Monsters of Television

“I bet that was the first time Human Target has ever trended on Twitter … those seven people were really upset about it.”

Where’s podcast 13, you ask? Well, think of it like how buildings don’t have thirteenth floors because it’s bad luck. That should distract you from the real reason: Nick got lazy and didn’t cut the last recording. When the Monsters of Television album drops, I’ll make Podcast 13 (and all the others resigned to a similar fate) the secret track for you.

Another secret track on that album? Some of the stuff that was left on the cutting room floor for this podcast. So much to talk about and so little time to do it in. FOX hacked its schedule to shreds this week, canceling just about everything, even putting House on notice for a final season. We stare down the barrel of the upfronts and tell you about what we’ll miss, what we’re looking forward to, and what we’re already cringing about. We also talk a lot of television from the past week, mostly the usual suspects. So go ahead and indulge yourself with this week’s podcast. Learn something. And try to forget about ol’ scary number thirteen.

Running time: 72 minutes

• FOX Bloodbath
  • Chicago Code: 0:00:22
  • Breaking In:0:04:33
• Chuck: 0:10:02
• Wonder Woman: 0:11:42
• Charlie’s Angels: 0:12:58
• FOX Bloodbath – Sepinwall Post: 0:15:24
• NBC PIckups: 0:17:32
• Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea: 0:18:19
• Ashton Kutcher and Two and a Half Men: 0:19:15
• S#*! My Dad Says Cancelled: 0:22:10
• ABC Pickups: 0:22:28
• Damon Wayans, Jr and Happy Endings: 0:26:11
• CW Renewals: 0:27:49
• Smallville: 0:28:15
• Ringer: 0:31:06
• Gossip Girl: 0:33:25
• Game of Thrones: 0:40:20
• The Office: 0:53:40
• Community: 0:55:41
• This Week’s Finales: 1:08:10

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“Larry King’s so old he had to retire from sitting in a chair.”

A friend of mine tried to defend Mr. Sunshine to me last night by saying it’s good because it’s “vintage Matthew Perry.” That’s true. That’s also the problem.

Just because a former Friends friend is playing themselves doesn’t mean the show is going to be good. Do you not remember Joey? As much as I love Matthew Perry, now matter how vintage he may be, I am still not loving this show. All it is is Matthew Perry surrounded by unfunny people and hating his life. I feel ya, MP.

That’s what it’s like watching your show.

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“Just melt the ice, Bobert!”

I love Matthew Perry. Let me just affirm that first. Chandler was my favorite character on Friends and I have loved the majority of his film career (that includes “17 Again”). That makes the following very hard for me to say.

Mr. Sunshine is really not that good.

Could I be any more disappointed? I was very excited for Matthew Perry to be back on TV and producing and writing and starring in his own new show. I was sure it would be great. And he is. The show itself? Not so much.
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“Anna’s a lizard? That sucks. She’s so hot.”

It’s been a long time since the sky turned red (well, only 4 days in story time), but V came out swinging. Questions were answered, things were shown, lines were drawn and other nouns were verbed. Earth continues to be a planet populated mostly by idiots as the V’s plans continue and most of us keep drinking the red Kool-Aid. I prefer Ice Blue Raspberry Lemonade myself.

We got to see the V baby! And she’s so cute! Ryan only got a short time with her before being banished from the mothership. Anna plans on fueling his hatred of her to lead him to the Fifth Column (of which he’s already a main member) and destroying them from the inside. Hobbs already has reservations about his rejoining the group. Understandable seeing the extreme anger issues Ryan seems to have developed. He beat the piss out of that tracker. By the way, was anyone else thinking about this during the chase scene? It’s all I was seeing.

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“No. I never thought our friends were criminals until we made friends with criminals.”

Ok. This must be discussed before diving into the meat of the episode. I feel cheated, No Ordinary Family. Daphne’s amnesia, a super exciting possible plot development, was just an outlet for introducing potential new viewers to the concept and to the character’s powers. It’s resolved in the first 2 minutes of the episode by touching her family members and relearning everything. All of the emotional weight from the brilliant ending to “No Ordinary Sidekick” was just wasted. Cheap, No Ordinary Family. Cheap.

Now that that’s off my chest let’s talk this week. “No Ordinary Friends” introduced us to the Cotton Family. The patriarch, Dave, was saved by Jim and so a friendship between the two families was born. Jim and Steph loved the possibility of having people they could talk and relate to. Apparently they forgot about George and Katie.

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“Are you uncomfortable with emotions, Noel?”

Much like the Force and those pesky dogs at the Hollywood Farmers’ Market coddled by their people-aggressive owners, Noel got a little unleashed here at about the 1:04:07 mark. Sure, we talk about other stuff like the Golden Globe/SAG award nominations, some TV for this week, and the mid-season series hitting the networks next month but we like it when Noel has a chance to go off on the mockumentary style (which has been committed to the public record earlier) because it’s so rare to see (or hear even) Noel get all up in arms.

So listen to the other stuff, too, because it’s good (despite Matt not being able to hang with us) but prepare to crack a smile just past the hour mark.

Running Time: 69 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• Golden Globes/SAG Award Nominations: 0:00:43
  • Neil Patrick Harris: 0:19:01
• The Good Wife: 0:21:31
• Psych: 0:33:56
• Mid-Season Shows
  • FX: 0:40:14
  • NBC: 0:43:43
  • FOX: 0:55:48
  • ABC: 0:58:29
  • Showtime: 1:01:11

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