: NBC needed some really cheap summer programming, and no one is cheaper than stand-up comedians who haven’t produced oodles of cash for a network.

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