Monsters of Television

“I mean wasn’t that the point of us bein’ rappers? So we didn’t have to get a job!”

Never before have I laughed so hard while simultaneously being terrified for my future. The many facets of the entertainment industry are constantly changing. The focus seems to change between a focus on the artistic and a focus on business. The Boondocks certainly seems to think business rules in the music industry right now. And they beat up poor Otis “Thugnificent” Jackson to prove that very point.

The rap reign of Thugnificent is over. His peak 4 years ago (40 years in rapper time) has flat-lined. So how to stay relevant? First: use auto-tuner on every song on your new album. “It let’s you sing even if you can’t sing!” Jay-Z would be less than thrilled. Riley certainly was. He’d rather hear the new number one track by young up-and-comer Sgt. Gudda, an obvious knock to Soulja Boy, the poster child for commercially constructed personalities.So the old originality game isn’t working. Auto-tuner didn’t work. Only thing left is to adapt someone else’s style. But his dance is nowhere near as trend setting as that of his younger rival. Read more »

“This is your lucky day kid. The big break most people only dream about. You get to write a story with Perry White.”

Smallville decided to get all philosophical on us this episode and talk a lot about purpose. We all know the Clark’s purpose is to protect the Earth, one day (although we’ll never see it on the show) as Superman. But what of our other characters? What drives them? What gives their lives meaning? “Hostage” broke down and had Lois, Chloe, and a few guest surprises reflecting on their lives and looking for direction.

Lois Lane is more than just the love of Clark Kent’s life. She is a strong, witty, inquisitive, award-winning journalist. Or at least she will be. Right now she’s unemployed and trying to figure her life out. She believes the only way to do this is to find her own way. No Clark. No Blur. So when Perry White comes back into town (last seen in “Perry”) Lois jumps at the chance to help him with his latest scoop. Perry’s hunting down Checkmate and the Red Queen. The chemistry between Durance and McKean is amazing. I definitely want to see more of this duo in the future. The two catch a glimpse of the Red Queen and track her down. During a chase Perry slips and finds himself hanging from a dangling fire escape. “Great Caesar’s ghost!” he exclaims, music to any Perry White fans ears. Lois helps Perry up and even though the Red Queen escapes, she counts it as a victory. Perry wants Lois to accompany him to Nairobi on another Checkmate lead but she says she’s fine now. She just needed to find the hero in herself, to see that she could do good on her own. Read more »

“Judge away. Shame turns me on.”

Mother’s Day is just around the corner (May 9th. Don’t forget!), but Gossip Girl decides to give us an episode focusing on the struggles of paternal relationships. Father figures on the show fall in many different areas of the support spectrum and the effects of their actions have been the catalysts for many of the shows plot points, especially in this current season.

William van der Woodsen has been on the show for two episodes and has already brought a shit storm down on the Upper East Side. It’s now wide out in the open that he’s gunning for his rightful place as Daddy Dearest in the van der Woodsen home and he’ll get it anyway he can. And Serena’s going to help him do it. Of course she is, she’s daddy’s little girl. She finally has the opportunity to forge a real relationship with her father, something she’s wanted forever, and she’s gonna make the best of it. She even admits: “I love Rufus, but you’re my dad. He’s not.” So Serena invites William to family brunch. And for late night hot chocolate. And uninvited Rufus to the gala. Subtly, thy name sure as hell ain’t Serena van der Woodsen. Read more »

“Krypton will rise again. And all humankind will kneel before Zod.”

Season 9 has been one very long crawl to an endgame that we all know is coming. Chloe, Oliver, the audience. Everyone knows Zod is evil and that Clark is gonna have to man up and kick his ass. As lines become drawn and the endgame creeps nearer, Superman-to-be may finally be catching up to everyone else. And he’s the one with the super speed.

This episode took a very “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” approach to relationship forging between the characters. Old rivals and foes having to sacrifice their pride and set aside their differences for a grater goal. We saw Chloe and Tess working together to break out of a lock-down at Watchtower and escape the clutches of Checkmate’s White Knight.What began as a Tess Mercer attempt at data thievery turned into a very sexy remake of Panic Room. While the two ladies had to team up to break out as Checkmate bared down on them, that didn’t stop them from tossing the usual witty quips at one another. Chloe won for the night: “I knew you were the Kandorians lapdog but I didn’t know you were Zod’s little bitch too.” But at the end of the day, an uneasy alliance between the two was formed. How long will that last? Read more »

“You look like hell.”

“Small price to pay when you feel like heaven.”

Thank Gossip Girl! In a season full of stagnation and relationships that no one seems to care about, “Dr. Estrangeloved” was a return to the glory days of season 1. We saw some of our favorite characters reappear in their true forms, reminding us of why we fell in love with them, and the show, in the first place.

No return to form was more satisfying than that of smirky, bow-tie enthusiast Chuck Bass. After his break up with Blair, he has once again embraced his inner mother Chucker. Read more »