Monsters of Television

“Sure, let’s talk. Let’s all talk.”

I enjoyed “Net Worth” a great deal, but perhaps that was because everything didn’t quite work perhaps as well as it should have. Some things worked smashingly well (Owen and Alicia, but that’s a given at this point), some things were enjoyable but too on the nose (the legal aspect of the case that was a little too much like The Social Network but had moments of real delight), and then there’s Kalinda and Blake. And you can imagine how I felt about that.

But I think that the shagginess of some parts of the episode it what makes me like “Net Worth” more than I perhaps should. It’s nice seeing the The Good Wife not be as tight and controlled as it normally is, to be a bit different in spots and give us something other than its weekly greatness.

But first: green screens. No. Don’t ever do that again. I mean, it’s not a way to start off the show, let alone have it appear later. The L.A. green screen for Rita Wilson’s bit was painful, I’m talking like Chuck-levels of painfulness here. And while the show takes another stab at it to depict a snowy Pacific Northwest, at least it wasn’t as in your face bad as the L.A. shot was (also: Alicia’s pretty awesome hat coupled with Owen’s equally awesome hat kind of made up for it). So, at the very least, The Good Wife is bad at green screen, and it’s good to know that they’re bad at something.

So in descending order of enjoyability: Alicia and Owen. I wish that this plot had been a glorious bottle episode. Owen has been such a treat, both from a performance standpoint but also from a character standpoint. With a stoic, masked character like Alicia, there’s the easy temptation to assume that she’s dull or icy and that the performance itself is monotone and boring. And while nothing could be further from the truth, especially after you watch a few episodes, Owen allows Alicia to be herself, and that’s very exciting.

So we get to see, as we have in the past, Alicia joking around (“Why is it that all your music is gospel?”) or their little game about the Wi-Fi connections (capped off by Owen getting high in the hotel room: “I’m going to tell mom and dad!”). It’s a refreshing and wonderful change of pace for Alicia, a break from the armor that she has to so readily wear to survive everything that’s going on around her.

But Owen, also unlike everyone in Alicia’s life (except Kalinda sometimes) is willing to pry Alicia out of her armor, not for their sake, but for Alicia’s sake. So when Owen suggests slipping on a sexy dress and talking to Will about the voice mail, he’s doing it because he cares for Alicia and want to see her happy (and he doesn’t particularly seem to like Peter). In a narrative world where everyone has multiple motivations driving them, Owen is, well, the romantic in a cynical world. And that’s something to cling to, something to keep Alicia sane.

The legal wrangling of the episode was a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, it was very obvious riff on The Social Network with limited insight into that story as a larger piece of societal lore. I gained nothing from the story, and the legal maneuverings were largely opaque to me, making some of this plot difficult to sit through (though whenever F. Murray Abraham was on screen, I was a happy boy). Other little bits of business, like Rita Wilson’s character storming into the office, seemed unnecessary and inconsequential to the overarching story.

On the other hand, it was a fantastic meta-romp that relished the opportunity to have fun at its own expense. I mean, having Josh Charles, in character, question an extremely bombastic caricature of Aaron Sorkin (his old boss on Sports Night) was just a treat (as was the guy playing the riff on Sorkin) that just kept on giving. But while this sly bit of meta humor helped carry that plot, not enough to keep it from feeling  a little phoned in.

Rounding out both of these plots is Alicia actually slipping on a hot little dress and going to talk to Will about the voice mail from the premiere. While the promo certainly played this up, I was kind of relieved to find it at the end of the episode. I felt devastated as Alicia, finally doing something for herself like this, is rejected for, let’s be honest, hers and Will’s sake. Despite how much Alicia may love Will, Alicia still, deep down, needs that plan. And Will, I think, is very aware of this, hence his playing off of the message. Watching Alicia walk quickly out of Will’s office and through LG&B’s lobby in her dress was pretty heartbreaking, as was Will’s face he watched.

But then there’s Kalinda and Blake. Look. It’s been 14 episodes of this stupid and agonizingly poorly written and plotted nonsense. And when I say “poorly written” I really do mean poorly written here. How stupid is Blake that he gives Kalinda a bat? Especially after letting her know that Bishop and Bond are planning something together to deal with drug and crime in Chicago? What did you think was going to happen?! So, yes, I cheered when Blake took one to the ribs, but it only served as a reminder that this plot simply isn’t working.

There are any number of other ways to reveal the bit about Bishop and Bond and the bit about Kalinda’s husband, but this strip information game was not the way to do it. There’s no sexiness in it since there’s no chemistry between either of the characters. The actors can only do so much, but when the writing isn’t making a legitimate case for this supposed sexual attraction, it comes off as forced and, well, kind of icky (pardon the less-than-smart-sound descriptive there, but “icky” about sums it up).

Next week seems to be about politics and hats. I’m all for that.

FINAL THOUGHTS

• “It’s Alicia time!”
• “The sultry-eyed Will.”
• “My goodness. That’s a lot of artistic expression to divvy up.”
• “I want to be your friend!”
• Apologies for missing last week, but it got crazy hectic around me after Tuesday, and I simply wasn’t able to write up a coherent thought about it by Sunday. You can listen to Karen and I (but mostly Karen) discuss it a bit on the podcast though.
• And re: podcast – Karen and I actually mention that we don’t get to see Alicia looking at herself. Something for her and I to maybe discuss this weekend!