Monsters of Television

“Nothing’s going to get that taste out of my mouth.”

Aw, yeah. It’s the summer and, here it is: a podcast slightly transformed. Just a bit of break from the norm — in that Matt couldn’t make it so we’re a beast short. Karen, Nick, and Noel make do, though, by giving some serious discussion to the all set-up Game of Thrones season finale and the much ballyhooed ender to The Killing while tossing around some Lost references in Matt’s honor. Then we look at some summer programming and shrug our shoulders at it because it’s summer and we’re not supposed to take summer programming seriously. Right? That’s why television’s the way it is right now. Right? Riiiiight. So just sit back and unwind.

Here’s the blog post we mention a couple of times from @ErikaJL simply titled “Sansa.”

Running time: 77 minutes

• Game of Thrones season finale: 0:01:24
• The Killing season finale: 0:30:50
• Wilfred: 0:42:10
• Louie: 0:48:03
• Suits: 0:54:30
• Walking Skies Falling Skies: 1:00:01
• Love Bites: 1:05:29
• The Voice: 1:11:40

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“I bet that was the first time Human Target has ever trended on Twitter … those seven people were really upset about it.”

Where’s podcast 13, you ask? Well, think of it like how buildings don’t have thirteenth floors because it’s bad luck. That should distract you from the real reason: Nick got lazy and didn’t cut the last recording. When the Monsters of Television album drops, I’ll make Podcast 13 (and all the others resigned to a similar fate) the secret track for you.

Another secret track on that album? Some of the stuff that was left on the cutting room floor for this podcast. So much to talk about and so little time to do it in. FOX hacked its schedule to shreds this week, canceling just about everything, even putting House on notice for a final season. We stare down the barrel of the upfronts and tell you about what we’ll miss, what we’re looking forward to, and what we’re already cringing about. We also talk a lot of television from the past week, mostly the usual suspects. So go ahead and indulge yourself with this week’s podcast. Learn something. And try to forget about ol’ scary number thirteen.

Running time: 72 minutes

• FOX Bloodbath
  • Chicago Code: 0:00:22
  • Breaking In:0:04:33
• Chuck: 0:10:02
• Wonder Woman: 0:11:42
• Charlie’s Angels: 0:12:58
• FOX Bloodbath – Sepinwall Post: 0:15:24
• NBC PIckups: 0:17:32
• Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea: 0:18:19
• Ashton Kutcher and Two and a Half Men: 0:19:15
• S#*! My Dad Says Cancelled: 0:22:10
• ABC Pickups: 0:22:28
• Damon Wayans, Jr and Happy Endings: 0:26:11
• CW Renewals: 0:27:49
• Smallville: 0:28:15
• Ringer: 0:31:06
• Gossip Girl: 0:33:25
• Game of Thrones: 0:40:20
• The Office: 0:53:40
• Community: 0:55:41
• This Week’s Finales: 1:08:10

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“Because I will Tritter tangent forever.”

After a brief hiatus (has it been two months already?), we have a brand new podcast. We talk about all kinds of stuff like the NBC Thursday Night lineup (natch), our varied interest in Game of Thrones, the return of Thirteen to House (and why she’s important even if people hate her character), and all veritable sundry of other items. It’s really pretty good. You should get on that. Also, notice how Nick hates it when anyone gets together on a show. Does he hate love? Is he a robot? Who are we to say? It’s half the fun. Enjoy our sing-song voices.

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“You’re an OG Hater.”

Mark it down, folks. 3/4 of the Monsters of Television (sorry, Matt) kick off a podcast with sports. This week saw the most watched television broadcast of all time, Super Bowl XLV. Nick muses about his (World Champion) Green Bay Packers and they all discuss pre-game, half-time, and post-game Glee, as well as a number of other shows from this week, including Being Human and the pilot for Chicago Code. Check it out. And while you listen to that, I’m going to check out Sarah Walker bellydancing again.

Also, in case you’ve never seen the Cosby Show clip Noel references during the Community segment, you really should check it out.

Topic: Place in the podcast

Running time: 71 minutes

• Super Bowl XLV 0:00:51
• Glee: 0:19:10
• Chuck: 0:29:35
• The Office: 0:33:58
• Community: 0:40:16
• The Good Wife: 0:49:39
• Being Human: 0:58:28
• Chicago Code: 1:03:02

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“Glee doing Michael Jackson is worse than Michael Jackson being a child molester.”

Even with not a whole lot going on (and down one partner in crime), the gentlemen discuss the week that was. I wish there was more I could say here but you really just have to listen to the podcast. I will say, though, that if you’re not caught up on How I Met Your Mother or Lost, you should probably get up to speed before listening or you might get — well, lost. Some items to help you with HIMYM references: The Gentleman, Slap Bet, A Gentlemen’s Agreement, Challenge Accepted. If you haven’t watched Lost — well, what are you doing here in the first place?

Topic: Place in the podcast

Running time: 64 minutes

• How I Met Your Mother (episode 0614): 0:01:22
• House: 0:07:38
• Chuck: 0:15:41
• Fairly Legal: 0:25:28
• CW Scheduling: 0:37:08
• The Office: 0:39:58
• 30 Rock: 0:45:32
• Parks & Recreation: 0:49:08
• The Rest of NBC Thursday: 0:50:11
• Downton Abbey: 0:52:31
• Showtime Programming: 0:52:38
• Cable news coverage of Egyptian unrest: 0:54:34

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“Are you uncomfortable with emotions, Noel?”

Much like the Force and those pesky dogs at the Hollywood Farmers’ Market coddled by their people-aggressive owners, Noel got a little unleashed here at about the 1:04:07 mark. Sure, we talk about other stuff like the Golden Globe/SAG award nominations, some TV for this week, and the mid-season series hitting the networks next month but we like it when Noel has a chance to go off on the mockumentary style (which has been committed to the public record earlier) because it’s so rare to see (or hear even) Noel get all up in arms.

So listen to the other stuff, too, because it’s good (despite Matt not being able to hang with us) but prepare to crack a smile just past the hour mark.

Running Time: 69 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• Golden Globes/SAG Award Nominations: 0:00:43
  • Neil Patrick Harris: 0:19:01
• The Good Wife: 0:21:31
• Psych: 0:33:56
• Mid-Season Shows
  • FX: 0:40:14
  • NBC: 0:43:43
  • FOX: 0:55:48
  • ABC: 0:58:29
  • Showtime: 1:01:11

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“Television would lead me to believe that Miami is the worst place in the entire world.”

And television wouldn’t lie to us, would it? This week we discuss the disappointing The Walking Dead finale (in spite of Noah Emmerich’s presence), the holiday-themed episodes we watched this past week, a little CW, a little TNT, and a lot of Dexter. So hop aboard the Polar Express, mind the pterodactyl and the Christmas Attack Zones, and let’s talk it out. Or at least let us talk it out at you.

Running Time: 75 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• The Walking Dead: 0:00:27
• Gossip Girl: 0:22:08
• Life Unexpected: 0:30:14
• Holiday Episodes
  • Community: 0:33:37
  • The Office: 0:44:03
  • Glee: 0:47:55
  • Warehouse 13: 0:52:35
• The Closer/TNT Line-Up: 0:56:32
• Dexter: 1:02:10

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“I just hope it has nothing to do with a music box.”

Though we here at Monsters of Television might be pegged as pessimistic, sarcastic, snarky snobs, we can be positive every once in a while and we are with the upcoming season finale of The Walking Dead and the as-yet-unannounced return of Terriers. Less so for Serena on Gossip Girl and whatever the heck Chuck is doing (though let’s stop worrying about Emmy4Yvonne and jump on Timothy Dalton’s sure-bet Emmy win for this season). We also discuss auteur theory in respect to showrunners and featured episode writers (because we’re smarty-pantses), why Community might’ve felt weird and why that’s an awesome thing, and how now is the time to be watching Top Chef: All-Stars even if you’ve never watched an episode of Top Chef. Which would be a crime because of all the meals you missed them cooking. Yes. Because of the meals.

We also hint about the Terriers finale, beating around the bush as to not reveal anything to those that are waiting the absurdly long 8 days to watch it on Hulu. If that’s you, you can also drop the $1.99 at Amazon and watch it now.

Editor’s note: Noel wants to credit Kate Tripoli for planting the Firefly/The Walking Dead seed in his head. It was all her connection. He just agreed with it.

Running Time: 70 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• Walking Dead
  • Industry/”Writer Shake-Up”: 0:00:31
  • Episode: 0:10:16
  • Possible Comic Book Spoiler Alert: 0:18:52
• Terriers: 0:21:55
• Community: 0:31:48
• Gossip Girl: 0:42:18
• Chuck: 0:52:24
• Top Chef: All-Stars: 0:59:09

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“Challenges WHAT?”

These week on the podcast, we mull over the implications of the NBC and Fox midseason shakeups as well as some of the shows we wish weren’t on the brink of cancellation (real or imagined), a recap of some recent food television, and, of course, discussions of the shows we’re watching. Hit us with a comment if you have something to tag on (and you should) and enjoy the sweet sounds of our lovely voices.

Notes: • During the food television segments, Matt and Nick tried out the mute function on Skype. It didn’t work. Sorry. • Nick makes references to multiple properties throughout the podcast that are not only telling of his age but also are sometimes so esoteric some readers/listeners might not quite get how hilarious he is. To that point, submitted for your education is a hint of (Family) Double Dare and a dash of Hello Again with a smidge of Emily Quartermaine (from last week’s podcast).

Running Time: 77 minutes

Topics: Place in the Podcast

• Walking Dead: 0:00:39
• Terriers: 0:09:23
  • The Good Wife: 0:16:13
  • Rubicon: 0:18:18
• NBC Midseason Shakeup: 0:21:01
• Fox Midseason Shakeup: 0:35:24
• Fringe: 0:40:38
• Top Chef: Just Desserts: 0:49:04
• Top Chef: All-Stars: 0:57:17
• Private Practice: 1:00:40
• No Ordinary Family: 1:07:23
• The Cape: 1:11:40
• In Treatment: 1:12:23

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