Monsters of Television

“You look like a warrior with all that scar tissue on your face. Or were you born that way?“

…Wait, what? But then, how did they…? I don’t understand. …Why is there…WHAT?

“Flight Club” is a good episode. There’s solid fight sequences, good dialog, and we’re keeping up with the Red Lantern fleet storyline. Sure, the episode kicks Razer and Aya to the side to make room for Hawkmen and Goggin doing ink farts (I was fine with the Hawkmen, less fine with the ink farts), but they get to come back at the end for a couple of a nice moments.

But, guys, please tell me, WHERE THE HELL DID THIS MAELSTROM/THE LIGHTHOUSE THING COME FROM?!

Through the entire episode, that I was grooving on, especially due to Biff Rock’s fast-talking and double-crossing (space) pirate/scoundrel in the Errol Flynn/Douglas Fairbanks vein. It’s a nice character, one that I think the show had be missing (everyone’s so earnest in this show, regardless of if they’re a good guy or bad guy), and I great enjoyed watching the various ways he and Hal engaged in bits topping one another in the scheming department (though allows Biff and his group to be captured and/or annihilated by Bleez and her ship seemed a bit harsh).

But during the entire episode I was left wondering where this asteroid ring came from. It encircles Red Lantern space, creating a barrier between it and Guardian space. …THEN HOW DID HAL AND KILOWOG GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Argh. Things like this, previously unseen or unmentioned obstacles just make my brain twitch in bad ways. The Lighthouse exists purely to give everyone another challenge. Please, tell me, when the Green Lanterns left Oa to go stop the invading fleet, are they just all hanging out on the other side of the Lighthouse door, waiting or something?

It’s just sloppy, and I really don’t do sloppy. It’s one thing to kind of retcon yourself out of narrative corners or reveal some sort of hidden secret that turns everything on its head (if I had a problem with these sorts of things, I would never have been able to watch The Vampire Diaries), but it’s quite another to reveal some obstacle that CLEARLY EVERYONE   IMPORTANT HAS KNOWLEDGE OF at the last minute of a season.

I mean, just on a basic level: If Aya downloaded the computer banks of the Red Lantern fleet, which in turn had the information about the Green Lantern informant who had the password to the Lighthouse THEN SHE KNEW ABOUT THE LIGHTHOUSE AND MAYBE COULD’VE TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT IT? MAYBE?

ARGH.

DC Nation Short – New Teen Titans: Starfire shows up to babysit for her sister Blackfire. Blackfire intends to use this opportunity to allow her babies to devour Starfire and replace her on Earth. It’s probably the weakest of the New Teen Titans shorts, but I got a good giggle out of “I will be most happy to sit on your babies.”

FINAL THOUGHTS

• “My wings are too big and beautiful for even a half-blind lunkhead to miss.”
• “Is anyone forgetting the Red Lanterns all over the place?”
• Once again: ARGH.