Monsters of Television

Here at Monsters of Television we value one trait above all else: snark. Sure, we have to be able to write intelligently and put TV shows in academic and societal contexts, but why do it if you’re not going to be witty about it? So in tribute to both television and snark, I have compiled a list of 10 of the snarkiest, wittiest characters on television. I’m including pictures and videos for all of you out there who don’t read so good. See? Snark. Here we go. Read more »

“You’re hurting people I love. You’re hurting people you love.”

Sometimes when I find myself loathing a character and his/her every action I take a step back and really analyze them. I’ve come to find that in certain situations it means that character is very well done (see: Jack Shepard from LOST and Logan Echolls from Veronica Mars). After the events of season 3 I would certainly include Little J in that same category.

Little. Jenny. Humphrey. The poor nobody from Brooklyn who just wanted to be one of the popular girls. Well we’ve seen her rise to power and as the saying goes it does corrupt absolutely. This season she’s dated a drug dealer, become a drug dealer herself, attempted to steal her stepsister’s boyfriend, and tried to break up her father’s marriage. Now as of the finale she’s tried to destroy Serena further by sending a Gossip Girl blast that she slept with Dan. And she lost her virginity. To Chuck Bass (awesome!). Her stepbrother (oh, not awesome). This season for her has been very focused on destroying Serena and the funny thing about it is, she has become the very person she hates. The drugs, the betrayal: these are reasons Serena was sent away to boarding school. Read more »

“The two of you here together? Please tell me there’s an explanation that doesn’t involve the apocalypse.”

Look at that. First quote not by Chuck Bass.

You know that couple that always fights and they swear they’re better off for it? Or that group of friends that all gossip behind each other’s backs but are closer than anyone else you know? Some people just work that way. “Frenemies” I believe they are referred to as but I dare not use the term out of self-respect and the respect for those of you reading this. That’s how the relationships on Gossip Girl work. They thrive on the dysfunctional. This Ocean’s Eleven style episode showed us just how much they need it (and how much we love to see it).

No event in recent Gossip Girl history has brought this many members of the main cast together for a single, delicious purpose. The heist? Prove that Dr. Holland Campbell is lying about having an affair with Rufus and expose her connection to the pills involved in the evil deeds of Doctor van der Woodsen. Under the leadership of Blair, the Upper East Side version of Danny Ocean, a master plan is concocted. Chuck, Jenny, Nate and even Dan all have their parts to play to put things right. Huh. Crashing rich parties for the sake of helping people. Maybe it’s a little Robin Hood too. I declare this review to be an OUTLAAAAWWW!! Read more »

“Judge away. Shame turns me on.”

Mother’s Day is just around the corner (May 9th. Don’t forget!), but Gossip Girl decides to give us an episode focusing on the struggles of paternal relationships. Father figures on the show fall in many different areas of the support spectrum and the effects of their actions have been the catalysts for many of the shows plot points, especially in this current season.

William van der Woodsen has been on the show for two episodes and has already brought a shit storm down on the Upper East Side. It’s now wide out in the open that he’s gunning for his rightful place as Daddy Dearest in the van der Woodsen home and he’ll get it anyway he can. And Serena’s going to help him do it. Of course she is, she’s daddy’s little girl. She finally has the opportunity to forge a real relationship with her father, something she’s wanted forever, and she’s gonna make the best of it. She even admits: “I love Rufus, but you’re my dad. He’s not.” So Serena invites William to family brunch. And for late night hot chocolate. And uninvited Rufus to the gala. Subtly, thy name sure as hell ain’t Serena van der Woodsen. Read more »

“You look like hell.”

“Small price to pay when you feel like heaven.”

Thank Gossip Girl! In a season full of stagnation and relationships that no one seems to care about, “Dr. Estrangeloved” was a return to the glory days of season 1. We saw some of our favorite characters reappear in their true forms, reminding us of why we fell in love with them, and the show, in the first place.

No return to form was more satisfying than that of smirky, bow-tie enthusiast Chuck Bass. After his break up with Blair, he has once again embraced his inner mother Chucker. Read more »