Monsters of Television

Devon: “Nothing against married life but I could use some real excitement.”
Chuck: “Devon, you’re an adventure sports cardiologist.”
Devon: “Whatever, man! I could do that in my sleep!”

We start off promising. The year is 2000 and, instead of checking out gross cadavers on the first day of medical school, Awesome and Ellie are learning how their bodies work in a broom closet. Uncharacteristic of Ellie (and she notes it) to make out with a stranger when she should feel obligated to do something else, the fact that Devon can pull her away is already a sign of something different for her.

I know what you're thinking. No, this isn't some early soft-core work for Sarah Lancaster. Sorry to disappoint.

And it appears like it might be something different for us: we see a different side of Ellie and it takes 90 whole seconds before Chuck is even mentioned. Even when Chuck does show up, the focus is still on Ellie and Awesome so it seems like, possibly maybe, we might see Ellie do something other than whine about Chuck (since the wedding’s over with). Nah. Now she just whines about how the passion has already left her marriage of six or seven months (give or take).

There are always a few weak characters in an ensemble cast (especially one as large and diverse as this one) but the writers really seem to be missing an opportunity with Sarah Lancaster. If you watch her, she makes the best out of her part on the show and has some of the most natural dialogue execution in the cast. Maybe the writers think of her as “Gift Shop Girl” from Scrubs, not “Madison” from Everwood, and don’t feel she can handle a meatier part. Maybe they’re setting her up for a larger role. I hoping more the latter than the former. Because Ellie is dangerously close to being more nagging neighbor than essential part of Chuck’s life.

Anyway, so Devon is in the know about Chuck’s extracurricular spy career (see Season 2, “Chuck vs The Colonel”) and his interest of late is escalating. Chuck keeps blowing him off but his chance to help out is coming. Just as Chuck is called to the Castle, Awesome is called to the ER and their jobs are to be intertwined. Team Chuck’s mission is to protect the premier of a small Communist country (Costa Gravas) who is being treated for heart trouble in Los Angeles (guess who his doctor is). Casey is particularly irked (more than usual) by the nature of the mission since he, personally, had been sent to kill the man several times in the ’80s. But now, on the eve of democratic elections, the man the people of Costa Gravas call “Angel de la Muerte” has to protect a man he once had to assassinate.

First thing’s first: they need get a hold of the medical records so they know if the “heart trouble” report was legitimate. Easy enough: all Chuck has to do is tell Awesome he’s in an official CIA debriefing and Devon spills (doesn’t even think twice about confidentiality): the premier had an overwhelmingly high amount of potassium in his system. Team Chuck now knows he was poisoned and have to find a way to protect him at least until he announces there will be public elections. That’s when, suddenly, the courtyard is filled with soldiers. Casey immediately thinks they’re there for him. They’re not. They’re there to protect the Premier while he thanks Awesome for saving his live AND to invite him to a special Costa Gravas gala. Chuck jumps in at just the right moment to get himself invited (plus one).

The mission is on like Donkey Kong. Ellie feels this elegant gala is just the infusion of romance she and Devon needed. Devon, however, is more interested in Chuck’s mission, more specifically, if he’s going to “whack” the Premier. Chuck tells him it’s not about whacking but trying to keep him from being whacked. Probably not Chuck’s brightest move.

Ellie, meanwhile, is trying to get Sarah and Chuck back together tonight. Ellie insists that Sarah’s got what he needs but Sarah says he’s just a friend. Small moment to remind us that, yes, these kids still have the hots for each other. And back to the mission.

Casey has an intimidating approach to gay chicken.

The Premier wants to dance with Ellie so dance they shall. Chuck and Sarah dance their way over to a suspected assassin and, with effort that is whatever the opposite of inconspicuous is, takes him out. Dude’s not the assassin and Chuck and Sarah get kicked out for appearing drunk. Casey has to move in with a disguise. Unfortunately, Awesome only sees the gun and not that he’s going for the real assassin. Devon tackles Casey from across the room, knocking off his disguise and creating enough of a diversion for the real killer to escape. The soldiers recognize Casey as the Angel de la Muerte and cart him off. Oops.

General Beckman, trying to keep the peace with a burgeoning democratic nation, demands the exchange for Casey to be done only through diplomatic channels. Chuck and Sarah both know Casey would be executed before that would happen. Casey, meanwhile, tries to protect the Premier from the assassin (who is part of the Premier’s guard) even while tied to a chair. The assassin has a thing for poison and uses that as his only means for killing people. Seems like he could branch out and maybe the job done in other ways. In any case, Casey’s ability to stop the Premier from smoking a poisoned cigar is limited and the Premier falls over. But guess who he previously demanded to be his physician?

Nothing hotter than a strong, confident woman. Holding a phallus.

Awesome, Sarah, and Chuck hatch a plan to go into the consulate together to save the Premier and Casey. Sarah takes care of the guards in the Premier’s room while Casey, dealing exclusively with the assassin, breaks his binds (silly Costa Gravas, wooden chairs can’t contain Angel de la Muerte!) and knocks him out. Unfortunately, a guard shoots him in the leg before can come down and knock him out, too. The Premier’s guards, now hip to the plan of Awesome’s associates, demands that Chuck (posing as a doctor) perform the necessary operation to pull the bullet out of Casey’s leg as a test of his identity. Some hesitation before finding his calm center but Chuck finally flashes on how to be a surgeon (interesting all the delicacy and complexities uploaded into the Intersect) and pulls it right out. But they aren’t out of the woods yet: the Premier needs blood. Casey immediately knows his blood type (“you learn a lot about a guy when you’re trying to kill him”) and, guess what — that’s totally Casey’s blood type, too! Casey, of course, refuses to give any to the “commie scum” but Chuck knocks him out (with conveniently close nitrous) and does it anyway. When Casey finds out, he’s angry (especially since the thank you note from the Premier calls him a decidedly less-fear-inducing Angel of Life) but that anger subsides when he is gifted a humidor full of pre-revolutionary Costa Gravas cigars.

And now time for the moral of our story. Devon meets up with Chuck at the Orange Orange and essentially tells him that the spy life is not for him. There’s just no way he could give up half his life so he can punch some bad guys. Enter: Sarah. Awesome heads back to work so Sarah and Chuck can decide on their cover going forward: friends. And to seal the deal they shake on it with a handshake the rides the line between business deal and holding hands.

But there’s more drama! Awesome is just finishing up his shift, visiting his last patient. Did I not mention that Casey didn’t actually kill the assassin? He didn’t. And now he’s waiting on Devon. With a giant needle. Later, Sarah arrives at Chuck’s place and whispers some news about Awesome. Saddened, they hug just as Ellie comes out and asks, “Hey, have you guys seen my husband?” Cliffhanger!

But not really since NBC ruins the whole thing with some scenes from next week’s episode in which Awesome is alive. But Angie Harmon shows up so that’s a plus. Dear NBC, stop shooting yourself in the foot.

Watch this episode: “Chuck vs the Angel de la Muerte” [Hulu]