Monsters of Television

Mommy Dearest is back! Ready to f some shit up. (Spoiler alert: she does a good job of that.)

The Vampire Diaries is back! And boy ever. Just when you thought this series had gotten a bit tired, it reminds you that there are few rules here. For instance, the endless betrayals by Katherine and Isobel eventually begin to seem routine—gee, Katherine can’t be trusted—who would have guessed that? But then a new type of betrayal happens, and the show takes a new direction. I imagine there are other viewers like me—waiting to see how long the writers and producers of TVD can keep up this lightening pace. According to this week’s episode, they aren’t slowing down a bit.

Some events that occur during this episode excited me (Matt!), some horrified me (Ric!), and some simply entertained me (all things Damon). But despite my personal allegiance to particular characters (Ric again) or aversion to them (Bonnie) I have to admit that particular moves suggest the writers’ are all too aware of critiques and have responded to them.

The title of this week’s episode speaks to a whole host of characters—Katherine, Isobel, Uncle John, Elena, Awesome Vampire Caroline, among others. All these characters are unsure who to trust. The best answer in the world of TVD, of course, is trust no one, but as these characters reach out to find someone in whom to put their faith, they remind us that the human part of all of them (dead and undead alike) is that part who wants to believe in someone else. It is an interesting message for a show that often fails to highlight any drawbacks to being undead, perhaps suggesting that it isn’t the status of your beating heart that matters, but rather the ability of your heart to care for another—that is what divides the alive from the dead.

The program opens where it left off over a month ago—Jenna comes face to face with her boyfriend’s dead wife. Jenna, of course, believes that Isobel standing there must mean she is alive, so her ability to process Isobel’s presence is limited. Elena thinks quickly and prevents Jenna from inviting Isobel in, but Isobel gives up her secret, saying, “it is nice to see you again, Elena.” Now Jenna is not only confused but betrayed. Elena slams the door in Isobel’s face, which is cool.

How does Jenna react to all this? Does she ask any questions at all? Does she confront Ric directly? Does she, perhaps, ask Isobel where she has been? Nope. Instead she decides to keep completely silent, ask zero questions, and run away. If the writers want Jenna to be world’s dumbest character, then this was a good choice for them. If, however, they want me to view Jenna as at all worthy of redemption (much less continuation on this show), her refusal to ask those she loves why they have kept a seemingly important detail from her is inexplicable. But so be it—Jenna remains a useless character that spurs no one to action, that wanders in and out of scenes without impacting a single person, and that adds pretty much nada to this show. Fix her, please!

Katherine pretends that she is on the side of our favorite brothers, saying she doesn’t want Uncle John and Isobel to know she remains a resident of Mystic Falls. [At this point, my partner exclaimed in frustration, “why are they letting her hang around the house?! Word.] Stefan suggests Damon give Ric a call to let him know his ex-wife just confronted his girlfriend.

Ric rushes to the Gilberts and finds an angry Jenna rushing out. In walks Uncle John, telling them to let Jenna go. When he suggests more truth from Ric might have helped, Ric decks him (Elena’s amused reaction is a hoot). She reminds Uncle John this is all his fault. [Uncle John has a really rough episode this week. This is only the first of his physical attacks in this episode, but in the past he has had his neck broken and his finger cut off. Dude is suffering for his crimes, people.]

Awesome Vampire Caroline calls Stefan in a panic because she hasn’t heard from Matt since he discovered she’s a vampire [okay, the last episode was an awfully long time ago—Caroline saved his life, right? He’s all whiny this week after she saved his freakin’ life?] Everyone is a bit busy with Elena’s vampire mother, though, so AVC is kind of on her own looking for Matt. No, wait, Elena has time to stop by the Lockwood mansion to pick up some check for a charity or something—so guess she has time to search for Matt after all. But she doesn’t. Seems odd that few of our regular characters are at all concerned that an angry guy who knows about Awesome Vampire Caroline is running loose, capable of doing anything. But hey, guess Mystic Falls is a happening town.

Uncle John asks Stefan and Elena to speak with him, so they go downstairs to find Isobel in the Gilbert home (thanks to John’s invite). Isobel pretends she wants a do-over with Elena. Both she and Uncle John say their efforts have always been directed towards saving Elena—even as far back as killing all those tomb vamps who could have told Klaus about the doppleganger. Wow—quite a scam, Isobel—and a clever way to connect storylines from seasons past. Isobel then offers Elena a safehouse that is owned by Elena, so she can control all vamps that gain entrance. Elena is reluctant to believe Isobel, as she should be.

Damon, Bonnie, and Jeremy hit the Martin house and find Luka’s dead (and badly burned body) on the floor. They pay the body little mind, though Bonnie does get Damon to assure he will bury it. [Poor Luka, what a sad end. I mean, I know this show has to move quickly, but for Bonnie to care so little that Luka died a pretty painful death? Huh.]  They grab all the spellbooks Dr. Martin had collected and Damon mentions the location of the witches death. When Bonnie says, “you know where they died?“ he replies, “did I forget to mention that?” [What would this show be without Damon? For reals.] Bonnie finds the exact right spell by just holding out her hands until the right books falls open [again, the partner rolled his eyes—he hates when shows cheat narrative by having magical things happen. Partner really needs to suspend his disbelief more.]

Katherine rushes to see Isobel and they hug (in the only way evil vampires seem able to hug–they throw each other against a wall). Isobel informs her that she made a deal with Klaus to save Katherine, though she admits that showing up at the Gilbert house that morning was poor judgment: “I got jealous.” Isobel continues explaining her evil plot—that Uncle John wrongly thinks she is going to help him protect Elena, and that though she did not speak with Klaus himself, she did talk with one of his witches. If they deliver the moonstone and the doppleganger to Klaus’ witch, Katherine is free. Katherine, thinking Bonnie has lost her powers and that the Salvatore brothers therefore have no adequate means to fight Klaus, very happily shifts her allegiance to Isobel.

Returning home to the Salvatore mansion, Katherine tries to get the gang to fill her in on the plan. Damon wisely refuses to tell Katherine that Bonnie has in fact regained her powers and offers Katherine this lovely gem, “don’t mistake the fact that we haven’t set you on fire in your sleep for trust.” [Is there a fan blog online that tracks all of Damon’s best lines? If not, there really should be.]

Damon takes Bonnie and Jeremy to the site of the witches death—an abandoned mansion that looks an awful lot like the old Salvatore mansion but no one says anything about that so I guess it is just another abandoned house in Mystic Falls. Damon says he once tried to save Emily so she would help him save Katherine: “Emily was just my key to getting Katherine back, before I know what nasty little bitch Katherine was.” Jeremy laughs. Yep, Damon is funny. Damon walks into a room and finds he can’t move. Then the sun starts to burn his skin, and he realizes that really angry witches that died here do not appreciate his presence. Bonnie helps him get out of the room, and as he walks out of the house, the door shuts behind him “Screw you, too, Emily,” Damon shouts.

Meanwhile Katherine is searching the Salvatore mansion for the moonstone that she promised to get for Isobel. She finds a wad of cash and pockets it (the humor in TVD is another underestimated value to this show), then searches a fireplace to no avail. When she goes to wash her hands, she finds the moonstone in a basket full of soap [the partner again exclaimed, this time at the lame hiding place, but I thought it was rather clever—the moonstone really looks like a bar of soap.]

Isobel runs into Ric and apologizes for outing him to his girlfriend, “that was petty of me.” Then she tells him, “I realize that I don’t want to do what I have to do without you knowing how much I loved you. And I did. I loved you so much…He’s all yours.” Some guy puts his hands around Ric’s head and takes him to the ground with a killer migraine. [Nooooo! Not Ric. Anyone but Ric! Take dumb Jenna! Take Matt! Please leave me my Ric. Isobel is evil, people.]

Bonnie and Jeremy share a kiss and then she works her mojo. The hushed voices of witches echo throughout the room, making Jeremy super nervous.

Isobel shows up at the lame ceremony at the Lockwood mansion, surprising Uncle John. She says she is there to create a distraction, and then bites Uncle John, leaving him bleeding on the ground for all the charity ladies to find. Katherine then grabs Elena.

Stefan finds Elena/Katherine and they rush outside. She says Isobel must have set them up, and though it isn’t clear what exactly sparks it, Stefan throws her to the side [Gotta say, if Stefan ever fails to recognize Katherine, I’ll be pretty disappointed. My notes while watching the show actually say, “S better be able to tell difference.” One of my favorite parts of his relationship with Elena is that he can always tell the evil chick isn’t her. So good for Stefan.] Unfortunately, Katherine is prepared for this, and stabs Stefan with a syringe (loaded with what, no one knows, since he’s supposedly immune to verveine), but she leaves Stefan incapacitated in some bushes.

Bonnie, still communing with dead witches, begins to cry, then screams in agony. [Okay, I need to revise my theory of supernatural characters on this show. Apparently, it only sucks to be supernatural if you are not a vampire. Tyler as a werewolf? Excruciating pain when he transforms—also no way to control the transformation. Bonnie getting all powered up? Excruciating pain and the experience of suffering a bunch of witches’ pain. Still looking for what it is that makes it suck to be a vampire. More about this below]

Damon arrives at the Lockwood’s and has the uncomfortable task of explaining to the Sheriff and Mrs. Lockwood that Uncle John isn’t really dead because of his ring. He removes the body and warns them that they’ll need a story to cover up this one.

Matt runs into Sheriff Forbes at the Lockwood mansion and demands to see Vicki’s file since he knows vampires killed her. She hushes him immediately (lady does have an awful lot of problems already), but Matt doesn’t look like he is going to take “no” for an answer.

Damon arrives at home, somewhat covered in Uncle John’s blood. So he takes of his shirt (thank you, writers) and washes his hands (see how they did that? Clever), discovering the absent moonstone. Damon is pissed. (He’s gotta be thinking, “she fucked us again?!?!?!?!?)

Isobel, who now has Elena, calls Katherine and apologizes: “I’m sorry, Katherine, I had to do what I was told,” she says. Katherine is grabbed by a big white guy, who does the Jedi mind trick/pain thing on her. Hey! A witch that is white!

Matt shows up at Awesome Vampire Caroline’s house. He says her mother threatened to arrest him and made him calm down. He then asks AVC to tell him everything, including everything about Vicki and how AVC became a vampire.

Bonnie, all juiced up, shows Jeremy her new abilities by doing the normal trick with leaves but adding a freakin’ lightening storm (that part was cool). Oh, there is that little bit of warning the witches gave her—no big deal, though. Jeremy is suspicious.

Damon and Stefan arrive at the “nicest foreclosure in town” to discover Isobel is already gone. We cut to a cemetery, where Isobel arrives with Elena. Suspicious that she has been compelled by Klaus, Isobel admits to Elena that it may be true. They are Isobel’s grave. Isobel’s speech that follows is actually pretty nice, so I’ll offer it here in full:

“My parents, your grandparents, they put it [the headstone] here when it became clear that the police weren’t going to find my body. They visit every week and they bring flowers, even though there’s no one buried here. The Isobel they knew is dead. So maybe there’s a party of me that’s buried here, the human part, the part that I abandoned when I chose to become a vampire, the part that used to dream about the day that she would know her daughter.” Isobel shrugs. “Instead you got to meet the other part, the part that would betray her own flesh and blood.”

A phone call interrupts her. The voice tells her that she can let the doppleganger go. She asks if she is done, and the voice says “you’re done.” Isobel looks relieved. She tells Elena, “I’m so sorry, Elena. I was such a disappointment to you,” and rips off her necklace to let the sun burn her alive.

Whoa. Goodbye, Isobel. I was worried they would make this character more sympathetic, but actually, I’m pretty happy with how they handled it. Isobel never pretends the girl she once was remains inside her. She’s very clear that becoming a vampire replaced that girl with a vicious one. Elena never had a chance to know her real mother, it seems. She did indeed die long ago.

Speaking of dead, Awesome Vampire Caroline finishes telling Matt everything, and he sort of freaks out. He tells her that he’s learned all his friends are liers, and she (Caroline) is… he can’t even say the word. Caroline insists, “I am still me.” He begs Caroline to make him forget—he doesn’t want to know all this. Awesome Vampire Caroline is devastated because she was hoping she could have Matt and no longer have to lie. Seeing that her happy dream is gone, she places her hands on his face and compels him to forget.

The Salvatore brothers have been caught up on Isobel’s death by Elena, who wonders why Klaus decided to let her go? Neither gentleman can explain it, but they did learn something from Isobel. They hand Elena a contract and explain that they are signing over their house to her so vampires can no longer enter without her permission. “Although I’ll be pissed if you lock me out,” Damon says with a twinkle in his eye.

Uncle John, still unconscious, awakens in the Salvatore living room. He tells Elena how sorry he is. [Poor Uncle John, always led astray by wily vampires.] Elena says they need to talk.

Jeremy has read up on the spell Bonnie plans to perform and realizes she will be risking her life to kill Klaus. Bonnie says that she knows she has to die to save Elena, Jeremy, and everyone else. “Do you think I was born with these powers so I could float feathers and blow out candles? There’s a reason I was called to do this.” [Thank you, Bonnie. Seems the writers are kind of aware that her witch-y tricks are sometimes super lame. But now she has a real grown-up mission. Maybe this is a Bonnie I can admire.”

[Meanwhile, all I can think is, “where is Ric? What are they doing to him?”]

Matt gets into Sheriff Forbes’ car and says, “I did it.  I took the verveine, and I got her to tell me everything. And then I asked her to take it all away.” Sherrif Forbes is crying: “I’m glad you told me what happened last night. I want you to tell me everything that she said. Matt replies, “I feel like she died.” Sheriff Forbes sobs, “she did.” [This was a really surprising twist—and a good one. It is about time both Matt and Sheriff Forbes get to be more than dupes. Plus, their mutual sorrow over Caroline’s death finally gives becoming a vampire some real stakes. She is losing everyone she loves. And maybe she’ll have to face facts that she isn’t still that same Caroline.]

Uncle John, trying to make sense of it all, says, “I knew that she and Katherine were close, but I never realized that Isobel and her were working against me. Two of the world’s most uncaring and selfish vampires, and yet, they were genuinely friends.” He explains that he believed Isobel was sincere about wanting to help Elena because he saw Elena’s birth: “I saw how heartbroken she was to give you up.” He offers to leave town, if that makes Elena feel safer. Elena isn’t all that moved, but she admits, “You screw up everything, John. Everything you touch falls apart, … but you’re the only parent I have left. So maybe I can learn not to hate you.” John looks happy, and it is a sweet ending to a tough scene. Perhaps Sark, er, Uncle John, can be redeemed after all.

Damon updates Stefan that Bonnie is “locked and loaded,” and they both realize their one strength is that no one knows Bonnie has her powers back (and is super charged). Damon jokes, “this literally makes Bonnie our secret weapon.”

The scene cuts to one of horror. We see Ric’s back. He’s hooked up to a series of wires, and blood is dripping into an antique looking vial while the witch chants. Katherine wakes up and runs to the door. She is trapped inside the room. Ric stands and walks over to her. He touches her cheek, and in an Eastern European accent, tells her he missed her. Dang, Klaus took over Ric’s body.

Man, I hope he is still in there somewhere, though the smile Klaus/Ric offers to Katherine makes him seem like a super good bad guy. Maybe I should hope Ric stays Klaus for a while (though casting news suggests that is not the case). Either way, Ric is one of my favorite characters. I really hope the show lets me keep him.