Monsters of Television

“I’m making changes.”

This is what Huddy closure should look like: House in a final dramatic gesture to Cuddy's horror. So sweet.

Let me tell you why this was a good episode of House and it’s probably not for the reasons you think.

It’s not because of the structure of the narrative. In season finales past we’ve seen so many different ways for them to break the formula, some great (season 4) and some not so great (season 6). By comparison to those episodes, this one is pretty straight-forward. Yeah, we have interviews with Cuddy and Wilson that set up the last five minutes but nothing like Amber in the bus accident. Really, if it weren’t for the extremity of those five minutes, it would probably line up with anything else this season.

That very well might have been the intention, to keep it in line with most of the rest of the season. For most of the hour, it doesn’t even feel like a season finale of any show, let alone one in the rich tradition of this particular series. It’s kind of a rope-a-dope. But again, not for the reason many people think.

It’s not what actually happens at the end that makes this episode very good. It’s what it means. And it means a lot of things: breaking through, connection, finally getting on the other side of things after walling everyone out. But, most importantly to me, it means that all that Psych 101 Wilson, the Ducklings, and Cuddy communicate through is just as much crap as I think it is. With a single action, House looks around at everyone that claims to be the foremost experts in all things Gregory and says, “Don’t pretend like you know me.” And that is why this episode is special.

But let’s stop beating around the bush.

Read more »

In case you missed it, House, MD was finally renewed after some minor squabbling and some folks taking some pay cuts. Here to discuss what that means for us, the audience, are Matt and Nick

Matt: SO. Finally. Season 8.

Nick: The only thing really surprising is how long it took to get there.
It’s not like they were going to cancel House. Even if Donal Logue was on it.

(Which, I think is in the TV rulebooks that, if Donal Logue makes an appearance, the show has to be cancelled)

Matt: So what would happen if he were to be on a show with Summer Glau?

Nick: That episode would never make it to air.

Although there would be leaked photos of Summer Glau.

Matt: Mmmm. I’m okay with this.

Nick: And if that episode was written by Tim Minnear, well, that would have to be burned.

Read more »

“You’re lucky you’re hot and smart because — well, you’re just lucky you’re hot and smart.”

I’m so glad House is back to catching up on his stories.

Donal Logue guest-starred this week. Obviously, that means House has to be cancelled. Them’s the rules.

It’s always a pleasure (for me) to see Jimmy the Cabbie pop up wherever he can. I also can see that he wants to stretch out his dramatic wings a little bit (something you could see in Terriers, too) but I was a little disappointed Logue had a part that didn’t use his sense of comic timing. Instead, his sad-sack romantic was just a mirror for House and Thirteen to observe their own wistful existentialism, particularly Thirteen since she’s taken the mantle to prove love wrong while House just busies himself with pills.

Usually I don’t like to give away the punch of a story so early in the review but, as has been the case for much of this season, the patient stories were fairly uninteresting compared to everything else that’s going on. Not only did they give House and Thirteen something to talk about but the other ducklings had something to do this week. Except Taub. I suppose with so many spotlights someone’s going to get left in the dark. And if it’s going to be someone, it’s going to be the squatty one.

But some stuff with Foreman and Chase! That’s exciting! Isn’t it?

Read more »

“Then neither of us would be exceptional.”

“Omar, if you could step forward a little bit so we can get a clear separation between the pretty people and the frumpy ducklings — thanks!”

The bad news: they did manage to take the spotlight off of what could’ve been a grand re-entry into the fold for Thirteen. The good news: they replaced it with an episode that was good enough for a slow clap.

Last week I predicted that they would flatten Thirteen with the quickness into the pastiche of the other Flat Ducklings, making her a sad shadow (a pale imitation, if I may cull the other definition of pastiche) of her strength in “The Dig.” While the fanfare over her return and the struggle Thirteen might’ve had to go through to get her medical license back would’ve been a little indulgent for House, I was hoping they’d put off the flattening for an episode so we could see Dr Hadley as an “assistant.” Sadly, we don’t have time for that nonsense.

So in the same vein that we saw stellar episodes focusing solely on Cuddy and Wilson (aptly named “Cuddy” and “Wilson”), Masters gets her very own episode as she wrestles with the end of her being a student and, possibly, stepping into House’s world on more permanent terms. So, instead of mooning all over Olivia Wilde’s return to PPTH, we get to watch a lamb lost in the Dark Wood. And we witness it all through the lamb’s beady little eyes.

Read more »

“Because I will Tritter tangent forever.”

After a brief hiatus (has it been two months already?), we have a brand new podcast. We talk about all kinds of stuff like the NBC Thursday Night lineup (natch), our varied interest in Game of Thrones, the return of Thirteen to House (and why she’s important even if people hate her character), and all veritable sundry of other items. It’s really pretty good. You should get on that. Also, notice how Nick hates it when anyone gets together on a show. Does he hate love? Is he a robot? Who are we to say? It’s half the fun. Enjoy our sing-song voices.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

“I’ll kill you when the time comes. We can do it now if you like. I think I got a baseball bat in the back.”

“Kneeing Damon Lindeloff in the pants felt really good.”

If the remaining episodes continue the way they have been since “Bombshells,” this might end up being my favorite season of House yet.

I know, I know. I’ve been bellyaching about this season all year, lamenting the impossible union that was Huddy, sniping about Thirteen’s replacement, predicting nothing but doom and destruction for our narrative sensibilities on an essentially bulletproof series. Well, unless they can’t strike a deal.

Now that Huddy is split and House has, more or less, fallen into full-on relapse, I don’t have anything to whine about. Instead, I’ve used my crying time to reflect on the season. Living through it sucked: House was distant from his diagnoses (his puzzles and reason to live) while maintaining an uncharacteristic level of patience with his girlfriend, Masters was a shade of Cameron with potential for complications that were never realized, the other ducklings became two-dimensional shadows of their former selves unless a spotlight shined on them. It was all about enough to turn me off entirely. But, on the whole, the season works in hindsight. If we forget the ridiculous way Cuddy and House got together at the end of last season, we can see Huddy for what it is: an escalation for House’s eventual valley-making crash. Thirteen would’ve been adjunct to this season since her misery would have no company as House experienced his version of bliss. The exploitation of Masters is a missed opportunity but might’ve felt forced anyway with the jaded goblins she works with turning her into one of them. Even though in the back of my mind I knew it all had to come crashing down at some point, I didn’t believe it. And now House as a mess again makes me feel like the season was almost worth going off course to sink him lower into misery than ever before.

And misery sure does love it some company.

Read more »

“It is good-time-adjacent.”

Get ready.

There are three keys to identifying a “Very Special Episode” of House.

First is the absence of “Teardrop.” Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Teardrop” is absent on many of the syndicated episodes not airing on USA. And you’re right. And you’re being technical. “Teardrop” isn’t around on those episodes because no one wants to pay Massive Attack their blood money. When it’s not in the prime-time version, you can bet it’s because the show needed a truncated opening sequence to pack in all the deliverables for this week. And maybe so they wouldn’t have to pay Massive Attack their blood money.

The second has everything to do with the teaser/cold open. While we’ve dealt with a House distracted from and almost disinterested in medicine all season (much to my chagrin), the teaser here dovetails the height of that distraction into the patient-of-the-week, foreshadowing the rest of the episode. When Cuddy comes out of the bathroom, mentioning she has blood in her urine (and that goes right into our “Teardrop”-less non-credit sequence), we identify that if we know our patient-of-the-week (and it isn’t someone that can easily be killed off in a montage set to a slow ballad, preferably Damien Rice), something’s up.

And, my friends, something is definitely up this week. And I’m almost giddy to talk about it.

Read more »

“Glee doing Michael Jackson is worse than Michael Jackson being a child molester.”

Even with not a whole lot going on (and down one partner in crime), the gentlemen discuss the week that was. I wish there was more I could say here but you really just have to listen to the podcast. I will say, though, that if you’re not caught up on How I Met Your Mother or Lost, you should probably get up to speed before listening or you might get — well, lost. Some items to help you with HIMYM references: The Gentleman, Slap Bet, A Gentlemen’s Agreement, Challenge Accepted. If you haven’t watched Lost — well, what are you doing here in the first place?

Topic: Place in the podcast

Running time: 64 minutes

• How I Met Your Mother (episode 0614): 0:01:22
• House: 0:07:38
• Chuck: 0:15:41
• Fairly Legal: 0:25:28
• CW Scheduling: 0:37:08
• The Office: 0:39:58
• 30 Rock: 0:45:32
• Parks & Recreation: 0:49:08
• The Rest of NBC Thursday: 0:50:11
• Downton Abbey: 0:52:31
• Showtime Programming: 0:52:38
• Cable news coverage of Egyptian unrest: 0:54:34

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Well, well, well. It’s an All-Monster Podcast. It’s like Rampage but better because we have four monsters tearing up your town instead of just three. These week, Karen, Matt, Nick and Noel discuss a range of topics across the television landscape including The Walking Dead, the Mad Men finale (yeah, we know it’s old news — but it’s our show), how cable has disappointed us by having the nerve to cancel shows (Rubicon, Caprica), the USA brand (popcorn/beach-reading), how Life Unexpected is gross probably because they need to keep up with the rest of the CW, and Conan’s pedestrian return, among other things. It’s an interesting hour of witness. Listen to the podcast at the bottom of this post or subscribe to the podcast feed.

Running time: 75 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• The Walking Dead: 0:00:58
• Rubicon: 0:10:23
• Mad Men: 0:16:21
• Cable as a Haven: 0:21:42
• The USA Brand: 0:25:53
• House: 0:29:52
• TV Actors: 0:35:59
• Chuck: 0:37:41
• Nikita (and other spy dramas): 0:44:51
• The CW/Life Unexpected: 0:51:41
• Parenthood defense: 1:04:25
• Conan: 1:06:21

Brief note from Nick: I know that Chuck didn’t air this week because of the Lauer/Bush thing. I meant last week.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download