Monsters of Television

Wilson: “She no longer thinks we’re gay. Now she thinks we’re mendacious dirtbags.”
House: “Mendacious dirtbag does come much more naturally to me.”

“I’m really glad that worked on zero evidence. Otherwise, how stupid would I have looked? Pret-ty stupid.”

Drug deal in a wet, dilapidated parking garage at night. Four guys standing around the back end of an SUV with bricks of something-er-other neatly packaged in the back. I know there’s an air of privacy that needs to be maintained for these kinds of things but, one day, I’d like to see someone do a drug deal in a nice park during the day. Maybe that’s how they came up with Weeds. Anyway, roles of the four men are soon revealed: Seller, Buyer, Henchman with a Gun (for the buyer), and The Patient (technically at this point he’s Henchman without a Gun but let’s just cut the sheepdip and name him what he is to this episode). Some tough negotiating leads to Henchman with a Gun to pull his piece, demanding respect for his boss. The Patient tries to wrestle the gun away from him, and Henchman ends up shooting himself in the foot but The Patient crumples to the ground, takes a lick to the skull from the asphalt. He has no other external injuries.

The Patient and the Seller go to the clinic instead of the ER to stitch up Patient’s head wound and House picks up on clues (no trauma, gun powder on his sleeve) that he has loud-noise-induced vertigo. How he proves it: when Patient tries to walk away, House slaps his cane against the bed and the Patient goes down like a Tennessee Scare Goat. And thus we have a new case.

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