Monsters of Television

“Have you had any sneak peeks of your childhood crush’s boobies?”

"That's funny. I'm pretty sure I just felt my sense of rhythm and whimsical good nature being sucked out through my ears." Bo Derek. SUCCUBUS.

Once you’ve come to terms with the fact that Chuck will never be the show of intrigue or subtlety that you predicted, you can learn to laugh at well-constructed episodes like this one. You let go and you can enjoy yourself.

This episode is the first of this season, now that we’re down to two weeks and three episodes of this show left, to really have fun with its characters. Sure, we’ve exhausted some outfits for Sarah (including full-on nudity) given the Intersect to Morgan and a love interest for Casey as we scrape out all the half-incubated ideas the series had left. But this episode really felt like it was having fun with being a lame-duck series. You don’t have to hold back anymore. Be as crazy as you want to be. Let your (broadcast-approved) freak flag fly!

Everything from the language being used to the major arcs of the episode (and particularly the turning point for the season at the end of this episode) was inspired. If only they could’ve done this kind of thing consistently.

Let’s talk about what happened.

We’ll start with things least cataclysmic for the series and end with the thing that could possibly, supposedly, change everything. And when we talk about things that are least cataclysmic, I obviously mean Jeff and Lester. So often have they been misused by this series, I immediately thought they were scuttling away a false cliffhanger. That Jeff, Lester, and Big Mike don’t know about Chuck’s “clandestine” espionage ring is one of the final frontiers for this show. You could see the color of disappointment on my face when I watched the cover-up. I don’t trust this show anymore to do something when they actually pull the trigger on anything interesting. But, what they did end up doing with it was priceless. One part Groundhog Day, one part Memento, and a dash of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (maybe some inspiration of The Hangover — but mostly just the forgetting stuff), the structure of the B-story was perfect. Rule of three, perfectly acted — the thing had theme and motif, for crissakes, and it did exactly what it’s supposed to: by the third time I heard “The Weight” by The Band, I laughed out loud.

Part of why it was so funny, was because Chuck finally dedicated itself to the long game. From the first episode that Jeff showed himself to possess a grounded intellect after he stopped huffing exhaust fumes, it was the beginning of a trip that ended up lasting for most of the season, slowly churning, slowly establishing that Jeffster had the wherewithal to finally realize what’s happening under their noses. And, yeah, at the end, they did scuttle the storyline away and jam in a Subway spot but I’m satisfied with how it ended. Jeff and Lester didn’t need to be implicated into the spy ring in order for their loose ends to be tied up. All we needed to see is that, given their best shot, they still fall short and are just as happy at knowing nothing as they might be at knowing everything (in fact, for the short time they did know everything, they were miserable).

What Jeff and Lester saw that made them want to forget everything (Casey’s special nerve gas making their wish come true) is “one last mission” after Sarah and then Chuck’s decision to quit spying. I’m on the fence about whether or not it seems sudden but, since I’m on the fence at all, I’m giving Chuck the benefit of the doubt that they played this well enough for it to be the obvious decision even if they didn’t meditate on it for very long. We know we’re going to get a happy ending for this series, something that’ll tie everything up so we can be comfortable that Chuck will be comfortable. That’s not going to happen if they keep spying. But the magic words “one last mission” mean that they get to pull out all the stops for this one.

And so Bo Derek is a spy. As herself. And, of all the things that happened in this episode, this is the part that I don’t really understand: Chuck and I are the same age and we both, arguably I’ll admit, have the same level of media consumption. Maybe I was watching more Talespin and Duck Tales instead of Star Wars or Dune but I feel our coming-of-age was around the same time since we were both stay-in-the-house-and-code nerds. I don’t get the thing with Bo Derek. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I was in my late teens, let alone be a childhood crush. Bo Derek is a timelessly beautiful woman, sure. I just don’t exactly understand why she would inspire so much anxiety from Chuck. Tiffani Amber-Thiessen? That I would understand. Even a Candace Cameron (Bure). Granted, Steve Bartowski wasn’t Father of the Decade or anything. But who’s showing their kid 10?

What I do understand is this is the last time Chuck has an opportunity to pull a stunt like this: take a celebrity and go all Chuck Barris on it by making her and undercover spy. They did the same thing with Stan Lee in “Chuck vs The Santa Suit” and I like it fine. Why wouldn’t you make a world-renowned sex symbol into an agent of sexpionage? I’m talking about Lee, of course.

In a single episode, we tie up Morgan’s Life as a D-Bag (a retrospective that was also well-structured) and move on to one of the biggest what-ifs of the series. So far, the Intersect has been given to Chuck and Morgan, two nobodies that benefitted from not dying when the program was uploaded to their numb skulls. But the Intersect was built to be uploaded to the best spies in the business. We saw what happened when it was given to Shaw. But what about when we give it to someone that’s demonstrated super human prowess the entire series without supernatural assistance? What happens when Sarah has the power of the Intersect?

I’m hoping they don’t destroy this storyline too quickly before they hit on what could make it interesting and fun. Does the Intersect just elevate a regular spy to the status that Sarah already achieves (therefore only giving the superspy confidence to do the things she already knows how to do) or will she be even more impressive than Chuck could ever be? Already from the sneak peak next week, we see that she suffers the ill effects of the Intersect, which I feel like Yvonne Strahovski can portray better than most anyone in the cast. Will they relinquish her of it in time to show that no one needs to the Intersect to to great things? There are three episodes left which gives me hope because, even if they scuttle this one away like they usually do with storylines, at least they have the excuse that they only had a limited time anyway.

Here are some other things:

• Being a cyberterrorism unit is a way better idea than being the company that cares. If Chuck isn’t the brains of this operation, what is he doing there?
• Sarah: “I mean, you get shot a lot.” Casey: “Not considering how much I get shot at.”
• The reason why everyone is ready to give up the spy life is because of the Chuckification of this crew. Morgan was always a softy but, suddenly, Sarah wants a family and Casey is thinking about the ones he’s reconnecting with. You can’t help but to think that, if Chuck hadn’t been around, Casey would probably be a general by now and Sarah — well, Sarah would probably still be doing Bryce Larkin somewhere tropical.
• “Let’s kick the creepy cousin out of the family.” The Buy More, as a crew and a concept, limped through these last three seasons. What started off being a focal point of what Chuck was about, balancing the mundane with the impossibly exhilarating, became an afterthought, only remembered because they did such a good job creating that world. If there was no Jeffster, would we be sad about the Buy More bowing out? I don’t know if the last three episodes will contain any new information or story involving the Buy More crew (especially with so much happening with Chuck getting kidnapped and Sarah knowing kung fu) but, if all I see of them again is riding out to Vegas, I’ll be okay with that.
• People say one last mission/job all the time. Don’t feel bad, Sarah.
• Did Lester just call Sarah that whory blonde? I like it!
• “Nobody? I guess it was nobody that, wait, how’d you put it? Filled your body with rainbows?” I love that Alex “acted out a little, physically.” I’m saddened that I’ve never filled anyone’s body with rainbows.
• Bizarro Buy More Crew, complete with Bizarro Jeff’s winks: brilliant.
• “Let’s be done. Can’t we just be done?”
• I’m not sure I approve of Nicholas Quinn being introduced as the biggest bad with only two weeks left of the series. But what am I going to do?