Monsters of Television

“Of course he’s still alive. Haven’t you ever seen a John Carpenter movie?”

They can see you. And they’re totally grossed out.

So on Tuesday I watched the penultimate episode of Lost, a show with so many plot points and mysteries and characters and secret organizations/alliances/double-crosses/betrayals/dimensions/timelines that no one is certain how they can contain it all in a single series, let alone how to hit on everything from episode to episode. So many loose ends to attack and so many characters to mug. And yet, their episodes never feel like they’re short-changing anyone. Chuck, while having a moderately-sized cast and a certain level of mystery, does not have the ever-expanding intrigue Lost has built in six years but failed tonight with an overpacked episode before the finale.

Now, it’s a little unfair to compare Chuck to Lost since the latter is one of the most narratively complex series since Grey’s Anatomy (I still don’t get that show) and Chuck leans barely enough into drama that it doesn’t have a laugh track. But they are both serialized dramas and Chuck allowed itself to drain the emotion out of an episode to make room for more story, more setup, more threads to continue into the end of this mini-season. And I get that these last few episodes are, in fact, a mini-season, extras tagged onto the end of what the producers felt would be the end of Season 3. But too much was stuffed in here, to the detriment of what could have been.

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“You like to think that you’re a good person, and maybe at one time you were, but we both know you’ll do whatever it takes.”

Does the show need a villain? No. Am I glad it'll be Cary? Yes.

It’s a bit difficult to describe just how good a show can be. At the very least, you can tell a person that they need to watch a show and hope that they get around to it at some point. If you’re more aggressive, you loan them the DVDs of a show (if available) and hope that person gets around to watching them. If you’re really aggressive, you can tie that person down and make them watch the DVDs.

What can you do, however, to make someone watch a brand new show like The Good Wife? I was slightly badgered by a professor of mine and it just happened that there wasn’t anything on Tuesday at 10 so I tuned in. And with Lost ending this Sunday (must…not…cry…right…now…), I’m so thrilled that I now have a new favorite drama to look forward to in the fall, and, on the flip side, go through massive withdrawals for during the summer.

Because The Good Wife is just that good. Read more »

“You’re hurting people I love. You’re hurting people you love.”

Sometimes when I find myself loathing a character and his/her every action I take a step back and really analyze them. I’ve come to find that in certain situations it means that character is very well done (see: Jack Shepard from LOST and Logan Echolls from Veronica Mars). After the events of season 3 I would certainly include Little J in that same category.

Little. Jenny. Humphrey. The poor nobody from Brooklyn who just wanted to be one of the popular girls. Well we’ve seen her rise to power and as the saying goes it does corrupt absolutely. This season she’s dated a drug dealer, become a drug dealer herself, attempted to steal her stepsister’s boyfriend, and tried to break up her father’s marriage. Now as of the finale she’s tried to destroy Serena further by sending a Gossip Girl blast that she slept with Dan. And she lost her virginity. To Chuck Bass (awesome!). Her stepbrother (oh, not awesome). This season for her has been very focused on destroying Serena and the funny thing about it is, she has become the very person she hates. The drugs, the betrayal: these are reasons Serena was sent away to boarding school. Read more »

“Everybody’s lying except you?”

How do you make the spiral of the American economy make sense to the American people? Goodness knows that The Daily Show has tried every other week only to have Jon meet someone at Camera 3 and then give up in frustration. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense. And then Law & Order comes around and just nails it.

Instead of stocks and houses, it’s about comic books. And instead of mega-banks inflating their profits, it’s husbands trying to deflate their profits to keep money from their wives. What could be more accessible to American audiences than three semi-geeky guys trying to hide profits from their wives? Read more »

“The ‘but’ is that there’s always a ‘but.’“

[insert my intro from last week’s 30 Rock here].

It’s like the shows that I used to really love finally heard my complaints and decided to shape up for their last two episodes. Well, kind of shape up anyway. I mean, it’s hard to binge on mediocre to downright awful episodes and then shimmy into that suit or wedding dress that is the season finale. And it’s question that I think we all need to grapple with, regardless of the show we’re watching: Does a good run up to the season finale (and hopefully a good season finale) make up for a lousy season, or at the very least, grant a stay of execution for that show from your schedule for the next season? Read more »

“We’re American. We don’t quit just because we’re wrong. We keep doing the wrong thing until it turns out right.”

An exiled hero must return to glory and face his greatest challenge yet to aid his helpless community. Doesn’t exactly strike you as the plot of an episode of The Boondocks does it? Where’s the social commentary? Where’s the abundance of cussing? Oh it’s all there wrapped up in a neat ass kicking, wall crushing, ball kicking bow.

It’s no secret that Aaron McGruder is a huge fan of and inspired by anime and Asian cinema. Tonight’s episode was a perfect homage. It was a hero’s journey in the same vein as a Stephen Chow film, especially Shaolin Soccer. Huey must return to kickball after a self-imposed exile (he gave a poor girl a “permanent severe limp”) to save the Woodcrest community after tycoon Ed Wuncler (Ed Asner) bets it on a kickball game against a rival Chinese businessman’s team. All of the necessary components for a good hero tale are there: Out of practice protagonist. No hope misfit team. Insurmountable odds. An epic showdown with the rival (Chinese team captain Ming). Read more »

“The Doctor in the TARDIS hasn’t noticed yet.”

Barren wastelands really put Amy in the mood.

Clever boy.

A problem with the Davies period was that each series had an arc word/phrase that drove around each episode, until it finally, actually happened during the last two or three episodes of that series. It made for a rather infuriating serial element that never felt like it mattered until the very end, and then it meant everything. It was essentially an 11-episode tease.

The Moffat period has followed suit with the crack/smile in time. It’s been following the Doctor and Amy (though I’ve contended mostly Amy) around time and space, not doing a whole lot other than looking very menacing on the upholstery. Thankfully, “Flesh and Stone” resolves this issue.

Well, kind of resolves it anyway. Read more »

“I promise this weekend will be spent staring out windows while holding a glass of scotch.”

30 Rock, I’m starting to think you and I are in an abusive relationship. I keep coming back to you this season when I know I shouldn’t, and you’ve pretty routinely beaten me up each time. But then you do an episode like this, and it’s like you’ve suddenly swore you’re going to stop hitting me, you’ve stopped drinking, and you bought me those exceptionally yummy Premium Mint Chocolate M&Ms. 2 bags even!

And I forgive you and act like you never did horrible things like Kenneth having Donkey Fever or botch up (and come too late to)  the late night debacle or inflict an episode like “Winter Madness” on me. And then we curl up and wonder what’s going on in your writers room that you can only produce something like this so late in the season. Or were you planning on this all along? Read more »

“Who cares about a stupid exam? We’re a study group.”

They could’ve stayed in Spanish forever. It could’ve been that simple. And it would’ve been kind of easy for them, and Community isn’t really about easy and simple. It likes to tweak the sitcom enough to do different things, including acknowledge the passing of time in a fairly realistic way given its setting. And after the awesomeness of last week’s “Modern Warfare,” “English as a Second Language” was kind of a nice refresher course on the series overall structure.

Of course, a show sets a precedent like this and I start holding it accountable: it had better end in 4 years. I don’t want to see Community: The New Class with Jeff as the instructor for Introduction to Judicial Systems helping a bunch of new kids figure out their way in life.

…I just doomed us all, didn’t I? (I expect a creator credit and an associate producer credit if that happens, Dan Harmon.) Read more »

“The two of you here together? Please tell me there’s an explanation that doesn’t involve the apocalypse.”

Look at that. First quote not by Chuck Bass.

You know that couple that always fights and they swear they’re better off for it? Or that group of friends that all gossip behind each other’s backs but are closer than anyone else you know? Some people just work that way. “Frenemies” I believe they are referred to as but I dare not use the term out of self-respect and the respect for those of you reading this. That’s how the relationships on Gossip Girl work. They thrive on the dysfunctional. This Ocean’s Eleven style episode showed us just how much they need it (and how much we love to see it).

No event in recent Gossip Girl history has brought this many members of the main cast together for a single, delicious purpose. The heist? Prove that Dr. Holland Campbell is lying about having an affair with Rufus and expose her connection to the pills involved in the evil deeds of Doctor van der Woodsen. Under the leadership of Blair, the Upper East Side version of Danny Ocean, a master plan is concocted. Chuck, Jenny, Nate and even Dan all have their parts to play to put things right. Huh. Crashing rich parties for the sake of helping people. Maybe it’s a little Robin Hood too. I declare this review to be an OUTLAAAAWWW!! Read more »