Monsters of Television

“You thought I was Kryptonian? Cool.”

Noel is still in Boston for SCMS so, in his stead, I’ll cover Young Justice this week. So, I guess what I’m saying is — I’m sorry?

Not as sorry as the grown-up Justice League, though. I understand that the Justice League is no joke, that there needs to be a governing body of an ever-expanding universe of terrestrial and comparatively near-terrestrial superhumans that Earth’s nations can contact in case of emergency (partially for the convenience of contacting all the greats at once and partially because Wonder Woman’s costume doesn’t really lend to pockets for a mobile). I mean, they have to protect the planet from things like the INjustice League. But does the induction of new members have to look like a bunch of catty country club moms considering the new single-mom in the cul-de-sac? Even Diana seemed like a baby.

Meanwhile, Superboy is on earth dealing with big boy problems like existential worth, raging against the machine, and tangling with Lex Luthor. ALL ON THANKSGIVING. So much for truth, justice, and the American way. Can’t Lex take a break and eat a turkey leg or something?

Of course, Lex’s manipulation of anyone is more interesting than the baby-games the costumes are having in the Watchtower (do they have to show up to meetings in costume? Can’t Bats just show up in kicks and a cardigan?). It’s stretched a little thin here with Lex calculating Superboy to discover, liberate, fight, and then refreeze the pure Kryptonian genomorph all as a segue for Luthor to give his Vader speech, but what he leaves him with is the distillation of the post-modern interpretation of the hero-versus-villain conundrum.

Superboy is all over the place emotionally in this episode, simultaneously disdainful of Luthor (“I know who you are”) then having to trust him in desperation. (using the shields to defeat the superior clone). The desperation part is exactly where Lex needs everyone to be. After the roller coaster ride through the scientific bureaucracy that used to imprison him to the secret city of his brethren to back out in the real world where his absolutes are thrown into question, Lex can utilize Superboy’s ultimate emotional weakness to plant a seed: now that Superboy knows he’s half human (and the result of tweaking the clone formula after the pure Kryptonian proved uncontrollable), Lex claims to be the human part of Superboy’s composition, making this the beginning of an awesome My Two Dads reboot. Someone get Paul Reiser on the phone.

Is Lex actually the human part Superboy’s composition? It doesn’t really matter. All that’s concerned here is that Superboy has that planted seed for a weed that will grow a little bit more every time Luthor pitches in to help or Superman demonstrates his paternal absenteeism. Then to further the point by pointing out Superman’s binary world perspective as myopic or juvenile while identifying himself as a man of the gray area, one that Conner is being forced to understand, is brilliant.

In a nutshell, that latter argument is the spectre that haunts superheroes and their villains. Heroes work in absolutes that define justice, the same absolutes that define society and mark the difference between citizens and criminals. Blurring those lines between those absolutes and their criminal opposites is what makes a villain. But that also makes someone that understands that no one is perfect and that even those with the best intentions are flawed, too. To the conflicted, nothing can make sense unti they understand the world operates in gray areas and those that a convinced of the absolutes are the ones that are blind to the truth of the world. At least that’s what’s being planted in Conner Kent. That’s why Luthor is the master.

Other things:

• I know Bats always sounds a little gravely but his “take your seats” sounded less superhero and more “Shut the Door. Have a Seat.”
• Right after Diana calls for more women in the Justice League, cut to two girls wearing aprons, cooking dinner, and crying about the lost men in their lives/daddy issues.
• Conner’s dog is like a pony! Does he ever ride him like Battlecat?
• “Only one thing alive with less than four legs can here this” — so you’re torturing every dog on the planet to get a message to Superboy? You’re Lex Luthor. You can’t get a phone number so you can text him?
• • FLASH: Still, we could always use more raw power and Earth has a third Green Lantern: Guy Gardner.
  • LANTERNS: No.
  • FLASH: But we could really —
  • LANTERNS: No.
• Is Young Justice trying to reboot the identity issues from Death of Superman? That clone just scorched a Bizarro symbol into his chest.
• Diana focusing on Shazam’s age deception seems really high school to me. It’s not like he turned coat on the League or lied about being a soldier for Lex Luthor. He’s ten years old with the wisdom of Solomon and the body of a Street Fighter character. I know truth is something Wonder Woman holds dear but give me a break. This is definitely a gray area.
• Of course Batman is is going to defend children being in the Justice League, what with his Bat-Pedo-Bear Detector. The tension between Diana and Bruce is all that much more delicious now that we know that Wonder Woman was his first.
• “Red Sun” freezes Superboy? He really got the short end of the stick on weaknesses.