Monsters of Television

World's dumbest plans--Werewolves prove once and for all that they are less evolved than vampires.

I’m a bit torn about this week’s episode. Some of my complaints about last week—Are all werewolves naturally sadistic? What the heck does Jules want with Tyler? Does Tyler have any compassion at all for his so-called “friends”?—remained issues for much of the episode. Not that there wasn’t goodness—Damon and Ric bantered like buddies, Jeremy and Bonnie got hot and heavy, Stefan and Elena were crazy cute—but I remain a bit less than satisfied.

This show is repeatedly praised for its fast pacing.  Things happen on The Vampire Diaries.  People die, many people get shot, stabbed, tortured, and lots of couples fall in love.  But without character development, all of that feels empty.  The first half of this season did an admirable job putting Tyler on the path to redemption.  He became sympathetic in his fear and pain, and his friendship with Awesome Vampire Caroline brought out the best in Tyler.  But in the past weeks, Tyler’s story has been pushed to the sidelines.  Even though the wolves have been the primary actors–doing all kinds of stupid things with the goal of getting Tyler and getting revenge–Tyler has not been given a chance to process all these actions.  He has followed other people without much comment and without a true crisis of self-preservation versus a duty to others.  There is much more than could have done with Tyler in the last three episodes.  Sadly, this potential was not fulfilled.  A rare instance of The Vampire Diaries failing to deliver the one-two punch of adrenaline and emotion.

We start with the werewolves revealing that one of them, Steve, did know that Mason was f-ing “Kathy” (as he annoyingly and repeatedly calls her). They discuss the sun and the moon curse, realizing that if the vampires break the curse, they are screwed. So the werewolves develop a plan to get the moonstone. Did they learn nothing last week when a super witch gave them all a massive brain aneurism without exerting any effort whatsoever? Why are werewolves so dumb? As they keep chatting in a subsequent scene, we learn that the werewolves believe they can control their transformation if they are the ones to end the curse. As Jules explains to Tyler, he wouldn’t have to turn at all. I suppose this could be a motivation for Tyler’s behavior this entire episode, but it sure would have helped if Tyler had talked to anyone about his conflict—stick by my friends or help these strangers who are offering me a tiny bit of hope? I can get his reasons, but I didn’t see his reasons acted for me on the screen. I don’t think it was the actor’s fault—I think the writers were too interested in plot to deal with character. In his dumbest move, Tyler steals Caroline’s phone so he can find out Elena’s location for the wolves. Seriously, Tyler? What exactly did you think they were planning to do with Elena? Dumb.

Damon continues to glamour Brenda Star (sorry, her name is just too similar, um, Andie), though his end game here remains a bit elusive. Damon then shows Ric the method to kill an Original that was gifted to him by the never-to-be-trusted Uncle John.  About Elijah being honored at a historical society meeting, Ric quips, “tell me you’re not going to kill him at the tea party?”  Demon explains that he won’t try to kill Elijah…yet.  First, Damon wants to know his endgame. Hooray—someone being smart and careful rather than just acting in impulse.

Elena had so much fun slumbering it with Awesome Vampire Caroline that she asks Stefan to do an overnight with her at her deceased parents’ lakehouse. When they arrive at the door, Stefan finds he can’t come in without an invite. Elena looks horrified, telling Stefan that Uncle John owns the house and therefore she cannot invite him in. Poor Stefan looks crestfallen, but then Elena laughs, revealing it was a joke. I love when these two are playful—it is such a different take on the normal intensity of their relationship.

Awesome Vampire Caroline gets called out by Matt for lying about being with Bonnie the night before.  Her response is a simple but sad, “oh.”  The poor girl was too busy being tortured to meet up with you, Matt, but she can’t say that.  All Matt knows is that Caroline and Tyler are fighting a lot.  As he tells Tyler, “if the two of you want to get together, fine.  But stop lying about it.”

Damon goes to the  random history of the town club meeting because he’s bummed he hasn’t yet met Elijah. Their meeting is funny at first, because Damon is posturing the tough guy. But Elijah quickly proves to Damon that he is no match for Elijah, who pushes Damon against a wall and stabs him with a pencil, just for fun. He then informs Damon that when Damon is no longer useful to him, he is dead. Way to piss off the Original, Damon. Good plan. “I’m an Original. Show some respect,” Elijah commands.

Jeremy and Caroline are chatting about Bonnie tricking Luka to drink a drugged coffee, allowing Awesome Vampire Caroline to learn Jeremy is into Bonnie. It is a cute moment.

Elena is busy reliving memories of her past at the lakehouse, sharing her stories with Stefan, when she asks him if he ever thinks about their future. She quickly decides this is a bad conversation, but Stefan straightforwardly says he will discuss the future with here whenever she is ready. He knows what he’s facing, it seems, and is unafraid to deal with it. Stefan is a good character. With him, TVD has avoided most of the worst clichés with the vampire lover—often, he seems like a really nice, normal guy. Then he rips someone’s heart out—but we haven’t gotten that far into the episode yet.  About their future, Stefan reminds Elena that they are creating future memories right now, “You know, this is a future memory. It’s where your boyfriend whispered to you that he loved you.”

After seeing Elijah and Damon sniff around each other, we get the awesome sniffing duo of Uncle John and Ric. Ric is another terrific character, and watching him face off with Uncle John is making him even cooler. John implicitly threatens Ric, asking if Jenna knows about his extracurricular activities. Uncle John seems to think Jenna can’t be kept in the dark forever—news to me. Aside from Matt, Jenna is the most clueless character on the show. Ric mostly looks at Uncle John with cautious bemusement here. “You’re a dick,” Ric says.  Uncle informs him that Ric’s overnight’s with Jenna are inappropriate sine their are children in the house.   (See what I mean?  these two are awesome).  He also wants Ric’s ring.  By episode’s end, Uncle John’s words are troubling Ric.

While making out in a closet (hot), Stefan discovers a secret room in the lakehouse—full of weapons and the rest of the original Johnathan Gilbert’s diaries.

Awesome Vampire Caroline rushes to Bonnie to discuss Jeremy with her, cause despite what she has said, part of “girlie Caroline” remains in the vampire. “He is so crushing on you, “ Awesome Vampire Caroline gushes. She and Bonnie have a rather honest discussion about Bonnie being torn—Jeremy is Elena’s kid brother, and Luka is witch like her. “He understood me…and he was new, different,” Bonnie explains. Awesome Vampire Caroline reminds Bonnie that much has changed since Jeremy was a kid–and maybe it isn’t their place to judge.  Bonnie continues preparing a spell for Luka so she can get the truth out of him. Now, that is a good plan.

Ric and Damon are chatting after the confrontation with Elijah. Ric notes, “that Elijah is one scary dude, but with nice hair.” God, I love Ric. Ric then gets even more awesome by asking Damon to please not kill Andie, a friend of Jenna’s. These two need a buddy comedy spinoff.

Their greatness is interrupted, however, by the arrival of the asshole wolves. Steve stabs Ric (no respect for human life there, it seems) and then doses Damon with a syringe of something. Tyler, by the way, is present for all of this and seems completely unaffected by his history teacher lying dead on the floor. Thanks for caring, Tyler.

Brady takes a moment to be sure Tyler is up for the completely vague plan they have concerning Elena. Not good enough, showrunners—what does Tyler understand about the plan to get Elena? How desperate is he? What is he willing to do? Is kidnapping Elena okay? How about torturing her? Does Tyler have any interest at all in finding out the details of the wolves’ plan? Apparently not. Brady reminds Tyler that these people have lied to him a lot, so I suppose that is supposed to count as justification for Tyler acting badly. But then Brady goes so far as to threaten Tyler if he “wusses out.” Great friends you’ve got there, Tyler. Dumb.

Uncle John acts the shit to Jenna, cause that is what he does best. Learning that teenager Elena is off for a romantic weekend with her boyfriend, Uncle John appropriately identifies Jenna as a poor parental figure: “I always knew you were lax with them, but I didn’t know you were negligent.” Ouch. On his way out the door, Uncle John asks Jenna if Ric confirmed that the body of his wife was found. I love the bad boys of TVD.

The werewolves are at it again at Damon’s house. With Ric lying dead on the floor, they torture Damon by putting a wooden stake collar through his neck and pulling on it repeatedly. Steve mentions, btw, that he learned this nifty trick from some torture porn film. Good line.

Bonnie’s smarter plan is well underway. She asks Luka why they are working for Elijah and learns Luka has a sister that is under Klaus’ control. Apparently, Klaus is trying to end the curse without the doppleganger, and he’s been exploiting witches for centuries to do it. She also learns that Elijah and Dr. Martin have partnered in their mutual desire to kill Klaus. When Bonnie persists in finding out how they plan to kill Klaus, the semi-conscious Luka begs her not to force him to tell her, because Elijah will kill him. Awesome Vampire Caroline tries to give Bonnie an out here, but Bonnie persists. After the sacrifice, Klaus will be weak, and Elijah will be able to kill him, it seems. In other words, Elena has to die for Elijah’s plan to work.

Brady shoots Stefan at the lakehouse and leaves Tyler with a wounded Stefan while Brady goes off to find Elena. Second time Elena has been stalked in just a few days, in case anyone is keeping track out there. Elena shows gumption and cleverness in avoiding Brady throughout the house, stabbing him with a knife among other gool moves. Stefan begs Tyler to help him save Elena: “they didn’t tell you that part… in order to break the curse, Elena has to die.” Tyler magically discovers he is a human being with a heart, and frees Stefan.  When Elena runs out of the house with Brady in hot pursuit, Stefan arrives in time to rip out Brady’s heart.

Tyler swears to Elena that he didn’t know what they were going to do to her—that is because you never asked, you loser. I should pause for a second because I’m clearly very disappointed by Tyler. I was really beginning to like his character, and I don’t think the show did a good job with him these last few weeks. After the sensitive portrayal of his first transformation, they’ve really dropped the ball with developing his character and justifying his actions. Tyler is a dick and has always been a dick. Watching him try to be more was interesting. Letting him slip into being a sort of mindless followere here was unfair to Tyler and to the audience.

Elijah arrives at Damon’s house, showes the wolves the moonstone, and then pulls out at least three hearts from random wolves as they try to get the moonstone. Jules escapes, but Elijah snaps Steve’s neck with a flick of his wrist. “You realize this is the third time I’ve saved your life?” he reminds Damon.

All the gang catches up on the phone, sharing the truth of Elijah’s plan and determining to keep Elena outside of town for a bit longer. Stefan has strong words for Elena. “We learned that Elijah is planning for you to die during the sacrifice ritual.”  She is not surprised: “I know the deal I made, Stefan.  Elijah is very careful with his words.  He promised to protect my friends.  He never said a word about me.”  Stefan looks at her with concern, “you mean, you knew you weren’t going to survive this?”  She does, “If it comes down to the people I love getting killed or me, I know what my choice is going to be.”  Stefan is upset.  “Elena, how could you stand our there earlier with me talking about making plans for our future when you don’t even expect to have one?”  “I’m sorry, Stefan” she replies, “I’m just trying to keep the people that I love safe.  I’m trying to keep you safe.”  He stops her, “no, what you are doing is being a martyr.”  Now Elena is upset, “how is that any different from when you say that you would die to keep me safe?”  “Because I’ve already lived.  162 years I have lived, and you’ve barely begun.  And now you want to let yourself get killed?  That’s not heroic.  That’s tragic.”  Good point, Stefan.

Bonnie tries to explain her confusion to Jeremy: “overnight you turned into this hot guy who is really sweet.” Jeremy hears “hot” and ends the conversation with an “enough already,” pulling Bonnie to him for a truly sexy kiss. Hooray! Jeremy has made Bonnie a more tolerable character—didn’t know that her redemption was possible.

Tyler leaves a note for his mother and takes the time to visit Matt. He admits that as Awesome Vampire Caroline was helping him through a rough time, he fell for her. But Tyler acknowledges that she loves Matt, and asks Matt to take care of her, because Caroline deserves the better man.  Should have been a better scene, but it echoes a similar moment with Damon in weeks past, so it lacked the power and surprise of the Damon moment. It also means Awesome Vampire Caroline is left with wimpy, clueless Matt instead of Tyler, with whom she shares oodles more chemistry. Bummer. Tyler stands outside Awesome Vampire Caroline’s door to say goodbye in the shadows. He then gets into a car with Jules and they leave town—to do what, no one knows, cause the goals of the wolves have never been elaborated. Ever. This better not be the last time I see Tyler or I’m gonna be pissed.