Monsters of Television

As part of the new fall season coverage, we’re doing what we call audition reviews for new shows. An audition review doesn’t necessarily mean the show will enter the normal rotation, but it will provide an initial reaction to a new series. Especially in light of time shifting practices, we think this is a valuable way to read brief reviews on new series to help you decide if you want to watch the show. For those who watch it live, it’s a good way to begin a conversation about a new series. These reviews will typically be shorter than our regular reviews, and may include thoughts from more than one of our writers.

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As part of the new fall season coverage, we’re doing what we call audition reviews for new shows. An audition review doesn’t necessarily mean the show will enter the normal rotation, but it will provide an initial reaction to a new series. Especially in light of time shifting practices, we think this is a valuable way to read brief reviews on new series to help you decide if you want to watch the show. For those who watch it live, it’s a good way to begin a conversation about a new series. These reviews will typically be shorter than our regular reviews, and may include thoughts from more than one of our writers.

Matt’s Take

Oh boy.

Short and sweet. Well, short and sour. This show is not good. I wanted it to be. I love Keri Russell and I love Will Arnett and I wanted nothing more for the two of them to have a triumphant return to television. But this isn’t it.

There are jokes, you can tell where they are, they’re just not funny. The premise is forgettable, the supporting cast is unimpressive, it’s just a mess all around.

That’s all. I’m gonna go drown my sorrows in Felicity and Arrested Development episodes now.

As part of the new fall season coverage, we’re doing what we call audition reviews for new shows. An audition review doesn’t necessarily mean the show will enter the normal rotation, but it will provide an initial reaction to a new series. Especially in light of time shifting practices, we think this is a valuable way to read brief reviews on new series to help you decide if you want to watch the show. For those who watch it live, it’s a good way to begin a conversation about a new series. These reviews will typically be shorter than our regular reviews, and may include thoughts from more than one of our writers.

The Event is the newest super-mystery show aiming to take over LOST‘s role as the hot mythology show on broadcast network TV. Interlocking characters, ambiguous questions and motivations, time out of joint (narratively speaking anyway). Oh, and Luke Danes without a baseball cap. Yeah, we dare you to recognize him without it, too.

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“There is no more Chuck Bass.”

Good thing this isn’t entirely true or I would have to throw myself off the Eiffel Tower.

Chuck pulled a Serena and attempted to reinvent himself by running away from his issues. Ok, so he got shot, was rescued by a beautiful girl and attempted to start a new life with her under a fake identity. Not exactly the same as just running away but it’s close enough. After losing the only thing (person actually) he ever really loved, he turned his back on everything and everyone else. But it’s a small world after all and even after fleeing to Paris he was forced to face his problems.

Literally.

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“She’s a tech nerd, she’s one hundred and fifty and you’re…Myka. Not exactly relationship success stories.”

This penultimate (not including the standalone Christmas) episode had quite a bit of foreshadowing. And some less subtle hints at things to come in the finale and beyond. It also featured some universe building, character development and witty dialogue. Anyone who thinks Syfy can’t become a top notch original programming channel without the aid of Battlestar Galactica is sadly mistaken.

Was anyone else’s heart racing when Claudia was named caretaker of Warehouse 13? If not you may wanna check your pulse.

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“Cinderella did not Google Prince Charming.”

Oh la la. What a comeback.

Following the amazing finale of season 3, Gossip Girl managed to keep the momentum over the course of its summer hiatus. A lot has changed over the summer but in a way a lot has stayed the same. Old problems and relationships have come back with some very new and delicious complications.

After all they’ve been through you would think Blair and Serena would actually be best friends instead of that terrible overused term I refuse to say. The jealousy and the fighting and the cattiness should have disappeared. It did for a while. But did you really think that a summer in Paris would be drama free for these two?

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“I have never loved, nor will I ever love, as I have loved you”

With a show as cliffhanger heavy as True Blood it can be hard to obtain the usual shock value of hanging story lines that most season finales contain. This episode proved that. Actually this episode proved a lot of things that have become very apparent in the third season of the show. Some characters obviously don’t matter anymore. Some characters just cannot have good stories. The line between intriguing and absurdity in the supernatural world is very, very thin.

True Blood has changed a lot in three years. But in many ways it’s stayed the same. Both are problematic. Many of the events of the finale are able to be applied to the problems of the characters and the series as wholes. It’s awfully meta. And far more interesting to think about than the episode (and more and more the show) itself.

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She's brunette! So you can tell she's not the lead. Seriously. Blonde=lead.

As part of the new fall season coverage, we’re doing what we call audition reviews for new shows. An audition review doesn’t necessarily mean the show will enter the normal rotation, but it will provide an initial reaction to a new series. Especially in light of time shifting practices, we think this is a valuable way to read brief reviews on new series to help you decide if you want to watch the show. For those who watch it live, it’s a good way to begin a conversation about a new series. These reviews will typically be shorter than our regular reviews, and may include thoughts from more than one of our writers.

Hellcats tells the story of Marti (Alyson Michalka), a young law student who must join her school’s competitive cheerleading squad to stay in school when her scholarship falls through.

Come on in as Matt and Karen engage in an epic battle over Hellcat’s honor.

Or, not so much, since they pretty much agree about everything but Ashley Tisdale…

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“Soon there will be anarchy. And then there will be me.”

Recovering from last week’s Faerygate, True Blood reminded us of evils of non-supernatural origins. In a show featuring vampires and werewolves and (fuckin’) faeries, there are still many real and terrible demons of other kinds that people have to face.

And Sam’s are coming out of the woodwork.

After a look back at Sawyer Sam’s past last week it seems it is catching up to him in a hurry. His anger issues getting the best of him, he goes on a drunken tirade, kicking all patrons out of Merlotte’s and insulting Terry, Arlene, Tommy and Holly.

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“Aha! So it’s not just a guy thing.”

Pete’s planning on having a romantic, sex filled weekend with Kelly. Myka is attending her high school reunion. But a run in with an artifact (griffin bookends owned by Robert Louis Stevenson) has them switching bodies and switching lives. With the premise that Warehouse 13 has it was only a matter of time until a body switching episode showed up. The possibilities of such an episode are endlessly amusing but, while fun, “Merge with Caution” played it relatively easy.

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