Monsters of Television

“Alright Alice, where’s the rabbit hole outta here?”

About time this show came back. We were left with quite the cliffhanger when last we saw our fledgling heroes, mysteriously rendered unconscious at the funeral of Hawkman after his epic battle with Slade. In it’s return (albeit a week later than originally stated) Smallville gave us an episode about trust. And about TRON and The Matrix. Got your attention?

Turns out the VRA was waiting at Carter’s tomb, ready to ambush the heroes. They held them prisoner hooked up to some central computer that was projecting a virtual world. Essentially they had locked them in the Grid. But no worries, Chloe returns! — and this time she’s the one coming to the rescue.

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Marriage, friendship, family, work, sexual. There are many kinds of relationships. But there’s only one kind that offers all of the benefits of the aforementioned relationships in one awesome package (well, except for sexual): the bromance. There is nothing like the bond between two heterosexual men. In the past 10 years we’ve seen some prime examples of bromance at work. Let us explore them together.

10. Kenan and Kel (Kenan and Kel: 1996-2000)

Awwww here it goes! These two began their chemistry on Nickelodeon sketch comedy show All That and it spawned their own show in 1996. The pair got into all sorts of shenanigans often orchestrated by the scheming Kenan and forced awry by clumsy Kel. They are the reasons kids in the 90s thought they could mess up and get away without any real consequences. I know I used it as an excuse. But I think my parents were just happy I was watching something with black people in it. The show has a number of nostalgia inducing bits of dialogue including “Who loves orange soda?”, “I. Put the screw. In the Tuna.”, and the quote used at the beginning of this paragraph. What spelled a bright career for the duo eventually culminated in short lived film success for Kel (and rumors of his death) and a gig on Saturday Night Live for Kenan. But it’s their own show where they shined. And Coolio did their addictive theme song. That equaled some serious street cred in the 90s. Right?

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“Anna’s a lizard? That sucks. She’s so hot.”

It’s been a long time since the sky turned red (well, only 4 days in story time), but V came out swinging. Questions were answered, things were shown, lines were drawn and other nouns were verbed. Earth continues to be a planet populated mostly by idiots as the V’s plans continue and most of us keep drinking the red Kool-Aid. I prefer Ice Blue Raspberry Lemonade myself.

We got to see the V baby! And she’s so cute! Ryan only got a short time with her before being banished from the mothership. Anna plans on fueling his hatred of her to lead him to the Fifth Column (of which he’s already a main member) and destroying them from the inside. Hobbs already has reservations about his rejoining the group. Understandable seeing the extreme anger issues Ryan seems to have developed. He beat the piss out of that tracker. By the way, was anyone else thinking about this during the chase scene? It’s all I was seeing.

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“No. I never thought our friends were criminals until we made friends with criminals.”

Ok. This must be discussed before diving into the meat of the episode. I feel cheated, No Ordinary Family. Daphne’s amnesia, a super exciting possible plot development, was just an outlet for introducing potential new viewers to the concept and to the character’s powers. It’s resolved in the first 2 minutes of the episode by touching her family members and relearning everything. All of the emotional weight from the brilliant ending to “No Ordinary Sidekick” was just wasted. Cheap, No Ordinary Family. Cheap.

Now that that’s off my chest let’s talk this week. “No Ordinary Friends” introduced us to the Cotton Family. The patriarch, Dave, was saved by Jim and so a friendship between the two families was born. Jim and Steph loved the possibility of having people they could talk and relate to. Apparently they forgot about George and Katie.

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“What are sidekicks for?”

It’s hard to be a sidekick. You’re often times over-utilized and under-appreciated. You get next to none of the glory but you’re always the one to take the blame when things go wrong. Most of the time your parents are dead too so life just sucks. George and Katie both got fed up with playing second string to the Super Powells and staged a walkout.

This was only a matter of time. George getting caught picking up after Jim. But rather than being carted off to jail like any other black man would have been, he‘s praised as a hero, something that will increase the size of his nearly bald head 10 fold. And it does. Jim is not liking that George has the credit. He has to hide while George gets the glory, under the pretense of protecting Jim’s identity of course.

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“Police and parents. Of course that’s your plan, Humphrey”

This week’s episode felt like an old mystery novel. Two reluctant enemies team up to solve a crime. An old foe reappears and aids in the search. Unlikely alliances are made and old ones crumble. Questions are answered, reveals are divulged, and the criminal isn’t who you think it was all along. When every conceivable cat was brought forth from the big bag of shit that is the Humphrey/van der Woodsen’s lives, it was Lily who was the enemy. And she would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling kids. And that dog, Serena, too.

While I still despise her, I did find myself feeling bad for Serena.  So many of her mistakes are her own, but this one (and a huge one at that) was entirely on Lily. And it’s not just Serena who got screwed over. Poor Chuck is now scrambling to save Bass Industries from being sold. Hos desperation is at maximum levels as he’s turning to Jack for aid. Season 4 is the season of unlikely alliances indeed.

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“I can operate a motor vehicle. I am perfectly capable of operating a JJ.”

The team-ups continue.

Jim and Steph spend their anniversary tracking down a super-powered arsonist while JJ and Daphne have to get out of a few sticky situations reminiscent of the shenanigans the Seaver kids used to get into. The important thing to take away from this, once again, is teamwork. Dynamic Duo plus Dynamic Duo equals Fantastic Four. Steph’s involvement in this episode’s crime fighting is a significant move in that direction.

So Jim (and apparently his clothing as well) is flame retardant. Good thing since this week’s villain is a fire starter. The obvious bad guy (whom I shall henceforth refer to as “Pyro” for many obvious reasons) who started the fire looks a little…off when first we meet him. Kind of reminded me of the guy from the Fringe episode “The Plateau”.

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“What do you say we find that bitch and get us a little frontier justice?”

I don’t think I’m the right person to review this episode. I hate Serena. Hate her. And so an episode where ALL OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS are concerned for her well being does not really work for me. I do love the show though, and this was not a bad episode, so I’ll give it a go. Brace for Serena hatred, which you should come to expect by now.

I was giving thanks for everyone hating Serena at the beginning of this episode, but alas, it didn’t last. Leave it to Serena to ruin everyone’s plans and make Thanksgiving all about her. Sure, she was tricked and drugged and kidnapped by Juliet and company, but still.

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“Everyone says that internet dating is, like, for geeky, socially awkward types, but I meet a lot of people just like me.”

Yes this was a fairly George centric episode. Yes this dealt with a great story in which he had to decide against putting away a mob lieutenant and protecting Jim’s secret. Yes he was given a love interest. But the crowning moments of this episode had to deal with JJ and Katie, both as individuals and in stories with one another.

I’ve said it before and I’m sure this won’t be the last time I say it: Katie is the best character on the show. She fills the role of audience informant very well with her explanations of things, she fills the nerd quota with her constant (and amazing) comic book references and she fills the “lust” role as Daphne is too young and Stephanie is in a committed relationship (even though both are still admittedly beautiful). “No Ordinary Mobster” shows Katie getting more involved in the show not only with the Powells but with the seasonal arc as well.

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“It’s Robin Sparkles 3, ya’ll!”

I was just as excited to hear these words as Ted and company were.

Callbacks are something that How I Met Your Mother does extremely well. The show features some of the best recurring jokes and characters such as “Challenge Accepted”, Robin Sparkles and Slap Bet, the latter two making reappearances in this episode. It’s not just the humor that makes HIMYM the best comedy on TV right now, it’s the emotional resonances, the lessons learned. The Full House moments if you will. Coincidental because Bob Saget is the voice of Future Ted.

“Glitter” isn’t just an episode about Robin Sparkles and porn and space travel, it’s an episode about friendship and growing apart. And math.

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