Monsters of Television

“You keep saying things to me like you hope it means something.”

I don’t have a dog or cat but I play with them often. The laser pointer thing seems too dangerous so I stick mostly with ropes and strings, leading the animals around while they snap at the toy, wagging their tails or peering at the offensive tentacle with piercing looks of the hunt. They swat, they bite, they leap up. But it’s important that they hit the thing that’s dangling. Animals that hunt also realize when the game is fixed and they need a taste of victory in order to keep going. Or else they wander away and watch Who’s Left Standing? instead. I’m just kidding. No one’s going to watch that crap.

Now that I’ve written that, I’m sure I’ve made this analogy before but I’m going to make it again: you need to give an audience a taste of the mystery so that they don’t think it’s fixed against them. It’s hard to engage with a story that is constantly being held four feet over their heads, which is just what Pretty Little Liars did to their viewers early in the summer season. But they came through in the end, gave us a pretty winning (and pretty creepy) mid-season finale. Note to everyone: dolls are always the scariest things ever when they’re the focal point of a plot. Always.

I don’t want to pontificate too much on the winter season premiere of Pretty Little Liars, which, I’m going to say, is the best show you’re not watching right now. Until you don’t watch the new season of Being Human. Let’s hit the highlights.

The Deal I’m riding the fence on whether or not the Halloween special is supposed to be Pretty Little Liars canon since it reveals WAY too much about the show. I’m all for letting people grab the a piece of the carrot every once in a while but that episode alone showed that “A” is probably a syndicate, who comprises that syndicate, that Allison may have a twin sister (and a nose job), and what is so special about the box of junk Jason had. But, then again, the box of junk seems to be pretty important in the scheme the girls hatch in order to trick A. Probably the best part about the scheme is that they play it out for everyone, even their parents. Dedication. From a story point of view, the swim meet is a good place for them to play their gambit since it affords every creepy man in their lives the opportunity to watch them fight (why are all their male actors so creepy?). I like that they’re scheming to catch A, finally wising up to using the surveillance on them against all those watching. Just next time, you know, pick a place to meet A where there aren’t a number of assorted, rusted pointy things laying around. You’ll get ’em next time. On a related note: have we seen what Mona’s phone looks like?

A and the NAT Club One of the brilliant things about this show is its perspective, expertly vacillating between third-person limited and third-person omniscient. It’s because of this navigation that we still have limited knowledge about who A is but we know (well, I think I know with about 85% certainty) that the girls are conflating A with NAT Club. It seems like all A wants to do is make the girls tell the truth and live lives honestly, even if they don’t like the darkness within themselves. That’s what makes me so curious about The Deal. We deal with the fallout of A’s latest game that makes them honest with everyone in their lives, by which I mean opening up several cans of worms and gashing their lives and pouring the worms into those gashes. While NAT Club wants to implicate the girls in crimes, A just wants them to manipulate the girls into living unburdened by façade. That’s what puzzles me about this past episode: the messages don’t sound like A. They sound like someone that’s read A’s messages and is using the capital she’s built to gain other favors. Maybe this is a hiccup in the show (or book)’s storytelling and characterization but A wasn’t nearly as clever this episode. She mostly sounded desperate.

The Fallout Everything that happened as a result of the first half of S2 is used to setup S2.5. Spencer breaking up with Toby makes him a wild card now, someone with knowledge of Jenna’s deceit and access to her dealings. Aria and Ezra have her parents and Jackie as potential antagonists. Hanna has Kate coming to Rosewood (who could just as much be a member of the A syndicate as anyone — or at least willing to volunteer for the cause). And Emily — well, Emily is A’s favorite, right? Her fallout is just that she might not be able to swim. I’m not sure how long they can draw that out or make that interesting. Maybe I’m lowering the bar since this is an ABC Family show, but the story arcs are being well-navigated.

It was a decent beginning to the winter season and, from what we’re led to believe from the ending of this episode, one that brings the puppet master down to earth and lets the girls (and the audience) catch a big chunk of the mystery before it’ll be, inevitably, ripped away again. I’m intrigued.

Some other things to look at:

• I like the healthier Mike. Blanket Burrito Mike was a reasonable but uninteresting thread.
• I’m surprised but not surprised that Ezra came clean to Aria’s parents. There are two things to focus on for this: (1) how Ella and Byron handle the situation is exactly called for and echos Aria’s realization of how wrong their relationship is and (2) she is the only one to thwart what could’ve been A’s long game. Spencer and Toby broke up, Hanna rattled her already fragile relationship with her father, but Aria has very few secrets left to keep. Beyond invented ones upcoming, her closet looks clean.
• How did Spencer not have bloodlust when they had A cornered? Emily is too nice, Aria might break a nail, Hanna might be too shocked to move but Spencer has the killer instinct. Get her to the ground, ladies.
• Did Toby build Spencer a rocking chair because of how much older she clearly is than the rest of the cast? I know that Emily is the one that had her cream spiked with HGH but someone needs to test Spencer’s urine. She’s the Brandon Walsh of Rosewood.
• Why is Lucas looking at a sports bookie site? Does he know what sports are?