Monsters of Television

The thing about shows built around singular mysteries is: how do you keep them going? How do you keep a show centered on one question – “Who killed Laura Palmer?” – viable for longer than a season? Such a premise can only be built upon for so long before it becomes stretched too thin for even the most forgiving of suspended disbeliefs. And you can only hold back answers for so long before the audience starts getting antsy.

Well guess what, show. I’m there.

Twin Peaks is an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in an endless stream of information without resolution. Even when we get solid evidence, it doesn’t provide any answers. Donna and James, on their snoop around Dr. Jacoby’s office, find Laura’s tape and necklace stashed in the hollow coconut, but the discovery doesn’t really give us any new information. We see an exchange of more than one kind between Hank and Josie, and are left to wonder even more about the nature of their arrangement. (I have to say, Josie’s story is the most interesting to me at the moment. Just what the hell is going on with her?)

We even have the official investigators get to Jacques. Jacques tells it straight, but we still don’t know anything we didn’t know before. And I’m starting to get a little bit sick of it.

Give me some new information. Give me something I don’t already know or suspect. Surprise me, for crying out loud. Take all the tidbits you’re giving me and make something out of it. Right now, I just want to get to the resolution already.

And I don’t get anything even remotely like that in this finale. Didn’t feel like much of a finale, to be honest. Sure, there were some cliffhangers, but none stronger than any of the ones we’ve seen so far at the end of every episode. The unknown person at Cooper’s door, the gun, the shots into what was clearly a bulletproof vest (hello) – I honestly said, out loud to my empty apartment: “That’s it?” My last notes on this episode? “SERIOUSLY? COME ON.”

You know what I think would help tremendously? Go ahead, once and for all, and reveal exactly who killed Laura and why. Then we can move on to more interesting intrigue with the rest of the town. Because, at this point, wrapping up Laura’s murder will by no means solve the rest of this show’s mysteries. THERE ARE ALWAYS MORE MYSTERIES IN TWIN PEAKS.

Let me break down a few of the stories I want more of: Josie’s is, of course, at the forefront right now. Lucy and Andy are adorbs, so more of their baby drama would be welcome. The craziness at One Eyed Jacks – with Benjamin sneaking in to take a look at the “new girl,” who just so happens to be HIS DAUGHTER – was a bit of deliciousness that was denied me when the finale left it hanging. And, perhaps most importantly, who is the Forest Ninja?

So, come on, show. Get with the program. Keep me invested in this little town that is so full of liars. (Really. It seems a bit much, but people truly are as confusing as Twin Peaks makes them out to be. What they want, what they do, who they’re with, what they say, how they say it: it’s usually contradictory. It’s lies, or truths they don’t realize are lies, or lies they think are truths but definitely aren’t. And it’s the entire reason Twin Peaks is so fun a place: I’m not entirely sure anybody knows what the hell is going on, or why. Except maybe the Forest Ninja. But ninjas know all.)

I still have the faith. With how complex and interweaving all these bits and pieces are, I have to believe that there is some master plan to it all. Everything is going to come together at some point, and I’ll get one of those wonderful “AHA!” moments.

That, or I’ll just switch to watching Lost.

Notes:

• I didn’t really pay attention before, but Blackie has this whole Maleficent thing going on with the shoulders of her dress. I like it.
• Shelly: proving she’s stupid by staying at home all by her lonesome while her murderous, abusive husband – that she shot! – wanders about at will. Bobby: proving he’s stupid by visiting her.
• ANDY SHOT JACQUES. LIKE A BOSS.
• Oh, Eye-patch Lady. At least you’re attempting to go gentle into that good night.
• Pete, you gullible old fool. If you die for that lying, backstabbing, manipulative sociopath, I’ll never forgive you.
• I kind of love that the hospital privacy curtains looks like circus tents. So fitting.