Monsters of Television

Bet this is a show you never thought you’d see on this site. It’s kind of hard to “review” a dance competition like this because it is so heavily reliant on being able to actually see the dances. And I know close to zero terminology for dance moves and such. So this is going to be more of a rant, but a rant containing events that occurred in the episode. So it counts. It’s a rant and a recap of sorts. A rantcap, Patent pending.

This episode was specifically constructed by MTV to make me Matt-rage. And Matt-rage I did. Oh how I Matt-raged. (Matt-rage is also patent pending.)

For starters, I hate Katy Perry. She sucks and her music sucks and she sucks and her music sucks. But this isn’t the forum for that particular rant. I’m just saying that so you have a feel for my mental state going into the episode. That said, some of the mixes were pretty enjoyable. And the crew’s sick dances distracted me enough from the terrible terrible assault on my ears.

My favorite crew, IaMmE, really brought it this week. Ok, maybe I do know some of the terminology. They had the song “Peacock”, which I had never heard of, but the dance was awesome. Iconic Boyz, another group I’m fairly fond of, also brought it (maybe I need a street thesaurus). D-Trix shit on them a bit, prompting an argument with JC, but they’ll probably be safe. The crowd loves them and as JC said, crowd pleasing is a big part of performing.

Those were the high points. Here comes the rantcap.

The bottom two crews this week were Street Kingdom and ReQuest. Now I love ReQuest. They have a lot of energy and are super fun to watch. Their dance from the Black Eyed Peas challenge last week was one of my favorites. Yet for some reason, this all girl group from New Zealand is not a popular one. They have been in the bottom two twice in a row. This upsets me.

Street Kingdom excited me in the beginning. Their presence did anyway. You see, one of their members is credited with creating krumping. Pretty cool having current dance royalty on the show. But then I saw them dance. And I use that term loosely. That is to say they are bad. Like really bad. So bad I’m going to continue using short, fragmented sentences. I like krumping, it’s cool. I do it when I’m drunk. I loved when Troy and Abed did it. That does not change the fact that Street Kingdom cannot dance. But because this one guy (his name escapes me) created krumping, the judges keep sucking his dick and letting his crew move on. I audibly groaned when D-Trix said it was one of the best performances he’d ever seen. That’s bullshit, D-Trix. Street Kingdom should have gone home this week. They should have gone home last week.

I shall continue to rant and rave and shake my head should Street Kingdom continue to undeservedly move on. Now excuse me while I resume voting for IaMmE on the website for the next few hours. Take a look at the dances from this week and see for yourself. Or just trust me. Cause I’m right. Fragmented sentences. Matt-rage. Patent pending.

Final Thoughts:

• Next week is the Rihanna challenge episode. The biggest challenge will be sitting trough her horrendous, repetitive “songs”.
• Iconic Boyz win for best costumes this week.
• Really awesome way for 787 Crew to incorporate their injured member into this week’s routine. They had a great dance.