Monsters of Television

“You’re truly running circles around me. How will I cope?“

It’s as if the show is reading my reviews and then writing to address my problems with the show, and that the episodes haven’t been done for weeks or months in advance!

“Coldhearted” executes a serviceable episode that shows how generally entertaining the show can be when it narrows its focus and tells a straight-forward story. While I would’ve preferred that focus on someone other than Kid Flash, probably my least favorite of the characters, the character is written strongly enough that he can carry the episode on his own, even if he doesn’t learn too much, or that we don’t learn much about him (except that his favorite breakfast is, amusingly, “heaps of everything”).

During a massive, country-wide blizzard caused by air-based ice fortresses, Wally must transport a heart from Boston to Seattle in 4 hours to save the life of a young girl. Meanwhile, the rest of his team is teaming up with the regular Leaguers to take down the ice fortresses. Wally is understandably a bit upset at being excluded, but he is the only man for the job (I mean aside from Flash).

But it turns out that the country-wide blizzard is just so someone would have to deliver the heart on foot, and could be…well, I’m not sure to be honest. The ice fortresses provide a nice distraction for Count Vertigo to intercept the heart, but using Vandal Savage as the distraction feels a little odd for a couple of reasons. The first is, simply, Vandal Savage being used as a distraction. He’s set up as the Big Bad for the series, but using him here just feels like a waste. Any supervillain could’ve been here to serve as the distraction, and instead it’s Vandal. It’s just a very weird choice.

The second issue is why they need to distract Kid Flash at all. Vandal clearly wouldn’t be a match for either Flash or Kid Flash, but he’s not there to really defeat them, just delay them a bit so as to con the carrier when they arrive at the hospital. So why not just perform that con when they arrive and ditch the fight in whichever Dakota it was? I understand the psychological element, and that the show needed an action beat in the act, but it ultimately feels a bit forced.

On the upside, the confrontation and con at the hospital work rather well (I’ll add that Kid’s brief battle with Vandal is well-animated and choreographed), and they provide a nice cap to the episode. And I do like that Kid at least learns a little bit about the importance of all things, signified by taking the heart carrier instead of the sword from Vltava. But I don’t think this is too much of a push forward for the character as Wally is generally pretty committed to doing the right thing, even if he does joke around a  bit too much.

I will say that I am looking forward to next week’s episode as Queen Bee will finally become a bit more prominent. I have no attachment to the character, but I do enjoy Marina Sirtis when she’s evil, so I’m excited about that aspect of the episode. The description likewise indicates a M’gann-heavy episode, so hopefully they’ll push her character in a good direction.

FINAL THOUGHTS

• I like that we see Wally at home, with his very understanding parents, and I like the “surprise” birthday party as well. But I was even happier that we’ve finally moved Wally away from obnoxious flirting with M’gann AND that Artemis was the one who got to tell him. (Also: Jealous much, Artemis?)
• “I know this all intimidating but someday….you’ll get used to watching Wally eat.”
• “Do you see him?” “Nope.” [Kid Flash zooms by] “Did you see him?!” “…Nope.”
• “Well played, children.”
• I’m more than a bit surprised that Batman didn’t ask to see the ice villains in their cells, and took Strange’s word that they’ve been in their cells the whole time, but the episode was almost over.
• DC Nation Short: Baby Superman of Tokyo. This was bad. A baby grows up a bit (though still behaves like an infant) when he wears the cape of Superman as a diaper. The short was heavy on premise, light on humor or even a reason for existing. The lackluster Plastic Man short from last week was better than this. When do we get Super Best Friends Forever?!