Monsters of Television

“You have a little danger in your eye.”

The city of Townsville.

While flipping through the pages of a comic book, it’s not as apparent but every idea in and around Batman is completely insane whack-a-doo koo-koo pants. We know that Bruce Wayne is one of the greatest detectives this side of a deerstalker but why is it that all of the criminal masterminds and psychopaths of a city have decided against functional disguises of stealth and, instead, lean toward the garrish, brightly-colored, and unquestionably villainous costumes? To make his job easier? How are there so many of these psychopaths in one town? How many daddy/mommy issues can one city breed? Why aren’t there enough funds in the state or even the country to help out a city whose mental health crisis has consistently threatened the balance of world economy and livelihood? Can there be better locks on Arkham Asylum’s doors? And what of the Bat-Man who looked at this rampant psychopathy and decided on the if-you-can’t-beat-them-join-them philosophy. Well, as far as the garrish costumes go. He definitely beats them. All the time. With his brawny fists. He just does it while wearing a cowl. Which is not as fashionable as it once was.

So how did Gotham City get to this point where Batman constantly has to swoop in and save the city from itself? What helped to tilt the decisions for the city’s insane population to look at a latex suit and say, “Yep. Time to wear that for 60-70% of my life while doing my crime things”? These are questions Gotham has set out to answer.

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“I bet that was the first time Human Target has ever trended on Twitter … those seven people were really upset about it.”

Where’s podcast 13, you ask? Well, think of it like how buildings don’t have thirteenth floors because it’s bad luck. That should distract you from the real reason: Nick got lazy and didn’t cut the last recording. When the Monsters of Television album drops, I’ll make Podcast 13 (and all the others resigned to a similar fate) the secret track for you.

Another secret track on that album? Some of the stuff that was left on the cutting room floor for this podcast. So much to talk about and so little time to do it in. FOX hacked its schedule to shreds this week, canceling just about everything, even putting House on notice for a final season. We stare down the barrel of the upfronts and tell you about what we’ll miss, what we’re looking forward to, and what we’re already cringing about. We also talk a lot of television from the past week, mostly the usual suspects. So go ahead and indulge yourself with this week’s podcast. Learn something. And try to forget about ol’ scary number thirteen.

Running time: 72 minutes

• FOX Bloodbath
  • Chicago Code: 0:00:22
  • Breaking In:0:04:33
• Chuck: 0:10:02
• Wonder Woman: 0:11:42
• Charlie’s Angels: 0:12:58
• FOX Bloodbath – Sepinwall Post: 0:15:24
• NBC PIckups: 0:17:32
• Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea: 0:18:19
• Ashton Kutcher and Two and a Half Men: 0:19:15
• S#*! My Dad Says Cancelled: 0:22:10
• ABC Pickups: 0:22:28
• Damon Wayans, Jr and Happy Endings: 0:26:11
• CW Renewals: 0:27:49
• Smallville: 0:28:15
• Ringer: 0:31:06
• Gossip Girl: 0:33:25
• Game of Thrones: 0:40:20
• The Office: 0:53:40
• Community: 0:55:41
• This Week’s Finales: 1:08:10

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“Our destiny was set the day we triggered the machine.”

Oh Bad Robot and their time paradoxes.

The grim depiction of our future in the wake of Peter activating the machine is enough to get anyone to seriously consider all possible consequences of making a decision. “If I get this kind cheese WILL THE UNIVERSE EXPLODE?” That may be a bit less dire than deciding the fate of two universes, but still. What “The Day We Died” was able to accomplish was giving us a different look at the world of Fringe. We saw where our characters would be in the future, what their lives would be like, what the world itself would be like. Most importantly: it defined the stakes. Peter had been battling with this decision for a large portion of this season. Well he made his bed and everyone in two universes had to sleep in it.

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“There is an entire world out there with no rhyme or reason. Where would you like to start?”

Knowing Walter’s love of LSD, the title of the episode alone should make you giddy.

William Bell is still inhabiting Olivia’s body due to his Soul Magnets (new band name, called it!) and efforts to remove his consciousness have proven less than successful.  Now complications are growing and they have less than a day to get her back. The idea: INCEPTION! Cause really, what isn’t referencing Inception nowadays?

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“Make sure they spell my name right.”

One of the great things about Fringe is that even in a show dealing with parallel universes and other hard sci-fi plots, it’s still a believable show. Hear me out. At its core, Fringe is about taking science too far. Sure, sometimes people on the show use science for bank robberies or bringing back lost loved ones, but a lot of times it’s about people trying to do right and having it go horribly wrong. That’s the essence of Walters character and “Immortality’ gives us a look at another man who has taken his research to an extreme point for the “greater good.”

Or is it?

Dr. Silva is attempting to bring the skelter beetle back from extinction because they contain an enzyme he was working worth to produce a cure for the avian flu. Since the beetle died out with sheep (love the little details that distinguish the “over there” universe from our own) he’s engineering the beetles to live in other hosts: humans. Can you see why Fringe Division would have a problem with this?

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“Are you uncomfortable with emotions, Noel?”

Much like the Force and those pesky dogs at the Hollywood Farmers’ Market coddled by their people-aggressive owners, Noel got a little unleashed here at about the 1:04:07 mark. Sure, we talk about other stuff like the Golden Globe/SAG award nominations, some TV for this week, and the mid-season series hitting the networks next month but we like it when Noel has a chance to go off on the mockumentary style (which has been committed to the public record earlier) because it’s so rare to see (or hear even) Noel get all up in arms.

So listen to the other stuff, too, because it’s good (despite Matt not being able to hang with us) but prepare to crack a smile just past the hour mark.

Running Time: 69 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• Golden Globes/SAG Award Nominations: 0:00:43
  • Neil Patrick Harris: 0:19:01
• The Good Wife: 0:21:31
• Psych: 0:33:56
• Mid-Season Shows
  • FX: 0:40:14
  • NBC: 0:43:43
  • FOX: 0:55:48
  • ABC: 0:58:29
  • Showtime: 1:01:11

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“Challenges WHAT?”

These week on the podcast, we mull over the implications of the NBC and Fox midseason shakeups as well as some of the shows we wish weren’t on the brink of cancellation (real or imagined), a recap of some recent food television, and, of course, discussions of the shows we’re watching. Hit us with a comment if you have something to tag on (and you should) and enjoy the sweet sounds of our lovely voices.

Notes: • During the food television segments, Matt and Nick tried out the mute function on Skype. It didn’t work. Sorry. • Nick makes references to multiple properties throughout the podcast that are not only telling of his age but also are sometimes so esoteric some readers/listeners might not quite get how hilarious he is. To that point, submitted for your education is a hint of (Family) Double Dare and a dash of Hello Again with a smidge of Emily Quartermaine (from last week’s podcast).

Running Time: 77 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• Walking Dead: 0:00:39
• Terriers: 0:09:23
  • The Good Wife: 0:16:13
  • Rubicon: 0:18:18
• NBC Midseason Shakeup: 0:21:01
• Fox Midseason Shakeup: 0:35:24
• Fringe: 0:40:38
• Top Chef: Just Desserts: 0:49:04
• Top Chef: All-Stars: 0:57:17
• Private Practice: 1:00:40
• No Ordinary Family: 1:07:23
• The Cape: 1:11:40
• In Treatment: 1:12:23

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