Monsters of Television

“I’ve never, ever heard smooth jams.”

“Please come to my fantasy island, now with less socialism.”

Can we go ahead and call this show Morgan already?

He’s all that’s left for me on this show, the only one that has any obstacles or intrigue. Sure, everyone’s story in this episode was vapid and trite but Morgan’s stands out because there exists at least a little bit of tension. Besides, I think Chuck and Sarah might work better as secondary characters.

Alas, the name of the show is Chuck so we watch these two idiots work a flimsy thread and carry it out to the its illogical end. I know I’ve said this several times before but I think I’m actually going to have to listen to myself this time: this show doesn’t want to be what it was. It used to be a spy show about a guy that tries to reconcile his stagnent yet contented home life with a fantastical, dangerous, and exciting one that abandons his family. Season 4 is far, far away from the life of intrigue and struggle (such that it was in the balance with the goofy and the cartoonish). Chuck this season would rather be a broad comedy burdened with an hour-long format and this mythology people seem to keep coming back for. It’s a romantic romp with this spy thread to push it along. Ladies and gentlemen, no episode this season has screamed it out loud more: the ‘shippers have won. And maybe it’s time I accepted that there’s nothing wrong with that.

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“Aw, geeze, he must’ve gotten sucked into my enigma hole.”

I missed last week’s very fun send-up of noirs with Hank due to schedule craziness (read: I was dead tired). I really enjoyed the episode though as it tied up some dangling mysteries (never thought for a second that Dermott belonged to Brock) and paired Hank and Al together in a very productive (and meaningful way). But that episode has nothing on the sheer lunacy and cleverness of “Bright Lights, Dean City.” Read more »

“We’ve created a monster.”

Don Draper Confidantes Unite!

How many times are they going to beat into us that Betty has the mind of a child? Short of giving her a rattle and a diaper, I’m not sure how much more obvious they make it. It seems almost like the only development we get on her anymore is just how childish she can be. Even though she’s graduated to bitchy high school cheerleader in this episode, we usually get no breakthroughs, no progress, no plot points with her except at the end of this episode but it’s only to get back at her daughter in some sick competition for a creep show.

You’re totally picturing January Jones in a diaper, aren’t you?

While Betty showed off more of her juvenile side, Don showed what makes him special but it’s so far out that not even his own partners can see what he did. To be fair, though, radical moves don’t look great to partners when the walls are caving in. You know who gets it though, 100%? Of course Peggy does! It was partly her idea!

Also: I want to be able to say “get me my shoes” and have people worried that I’m leaving the company.

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Teach me, Uncle Mason.

Few broad comments before I get into the nitty gritty. First, I gotta say, I was kind of kidding in weeks past when I called Caroline, “Awesome Vampire Caroline” [AVC], but now I just have to make that her official name. TVD has officially proven that the best way to make a bad character better is to kill him/her. And then make him/her undead.

I know that just being supernatural doesn’t work because Bonnie sucks. She’s whiny, bitter, and boring. AVC, on the other hand, is whiny, bitter, and exciting!

Other characters deserving of such treatment? Consider the possibilities. On TVD, there’s Jeremy, obviously. But outside this show? Would becoming undead make Tara on True Blood cooler? I bet it would. What about that girl with an addiction on Rubicon? She could use a little undead action. Don’s ex on Mad Men?  Way better as a vampire–all her particularities would become evil distortions.  Alex on Grey’s Anatomy?  Dwight on The Office?  Gosh, this is a fun game. Wanna play?

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Love the scarf, Damon.

So I was out of town last week, which means this week is a SUPER SPECIAL TWO-FER!!!! That’s right, two eps of The Vampire Diaries [TVD], two reviews. Super exciting, I know.

This episode was sort of okay.  Needed more vampire Caroline (instead of “trying to be a good friend but secretly working for Katherine” Caroline).  Needed more Damon (amazing how the dude brightens a scene, despite being so dark).  Needed way less of the flashbacks of mooning teenagers in Civil War garb. But there were some good moments, to be discussed after the jump…

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“Then you’re not listening because his has lasers.”

It appears it was “Let’s talk about religion!” week for some broadcast comedies and Glee (nailed it). It’s an odd trend to just have happen at once (Modern Family dealt with religion this week as well, but I don’t watch Modern Family so I can’t comment on it) and even Community got wrapped up in the trend.

I’ve seen a lot of discussion on Twitter about how television fiction handles religion. Typically it’s done in a one-off episode and is then never mentioned again (unless you’re Bones, and then you mention it in passing constantly, but that’s because you’ve got two sensible characters discussing differences of beliefs). But sitcoms tend to follow the one-off formula a little more than others, a semi-very special episode as it were that helps bring a story around to the central idea expressed in Glee‘s “Grilled Cheesus” and this episode of Community: It’s okay not to believe in God, but for the love of God, please believe in something. Read more »

“Jenny-Sarah, how did you end up with such a goofball?”

It’s hard to be the only character working this season.

Dear People of Chuck:

What are you doing? I know that you’ve lost some writers, some good (Rosenbaum), some mediocre but affable (Adler), and that you’re entering this season with a new look for a story, but it’s like you’re running scared and low on inspiration.

Season 3 offered a lot of depth in character, given the duality Chuck has to suffer with the Intersect, not only losing his humanity to his career but also his sanity to his government-sanctioned affliction. Sarah wrestled with her identity as it’s defined by Chuck’s gaze (has she ever had her own identity?) and Casey found out he has a daughter. How is it, with all these interesting arcs, that Morgan is the only developing character left in the series?

I get the pressure you must be under, trying to limp through this season, hoping that the talent remaining can carry you through Four and make a go of Five (though, with multiple projects running at the same time, you might be hoping for some fall out to regain focus). I also understand that Three started just as weak (“vs The Three Words” and “vs Operation Awesome” almost turned me off the series) but came around in the middle just before the mini-season at the end (except for “vs The Honeymooners,” aka the “Stranger in a Strange Land” of Chuck). So maybe I’m being reactionary and I need to wait it out for a couple more weeks before making accusations. But, for right now, I have to tell you:

This season suh-hucks.

This episode is indicative of that. It leans on season three like a crutch and does nothing with it. The only person that seems to be working at all in this series anymore is Josh Grimes. And even the Buy More sequences are weak sauce. The Chuck and Sarah stuff, though only three episodes in, is already getting repetitive. But, the worst part about this season so far: there aren’t any stakes. Because you squashed any attempt at suspense in the first episode. So why do we care?

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“It’s ok, you can say it. Best sidekick ever”

The thing that’s going to keep No Ordinary Family afloat is something that the show has, in only two episodes, has proven it does extremely well: ground everything into relatable, realistic terms. Even on a show about people who can read minds and run at super speeds, the core of the conflicts and resolutions are rooted in real people.

Jim and Steph have a very believable marriage despite the fact that many of their recent arguments are somehow centered around the use of their powers. Jim has always been overzealous about the use of his abilities while Steph has remained more cautious. But a role reversal brings to light many issues average marriages face everyday: hypocrisy, lies and the need for validation.

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“Then I’ll get to disabusing.”

While I got to see “Taking Control,” the season 2 premiere of The Good Wife, I was unable to write a review for it so as to conserve energy for sitting on a bus for 22 hours (I was attending a conference in Austin). I apologize for missing it, but Tuesday night was the last chance for legitimate sleep until the following Sunday, and I love sleep more than The Good Wife.

But not by much.

After the jump I’ll do a brief review of “Taking Control” (even shorter review: excellent) and then a regular sized review of “Double Jeopardy.” Read more »

“Old Chuck, new Chuck. Bad Chuck, good Chuck.”

Everyone on Gossip Girl is a horrible person.

We love to watch the fights and the breakups and the schemes but when a real person, a legitimately good person is thrown into the lions den that is the Upper East Side it becomes very clear that the characters we love really are a bunch of vicious animals. Poor Eva. All the twists and turns of the episode tried just as hard to wreck her image as Blair was. But she really was an angel. And now she’s gone, leaving nothing but destruction and heartache in her wake.

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