Monsters of Television

“I’m a faery? How fucking lame.”

My thoughts exactly, Sookie.

The faery’s out of the bag. The mystery behind “What is Sookie Stackhouse?” has been revealed and I’ve gotta say it’s pretty fucking stupid. I mean like “Who’s on the list?” and “Who’s Claire’s dad?” and every other Heroes mystery reveal stupid. A telepath with some sweet powers was enough of an explanation for me but when they started teasing there was more to Sookie than that I was pretty pumped for what the true source of her power was. All I was left thinking after this episode was “What the Puck?”.

That’s why her blood tastes so good. That’s why she has the powers that she does. That’s why everyone finds her so irresistible. Blah blah faery fuckin’ blah. I don’t know why the introduction of faeries to a show that includes vampires, werewolves, shifters, maenads, etc. upsets me so much but it does. It really does.

And it’s that terribly disappointing intro that set the tone for a somewhat meh overall episode. Even putting the faery business aside (which was very hard to do) “I Smell a Rat” sure smelled a lot worse than just a sewer dwelling rodent.

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“Oh, has the definition of killer changed a bunch since the 1890s cause, H.G., you killed a guy!”

Finally! Claudia is now an agent! Well…apprentice as everyone keeps reminding her. So on her first mission she’s going to do her best to live up to the job title. It’s important to her. Being an agent is important to everyone. “For the Team” gave us a look at what being an agent means to everyone. Including H.G Wells.

What’s that? Start with Claudia? Don’t mind if I do.

It’s no secret that Claudia’s been dying to be more than just a desk jockey (although a mighty fine desk jockey she makes) and she’s finally given her chance. With Pete still forbidden from field duty after the events of last week’s “Around the Bend” (mind control and hallucinations are a bitch), Claudia accompanies Myka on a mission to a college where members of the wrestling time are lighting up. Not marijuana mind you, they are spontaneously combusting.

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“Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals. We will eat you. After we eat your children. Now time for the weather. Tiffany.”

Everything is broken indeed.

As Russell ‘s plans continue to move forward, with more rage now due to the murder of his beloved Talbot, things aren’t looking so great for a whole lot of people. Even those in story lines only vaguely (or not at all) connected to the overall “Russell’s bid for ultimate power and dominance over humans” aren’t having such a good time right now. Makes sense. With only three episodes left in the season things have got to get even worse for our characters before they can get better. But do they ever really get better? Bon Temps is kind of a shitty place to live what with all the drug trafficking, evil orgies, murder and the like occurring on a regular basis.

But it makes for good TV. And in the end that’s all that matters.

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“Just because you say you’re retiring doesn’t mean you’re retiring. You could be like Jay-Z and come back like a couple of months later.”

Is this the end? The season three finale of The Boondocks could very well be the last episode of the show. Going into it with that in mind, there are many reasons why this not only felt like a series finale, but was a very appropriate one at that. Agent Jack Bauer Flowers is after Huey in connection with an impending terrorist attack in Woodcrest. What follows is an action movie inspired, 24 spoof episode utilizing characters and elements all related to our favorite ten-year-old terrorist: Huey Freeman.

The White Shadow (John C. McGinley) makes a much appreciated reappearance to warn Huey that his paranoia is finally merited. Men with guns are coming for him despite the fact that he has retired from the anti-establishment game. Huey’s planning and paranoia were a subject touched on a few episodes ago in “Fried Chicken Flu” but this put it in arenas more suited for Huey’s know-how. Instead of a zombie invasion like scenario he was finally placed right in the middle of a large conspiracy. Ed and Rummy are planning on blowing up Wuncler Plaza in connection with a new scheme by Ed Sr. and Huey is set up to take the fall for it.

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“I’m bored. Take off your clothes.”

Oh my.

The sex and violence contained in the last 10 minutes of “Night on the Sun” alone should be enough to convert any former nonbeliever. The beauty of it (besides all the naked bodies) is it’s not just for spectacle. There is shock value, sure, but there’s real story progression and character development behind it. And probably the most unbelievable part of it: it made Sookie likable. For 10 minutes anyway.

Let’s be honest: Sookie sucks. She’s whiny and stubborn and impossibly, idiotically impulsive. However, this season has managed to do a great job in getting characters and the audience alike to really want to know what the hell she is. While I too find myself staring up at my ceiling as I lie in bed on Sundays night pondering “Just what are you, Sookie Stackhouse?” it doesn’t make me like her as a character. Put a pair of scissors and a shotgun in her hands and then she gets a little more interesting.

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“I bet it’s your brother! I knew I should have abandoned him at the mall when I had the chance.”

Earlier in the season The Boondocks gave us its take on Asian cinema with “The Red Ball” and now we are treated to an apocalyptic episode with “Fried Chicken Flu”. Besides being an excellent take on the genre, this episode allowed the show to do a few things that had been noticeably absent from this season as a whole. Most notably would be the focus on Huey and his conspiracy theory personality traits.

There have been a few Huey centric episodes this season but none have hit at the heart of Huey’s character much like this one. Even before the flu breaks out, Huey is hard at work building a generator in the garage, preparing for the survival of whatever imminent disaster is heading his way. Jazmine marvels (as she so lovingly does) at Huey’s drive and comments on how smart he is. She has always been the only character to really appreciate Huey’s radical beliefs and ideas. Until trouble starts anyway.

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“I know what texting is. Also iTunes and color television.”

A very relevant Twitter conversation took place between Nick, Noel and myself yesterday on the troubles of fandom and criticism. Analyzing a popular text as anything but godly is often met with harsh opposition from said text’s fan community. That makes this review of last night’s Warehouse 13 somewhat difficult for me. I love Warehouse 13, it’s probably my favorite new addition to my television roster as of late, but “Age Before Beauty” has some points that should be addressed. And they’re not pretty.

“Age Before Beauty” is a very Myka and Claudia (hooray!) centric episode. While Myka and Pete track down an artifact that is sapping the youth from fashion models, Claudia prepares for her date with Todd, the hardware store kid from last week’s “Beyond Our Control”. This episode was poised to be a great girl-power sort of story but that is not what unfurled. Instead we get a (what I will deem as accidentally) misogynistic view of our lead female characters running to their male counter parts with their problems and insecurities. I sure hope no one from the Syfy message boards is reading this…

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“Please don’t kill me, I’m pregnant. That probably just makes you want to eat me even more.”

True Blood has always been a show about character. First and foremost. Set in a mostly realistic world, the season storylines have always been more about how it paints parallels to the real world and the way it affects the characters. While this season overall is about power struggles between vampire kingdoms and between races of supernatural beings, it really comes down to character which in essence means it’s about people. As the stakes are being raised, both literally and figuratively, “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues” showed us that emotions run high even when you’re dead and vampires aren’t necessarily the epitome of perfection.

Greed, love and jealousy aren’t just emotions reserved for humans. It seems that even in living forever these feelings do as well. With every week we learn more and more how crazy Franklin is but it’s also apparent why he is the way he is. He’s said his work is his life, he doesn’t have much time for himself or relationships. Is that not something a lot of us can relate to? Sure, it doesn’t excuse kidnapping Tara and riding her every word and action as obsessively as he does, but he gets what’s coming to him as Tara puts an escape plan into action which involves drinking Franklin’s blood and bashing his skull in with a mace.

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“What if they tell me I only have a month to live? That would totally ruin the rest of this month for me.”

Ah modern medicine. Nowadays you can take a pill or a shot or a laser treatment for just about everything. But all that can get awfully expensive. According to Thugnificent (nice to see you back prominently in an episode, dawg) the ultimate panacea for all that ails you is ganja. Reefer. Mary Jane. Hemp. Nuggies. Skunk. That’s right: a Boondocks episode all about weed.

Now before we go and get all racist, this isn’t an episode just about a bunch of black people sitting around smoking weed and neglecting to pay their child support. It’s a satire of the pharmaceutical companies as well as a push for the legalization of marijuana. May the state of California and those kids that lived down the hall from me in college rejoice.

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“I’m a vampire, not a fucking idiot.”

HBO didn’t air a new episode of True Blood last Sunday. I guess they don’t think vampires are American enough. They divvy up land how they see fit, feel vastly superior to all others around them and suck the blood of others for sustenance. Sounds pretty American to me.

After a week off, things seem to be vamping amping up quite quickly. A third of the season is over and done with and with as many character and story convergences “9 Crimes” gave us, that fan is gonna be covered in shit for quite some time. Is that to say everything going on is interesting? Not necessarily right now. But there is oh so much potential. Except for Tara. My god, just kill her already.

In a scene we’ve all been waiting for since watching (and rewatching and rewatching) the season three promo, Bill breaks up with Sookie. He tells her he doesn’t want to be found and tells Sookie (and reminds the audience) of the crazy vampire sex he and Lorena had. Of course this is all so Sookie won’t come looking for him and he can keep her safe while he deals with Lorena and Russell. But he should know better than that as this only makes Sookie want to find him more.

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