Monsters of Television

Hmmmm.  That’s about where I’m at with this episode.  One thing I can certainly say is that this week was not at all like last week’s super talky episode.  Some stuff happened here.  A plan was hatched. A person was killed.  Things kinda got reset but then, not reset at all.  It was the perfect midseason finale in some ways—they have shifted the players on the board just enough to surprise viewers but not enough to dramatically alter the central thrust of the season.

So here’s my real issue—the central thrust of the season is Klaus.  Yes, it is also bad Stefan (and that I like).  But Klaus…um, how do I put this?  He sucks.  You know, as a bad guy.  He isn’t scary, he’s terribly whiny (runs in the family), and he tends to talk much bigger than he acts.  Why oh why are we continuing with Klaus when other possible bad guys—ahem, Mikael—seem to have so much more potential for genuine menace and mayhem?

Elena and Damon may be coming to terms with losing Stefan.  Maybe.  But that was super tentative because there was no  kiss between them, there was no goodbye between Elena and Stefan, there was nothing that would prevent Elena from ever loving Stefan again.  So really, Elena’s decision to try to move on was not really a decision—it was a statement of fact that he’s sort of out of the picture for a while. Disappointing.

Did anyone really suffer a loss here?  Okay, I did.  My favorite couple is no more, and it seemed an appropriate break.  But I am sad, nevertheless.

Ugh–sad!  I’ve had it up to here with “Sad Rebekah”. I made a joke in last week’s post that we need a “Sad Rebekah” meme like we had with “Sad Dawson.”  With Dawson, the funny part was Van Der Beek’s difficulty playing sad.  With Rebekah, it is her inability to feel anything else.  Bor-ing.  And not moving.  A sad sack of a woman, who is betrayed for 1000 years, worries more about a dance than, oh, I don’t know, asking her brother how he could do that to her? Disappointing.

I suppose I should take a moment to acknowledge that I have always complained that TVD has one big problem—being a vampire is always awesome, so why doesn’t everyone just sign up to become one? But then again, “Sad Rebekah” seems to think being a vampire is all lonely (whine, whine, whine), so maybe I’m supposed to read her predicament as a condemnation of vampirism.  That said, just because Rebekah is herself  a pretty crummy character (with no personal drive beyond joining the cheerleading squad?), I’m not sure that is quite what I was asking for with the whole, “there needs to be something about being a vampire that sucks to make Elena’s decision to avoid being one make more sense.”  [side note: Twilight is a pretty terrible set of books (fun, but terrible), but they were on to something with the monster baby.  Is having a baby the one human experience you lose as a vampire?  If The Vampire Diaries was set roughly twenty years later, that would be the issue—Elena is approaching 40 and neither of her two vampire boyfriends can give her what she needs.  Ha!] Suffice to say, Rebekah’s loneliness is not a terribly compelling plot line.

But let me say a few nice things.  I liked the Elena-Bonnie girl talk scene.  I loved the breakup scene (subtle, simple, effective).  But more importantly, there’s a trait in #TVD that I have long admired–the show’s writers respect Elena.  They don’t make her stupid or weak or whiny.  She tends to be pretty self-aware, confident, and determined.  Even though she doesn’t have Buffy’s advantages, she does have some of Buffy’s strength of self.  And that’s awesome. Elena is the one character that doesn’t need to be “fixed” by becoming supernatural.  Maybe that’s why she doesn’t need to turn.

So this episode is kind of a mess.  Stuff happens, yet nothing much changes.  How can we move forward at 120 miles per hour yet end up in exactly the same spot?  This is the danger of a mid-season finale, folks.  Disappointing.

Read more »

All I kept thinking throughout this episode was, “oh, no, are they trying to make me like Rebekah? Do they want me to feel sorry for Rebekah?” Cause it just isn’t going to happen. We’ve basically seen nothing redeeming about her except that she is loyal to her brother (note: only to Klaus) to a pathological degree. The main good news that I can see from all this Original drama is that maybe a pissed off Rebekah will bring back Elijah. I mean, let’s make this fight against Klaus a bit more fair.

In other news, Bonnie is boring, Jeremy is nowhere to be seen, and also missing are Awesome Vampire Caroline (boooo) and Not-So-Awesome Hybrid Tyler. I figure they’ll come back strong next week as Tyler continues to slip from Caroline’s grasp (booo).

This wasn’t a great episode as far as entertainment. This was a “we have a LOT of backstory to get through, so sit down as we tell a bunch of stories about the past” kind of episode. The super long distant past, btw, as in a 1000 years ago with Vikings and shit. While I wish the show had found a more active manner to give us all this backstory (i.e. what if Rebekah found out the truth about Klaus at the beginning of the episode and then that prompted her memories as she tries to work through a new version of her own history?), but it still ended with a pretty terrific reveal by Elena. The kind of reveal that makes me think these writers do know what they are doing—character is the heart of this show, and when they keep to that—it works.

Read more »

“It’s midnight and it’s time to go home.”

Guys, we’re almost there. These are the last episodes before (I imagine) we’ll hear the word “finals” used so incessantly we won’t even know what it means anymore. The NBA will start calling their championship rounds “games for winners” and students will start calling the last week of the semester a time for “Bigtests.” That warehouse grocery store will start being called Smart&Something-Something. Finals. Finals. Finals. It’s lost all meaning.

Contestants will start to trade in their “It’s Week n” rhetoric and, much more emphatically, beat the “this is the semifinals/finals” rhetoric into the ground. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.

Let’s face it: the lead up to the finals is a competition to see who’ll get that third spot in the last episode. Going into this results show this week (and probably next), we can already presume who’s certainly going to be in the final three despite Ricki’s sniveling about failure. Unless something cataclysmic happens, she’s not going anywhere. Then again, I was pretty certain about Kristin, too. And America seems to be really into watching Nancy Grace embarrass herself. It’s like when high school jocks and cheerleaders (the mean ones from the movies and TV, not actual people) vote for the special-ed kid to be prom king. You guys are just mean.

Furthermore, this week Double Dance Week, which means the performers do a dance and then pick a song at random to do another dance. So, basically, it’s a week that benefits people with natural ability and adaptability (JR) and punishes those that’ve just limped along on pity votes (Nancy Nancy Nancy Nancy Nancy Nancy Nancy).

Now, Nancy seems to have lost all meaning. Let’s talk about how the remaining five couples did. Read more »

So, I’ve had a rough few weeks. Life has been very busy and at times quite stressful. Most stressful, though, is the fact that I haven’t had a chance to write up TVD, despite the fact that it is firing on ALL cylinders. I mean, they even made that ghost storyline work—and within the context of Halloween—how awesome. Now, am I happy that Tyler is slowly being regressed into his formerly assaholicky state? Not so much. Am I pleased that Awesome Vampire Caroline is seeming less smart because of her failure to comprehend how important Tyler is to Klaus? Nope. What about the fact that Jeremy and Bonnie are done? Well, yeah, that I am happy about.

I don’t want to write up this week without at least pausing to take stock of the last two weeks, so I’m still waiting to watch the most recent episode (which is kind of killing me), so I can give a sense of where I’m at with the show.  There is much that I’ve liked in the last few weeks.  For instance, the show finally gave us an explanation for all this ghost nonsense (remember, muddy mythology is my top crime for a fantasy show).  Plus, the great perk of the ghost storyline was definitely not Vicki but rather seeing other, way more interesting characters.  Like Uncle Mason.  Can we have a “hell yeah” for Mason being back in town?  Love, love love.  Boasting extreme integrity, Mason is a genuine, honest, admirable character, even in death.  How sad that he never stopped by to say “hi” to Tyler to show him how awesomeness is done.  I’m kind of sorry the ghost stuff seems to have been shut down, if only cause I’ll miss Mason.

So let’s take a moment to consider where all the characters are in life, with some advice for what’s missing.  Again, don’t get me wrong–I’ve found the last few episodes to be surprising, action-packed, and entertaining.  But I’m a TVD glutton–there is always more awesome to be had.

Read more »

“It’s going to be one of those nights. Fair warning.”

It’s Week 7 so there’s a noticeable uptick in contestants using that number to explain why they did what they did on the dance floor. A lot of “It’s Week 7 so I gotta bring it” rhetoric.

Adding to the obstacle of “Week 7-ness” was a song selection that was like someone went to their iPod and picked six songs that were vaguely about Halloween but not really because who has “Monster Mash” on their iPod all year long? No “Thriller.” No “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.” Yes to “Abracadabra.” Yes to a tango set to “The Addams Family” theme. I would say this is a remark on how the DWTS cachet has crumbled (since they’re not getting top flight songs to play) but, then again, Justin Bieber did two songs during the results show. So I don’t know what to think. Maybe he just needs to make some dough to support that kid after all.

But back to that “Addams Family” number. I’ve been making fun of Shemp Kardashian from the beginning of the show. I didn’t think he’d last three weeks (Noel put him at one). I put him at the bottom every time, ranking him with Nancy Grace and Chaz Bono, but that’s probably not fair. I can objectively see that he’s improving in the dance from his limp shuffling about in the early stages of the competition. I’m told that he’s a very likable person though I’m not sure I see it myself. Not that he’s a bad guy. I don’t want to like him. Call it a Kardashian stigma.

But maybe I should cut the guy some slack. Though doing the tango to “The Addams Family” wasn’t as difficult as doing it to, say, “Ghostbusters” (that’s not just raising the handicap for JR — that’s setting him up for failure), it’s still a hard song to do anything to that’s not call-and-response snapping. He tries hard and improves week to week. Though I still think he’s fighting a losing battle, maybe it’s time to give Rob Kardashian his due, let him rise above what made his family internationally famous (big butts, a sex tape, and being quintessential doofuses), and attain the highest level of integrity a dance competition comprised of acutely famous people can afford.

But Shemp Kardashian is such a good name!

Let’s take a spin through the six couples. Read more »

“Tell me why it would be better the other way. Please.”

I was hoping for a Halloween gag-reel under the closing credits where the high school walkers danced to “Thriller.” No such luck.

The rest of the episode keeps to this series’s hot streak, though. We’ve traded in a lot of the action for a lot of the talky-talky, which can be a little annoying at times (@ErinHill2 described it really well on Twitter: “As in [high school] Spanish, the minute anything productive happens, everyone has to split up for stilted conversations in small groups.”) but necessary to make up for the lack of character building last season. While I might enjoy it, I can see how some people not accustomed to the slow, agonizing burn of an AMC series might not appreciate so many trembling chats separated by short scenes of a fat dude running away from extras. I assure you, people, you’ll appreciate it when something huge happens. That cheesy dying speech will be more tearjerker than internet meme now that we know these people better.

Not that I know what’s going to happen on this show. I possess no clairvoyance but I have predictions and assumptions. Let’s unpack and wildly speculate! Read more »

“You mom is Coogan.”

I’ve missed Psych.

There are a few things that make a Psych episode: (1) Shawn and Gus banter, (2) a mystery with clues that Shawn can connect in the fourth act, (3) references that stoke the nostalgia of Generations X and Y. Everything else is bonus. The other characters like O’Hara, Lassiter, and Henry are great but these are the key elements.

The show always delivers on those points but has been comparatively lazy in its effort lately. It’s still one of the funniest shows on television (cable or broadcast) but its guffaw count has been sinking and its characters threaten to be bland in the formula. And then this episode came along.

I heard a lot of people tout last week’s episode to be one of the funniest in years. It has nothing on this episode. Not only does it hit all those points but it also expands a neglected character and opens up the horror homage playbook. I’m, like, giddy over here. And I’m usually not giddy. But, to be fair, it’s usually because I have to watch Dancing with the Stars.

Read more »

“She didn’t say he wasn’t Stalin.”

OMG TEH DRAMA!

So often Len reminds me of Simon Cowell’s reality game show persona that the animosity toward him is unsurprising. While Len is more prone to letting himself look a fool on camera (that was him doing the Twist a couple weeks ago), he holds an authority rooted in something more than experience or wisdom. His austerity lends to a moral authority. The reviews he plunks upon the dancers feels heavier and, as if his tacit sad or gleeful eyes weren’t enough reason for a dancer’s devastation or elation, then a turn of phrase in his matter-of-fact delivery is enough to either crush a person or send them soaring. I’m new to the show but I’m surprised an angry outburst from a celebrity or dancer hasn’t occurred sooner.

You may see my bias showing but, of the remaining couples, Hope Solo has certainly been the most put upon. Each week she may have a middling showing but is ripped apart by the judges (even if the scores are as middling as her dances). While Chaz and Nancy get pats on their shoulders while the judges say, “There, there — at least you’re trying!” to dry their tears, Hope has been called not sexy, not feminine, clumsy, too muscly, stiff (one week), willowy (another), all while each judge concludes that she’s a good dancer but isn’t putting in the effort or just isn’t showing on the floor. Last week, it broke the normally smarmy façade of the world’s number one goalkeeper and this week it broke her partner.

Read more »

“The world must be your oyster.”

As with the previous post, I open with an apology for no post about last week’s episode. But last week’s episode wasn’t all that great, so I don’t feel too bad about it. And I also did a podcast with Cory Barker that discusses the episode and the season thus far (it’s the second half the podcast, in case you don’t watch or like Community), so I feel that kind of makes up for not posting anything about it.

On the upside, the adorably named “Marthas And Caitlins” is a good enough episode that I’m willing to fight through my intense sinus headache I’m experiencing today to write up a few hundred words for you. I mean, if Dylan Baker can make the time to stop by, I can I at least tell you about all the fun I had watching him. Read more »

“It’s nature correcting itself.”

Ah, now that’s the agonizing pace I’ve grown to love from an AMC drama.

A running theme to my entries on this show (that is no doubt starting to sound repetitive) includes how The Walking Dead should aim to strike a balance between meditating on the inherent drama of life in a post-apocalyptic world and the action of still trying to escape from the thing that caused it. Episodic storytelling gives the storyteller an opportunity to unpack a horror situation and build deeper, more meaningful connections which can lead to deeper, more meaningful traumatizing experiences for us as an audience. Whether they’re actually trying to strike this balance is unknown to me. I just want it real bad.

“Bloodletting” is a step in that direction, in that we have a couple of action beats but only one of them is a pure action sequence to drive suspense. The other is an action beat used to promote drama, insinuate character development, and possibly introduce a perspective on walker attacks for us to ponder.

Or maybe it’s a mish-mash story poorly told and I’m just layering my hopes and dreams on top of it. Allow me to present my case. Read more »