Monsters of Television

One of the dangers when embarking on a First Watch of a show (or film) that has been out for quite some time is that no one else thinks of it as something that can be spoiled.

I clicked on a link this past week that led to a story that sounded interesting. I was not expecting to see Twin Peaks pop up in the opening paragraph, nor to have one of its plot points discussed in detail. Though I attempted to skip past any mentions of the show, the damage was already done. In truth, the very title of the piece, combined with seeing the italicized name of the show anywhere in the article, was enough to be a spoiler.

Alas, I shall push it from my mind and take comfort in the fact that at least I don’t know the when or how or why.

Meanwhile, things are still afooting at pace in our beloved little town full of crazies.

Albert takes his leave early in the episode, headed for the lab and further testing of evidence. But not before spending some quality time with Cooper and Harry. (Oh, please let Albert join the bromance. It needs the snark.) Harry and Albert get into it again, and we get such a wonderful revelation, I feel it needs capslock.

ALBERT’S NON-VIOLENCE ALL THE WAY. HE FOLLOWS GANDHI AND KING. THE FOUNDATION IS LOVE.
Albert: “I love you, Sheriff Truman.”
Dale: “Albert’s path is a strange and difficult one.”
The music: *is dramatic*

I love this show.

The one-armed man comes back around, sees the picture of “Bob”, and loses it. While trying to shoot up in the bathroom, he loses it a little and heads off, growling about “hunting” Bob. Bob’s a popular fellow, because Leland shows up to tell the Harry that he knows him – or at least the police sketch that’s been circulating. Is the noose tightening on Bob? WE SHALL SEE.

Donna gets a lot of facetime here. She meets with Harold Smith, the mystery man from last episode, and discovers that he isn’t quite like the other Meals on Wheels customers. For one, he’s young. And he’s mobile enough to go outside, he just can’t. And he grows orchids (my favorites!). And apparently Laura talked a hell of a lot about Donna to him, because he knows Donna quite well and is extremely pleased to meet her. I find Smith to be very interesting – a bit creepy, but interesting. Donna’s visit with his is brief – he asks her to place a hybrid orchid on Laura’s grave – but he shows up later.

Donna dutifully takes the orchid to Laura’s grave (in the middle of the night, why?) and then proceeds to chew out the headstone, getting out all of her feelings about having to continuously clean up Laura’s messes. She also suspects something is going on between Maddy and James so, of course, something eventually happens. Donna, distraught, runs straight to – you guessed it! – Mr. Smith. Only to discover that he has Laura’s diary! DUN DUN DUNNNN!

In other news, Ben Horne is still the scum of the earth and Blackie is turning Audrey into a druggie. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM JEAN RENAULT. Who’s shacked up with Blackie’s sister, but the important part is that they’re keeping Audrey on a steady diet of non-legals and plan to use her to get control of Jack’s from Ben. BEFORE KILLING HER, BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE CAN’T LIVE. Oh, Audrey.

Cooper and Harry make a stop at the hospital, to put a recuperating Dr. Jacoby under hypnosis to see what they can discover about Jacques’ murderer. Dr. Jacoby gives Cooper a written suggestive to help put him under, and it turns out to be a description of golfing, which I also find puts me in a trance-like state. The hypnosis works, and Jacoby remembers who he saw smothering Jacques.

LELAND PALMER (in case you forgot). Cooper and Harry arrest him because murder, even of a bad guy, is still murder. Too bad.

The moral of Twin Peaks is this, more or less: people are a mess, y’all.

Notes:
Albert: “Oh, by the way – you were shot with a Walther PPK.”
Me: “That’s James Bond’s gun!”
Albert: “That’s James Bond’s gun.”
Me: “I know!”
Are Albert and I soulmates? Possibly. Did I play a lot of Goldeneye on N64? Yes, I did.

• Hawk makes me happy. Just standing there, he makes me happy.
• LUCY. WHO IS THIS RICHARD? WHAAAAT.
• James wants to leave. You should, James. Too many crazy women in your life. CRAY-ZAY.
• Shelly’s a moron. And absolute moron.
• MICHAEL PARKS. Do you always play skeezy?
• Aw, Big Ed has a nice singing voice, y’all. And Nadine is POSSESSED. By her 18 YEAR OLD SELF, WHAT. (Ed’s face after she breaks her chains? PRICELESS.)