Monsters of Television

“Aha! So it’s not just a guy thing.”

Pete’s planning on having a romantic, sex filled weekend with Kelly. Myka is attending her high school reunion. But a run in with an artifact (griffin bookends owned by Robert Louis Stevenson) has them switching bodies and switching lives. With the premise that Warehouse 13 has it was only a matter of time until a body switching episode showed up. The possibilities of such an episode are endlessly amusing but, while fun, “Merge with Caution” played it relatively easy.

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“I’m a faery? How fucking lame.”

My thoughts exactly, Sookie.

The faery’s out of the bag. The mystery behind “What is Sookie Stackhouse?” has been revealed and I’ve gotta say it’s pretty fucking stupid. I mean like “Who’s on the list?” and “Who’s Claire’s dad?” and every other Heroes mystery reveal stupid. A telepath with some sweet powers was enough of an explanation for me but when they started teasing there was more to Sookie than that I was pretty pumped for what the true source of her power was. All I was left thinking after this episode was “What the Puck?”.

That’s why her blood tastes so good. That’s why she has the powers that she does. That’s why everyone finds her so irresistible. Blah blah faery fuckin’ blah. I don’t know why the introduction of faeries to a show that includes vampires, werewolves, shifters, maenads, etc. upsets me so much but it does. It really does.

And it’s that terribly disappointing intro that set the tone for a somewhat meh overall episode. Even putting the faery business aside (which was very hard to do) “I Smell a Rat” sure smelled a lot worse than just a sewer dwelling rodent.

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” … because you broke your own rules.”

Speeding motorcycle.

Maybe it’s just because I watched the entire Extras series again recently but this episode kind of reminded me of a dramatic version of that episode of When the Whistle Blows when the Japanese corporate representative came into the factory. It was a bunch of white people cramming to figure out how to woo a high-powered, very traditional Japanese contingent while “the entertainment” did nothing but awkwardly offend said contingent.

Was Roger ‘aving a laugh?

Of course not. This is Mad Men afterall, where no one with a large part in the episode is allowed to smile, laugh, or enjoy themselves. For that, you have to become background (see Peggy riding a motorcycle in circles). Not only is that true of the series but it’s especially true of this episode, one the draws almost exclusively on concepts of shame and embarrassment as well as honor and loyalty. There were scenes this week that were so awkward, I was reminded heavily of a Ricky Gervais work where I constantly yell “shut up just shut up now!” at the television.

In related news, somehow, Betty has been upgraded from horrible mother to absolute fiend.

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“You missed a button.”

If you’ve been struggling with Rubicon then last week’s episode was probably a breath of fresh of air for you. The pacing picked up a little bit, and some of the characters surrounding Will were developed more. With “Connect the Dots,” it seems like the change in showrunners has taken a firm root within the show now, as the past two episodes are only vaguely like the first three in terms of aesthetics and pacing.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the changes that are in play with the show. Most, I suspect, will say they are for the better, but I feel a bit sad that it’s been two episodes now and I’ve barely had any of Will staring at a wall for 3 minutes straight. I miss it already. Read more »

“That’s exactly what we look like.”

Shawn ages horribly.

I have a feeling the title of this post is going to get me a lot of spam. Maybe I should have titled it “v1agra.”

It appears that Season 5 is going to be the one that the show rife with references to myriad media properties and pop-culture-historical artifacts is going to start toying with its own mythology and reference itself. Ushered in by last season’s finale with one of the few times a legacy viewer has been rewarded (Yang to S3 finale’s Yin), S5 has already had an episode where characters make fun of Shawn’s “I have a clue” face (“Not Even Close … Encounters”), this episode exposing the dynamics of Shawnngus with versions of themselves 30 years aged, and then, coming after the hiatus, It’s a Wonderful Life gets the Psych treatment in December.

What results is this show actually rewarding long-time viewers. Okay, not necessarily long-time viewers but an audience that has seen at least a handful of episodes. While Psych is generally an esoteric show in its extensive knowledge of pop-culture, we’re starting to see some jokes where the punchline is purely for long-time viewers. And they land.

Mark of a good series is able manipulation using its own mythology. Right?

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“Oh, has the definition of killer changed a bunch since the 1890s cause, H.G., you killed a guy!”

Finally! Claudia is now an agent! Well…apprentice as everyone keeps reminding her. So on her first mission she’s going to do her best to live up to the job title. It’s important to her. Being an agent is important to everyone. “For the Team” gave us a look at what being an agent means to everyone. Including H.G Wells.

What’s that? Start with Claudia? Don’t mind if I do.

It’s no secret that Claudia’s been dying to be more than just a desk jockey (although a mighty fine desk jockey she makes) and she’s finally given her chance. With Pete still forbidden from field duty after the events of last week’s “Around the Bend” (mind control and hallucinations are a bitch), Claudia accompanies Myka on a mission to a college where members of the wrestling time are lighting up. Not marijuana mind you, they are spontaneously combusting.

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“You must not think I have an honest bone.”

If you want to look extra condescending, you have to give big eyes.

You have to be happy White Collar came around when it did rather than a few years ago when the country was gripped by No Limit Hold ‘Em television (later remarked by several as the end of a varied game weekly poker night). You couldn’t flip a channel without seeing some poor schlub taking his cards too seriously, wearing Blu-Blockers and iPod earbuds to hide his tells, or some minor celebrity shuffling his or her chips for charity. I would imagine with the weight media outlets were throwing behind the game, we would see confidence man Neal Caffrey slumped behind a card table far more than we do now. And it’s just not where he belongs.

Clearly, that place is finding excuses to take his shirt off for visitors.

The stuff with Not-Dead Kate is starting to come to a simmer (though a lukewarm one if that’s possible) and we get an interesting nuance in the idea of criminality in the White Collar gaze. Apparently the “heart of gold” status extends further than just to prostitutes in the Old West.

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“I was Charles freaking in Charge.”

“Let’s agree to never do anything worthwhile ever again. I’ll have ‘Ferg-face’ and you’ll have ‘Whoa’ — forever and ever.”

There’s a line we commonly use here when we review a brand new series: pilots are hard. And it’s true. So much context to establish, characters to force a connection with, so many ways that first impression of a storyworld can go wrong and turn an audience off. Building something special within the ever-withering allotted time for a show on ad-supported television can be a vexing, horrifying, story-crushing experience. It’s a cutthroat world and we don’t envy any of them the task.

But I have never watched a show where the people involved obviously hated their jobs so much.

Backstory for those of you who don’t watch Gilmore Girl re-runs every day (I’ve seen the entire season about three times in the past two years) and aren’t particularly in the know of all things ABC Family: a while back Joseph “Whoa” Lawrence and Melissa “Explains It All” Joan-Hart starred in an ABC original movie called My Fake Fiance that shattered all kinds of ratings records for the network. Mind you, this is a network just recently burgeoning with original series (Secret Life of the American Teenager, Make It or Break It, etc) and, just a few years ago, was the home mostly to just Full House reruns. I’m just saying the bar probably wasn’t all that high. Viewers ate the movie up and remarked at the chemistry shared between the two leads. So ABC Family decided to capitalize on the stalling careers of the beached sit-com talent. The press release even used the word “manny” to make sure everyone knew how hip and smart they were.

What they came up with was a derivative plot driven by cliche sit-com tropes (you could have made bingo cards) and lies. So many lies.

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“Bet you never saw this coming.”

Oh, sure, he can figure who the father is.

Talking about the whole episode seems a little bit pointless, but since the entire episode (and of course the other episodes) were building to this. Indeed, as I told Ms. Monster of Television (girlfriend, not wife), deadlines are a key way to create suspense, and they do a terrific job in this episode. But they also constantly remind you that you’re so close yet so far to finding out who Moriarty is. And that can be infuriating.

Solving  the bombing cases was a pretty obvious ploy, a distraction (as Ms. Monster of Television figured out before I did), but the ploy makes for both an exciting and tiring episode, and with all that that entails. Countdowns and ticking clocks make for easy suspense (we’ve been using them for how long now?), and you pile it on with multiple micro-cases that allows us one last glimpse into how smart Sherlock is, the episode chugs along at a very pleasant pace (unlike “The Blind Banker”), but the deadlines and bombs and the cases make the episode feel a bit overstuffed (there’s clearly no pleasing me, is there?). Read more »

“Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals. We will eat you. After we eat your children. Now time for the weather. Tiffany.”

Everything is broken indeed.

As Russell ‘s plans continue to move forward, with more rage now due to the murder of his beloved Talbot, things aren’t looking so great for a whole lot of people. Even those in story lines only vaguely (or not at all) connected to the overall “Russell’s bid for ultimate power and dominance over humans” aren’t having such a good time right now. Makes sense. With only three episodes left in the season things have got to get even worse for our characters before they can get better. But do they ever really get better? Bon Temps is kind of a shitty place to live what with all the drug trafficking, evil orgies, murder and the like occurring on a regular basis.

But it makes for good TV. And in the end that’s all that matters.

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