Monsters of Television

She's undead, naked with Damon, and still a crappy character. No fixin' that.

I feel like the writers for The Vampire Diaries have been reading my mind—so many small complaints that I have had in the past weeks were resolved or at least addressed in this week’s episode. Thanks, TVD!

This was another episode where we have more talking than action, but at least we got some good dish and a number of answers. Even better, Elena took matters into her own hands, so this week it was Stefan having to react instead of lead. I appreciate a feisty Elena, and Katherine seems to bring out the best in her. Let’s have these two gals go on a road trip next!

Still not in love with Rose, somewhat ambivalent about the direction Damon seems to be heading, and absolutely uninterested in Elijah (except for that cool trick with the coins!). But putting the spotlight on Elena was fitting, and the series has now erected some impressive obstacles for our newly empowered heroine to overcome. Obstacles = drama, and that’s a good thing.

From the moment I saw that this episode was entitled “Katerina,” I was nervous. I mean, Damon put Katherine down, and it was cool. Did I really want them to hit that Katherine action again so soon?

Turns out, the show did it smartly. They let Elena confront Katherine—my first request answered—let these two women talk, engage, fight, whatever. Just let Elena stand up for herself against her foe. Katherine was super helpful, filling Elena in on a number of details that I’ll outline below, but more importantly, there is a reason Katherine was so helpful. What a consistent character—consistent in her desire for self-preservation—and the reason why she is deadly (and a great villain).

Awesome Vampire Caroline helps Elena get to Katherine by removing the stone from the tomb and later by distracting Stefan from going off in search of Elena. Even more impressive? When Elena asks her, as a friend, to keep her visit to Katherine secret from Stefan, Awesome Vampire Caroline does it. She never admits to Stefan where is Elena, even after he becomes suspicious. That is why she is awesome.

Elena shows herself to be pretty smart during her conversation with Katherine. Something Katherine acknowledges with admiration at one point: “you have the Petrova fire.” Elena comes prepared for this visit.  She bribes Katherine with small glasses of blood, glasses that Elena pushes towards Katherine with a stick to prevent Katherine from grabbing her. Overly cautious or smartly defensive? I go with the latter.  Elena has also brought with her the Petrova book that I’ve been wanting her to read for weeks—second request answered.

So, let’s just jump in—what did we learn from Katherine this week?

• Katherine is not the last in the Petrova line

In 1490, Katherine, before becoming a vampire, had an illegitimate child. Her parents gave the baby away and forced Katherine to leave Bulgaria.  Elena and Katherine are therefore likely distantly related.  Side benefit—Dobrev got to speak her native language—cool.

• Katherine, still human, met Klaus in England

“I was taken with him at first, ‘till I found out what he was and what he wanted from me. And then I ran like hell.”  My respect for Katherine grows as they flashbacks of her trying to run from Klaus in that ridiculous period dress girls wore back then—impressive.  She has also stolen the moonstone, showing herself to be resourceful

• Trevor, a henchman of Klaus’, is as dumb as every other boy around Katherine

Trevor helps Katherine escape from Klaus, sending her to Rose for assistance.  So Trevor is yet another young lad who fell pretty to the allure of Katherine. (These guys need a support group.)  Rose is smarter than Trevor (they’re lucky she’s not a lesbian—I’m guessing lesbians would be as helpless before Katherine’s beauty as all the boys); she plans to turn Katherine over to Klaus.

• Katherine is super tough

Katherine shows her grit first by stabbing herself—better to be dead than fall victim to Klaus.  Rose makes the mistake of giving Katherine her blood so she can be returned to Klaus.  Katherine then shows her grit again by hanging herself—instant vampire. Wow! I like this girl.

• The ritual that ends the curse entails draining the blood of the human doppleganger.

“I underestimated his beard for vengeance,” Katherine explains as the reason she has been running from Klaus for 500 years even though she is no longer what he needs to end the curse

• Katherine is super honest, telling Elena that the full story about the curse is “really tedious”—preach!

The curse was bound by the sacrifice of Petrova blood.  The doppleganger was created as a way to undue the spell (you’d think the witch who made the curse would have preferred to keep this spell without a back door exit, but so be it).  So, drain the Petrova doppleganger, curse over, right?  Not quite…

• Katherine is ruthless

When pathetic Trevor says he would have helped Katherine, she says, “you would have helped me run, and that was never going to be enough.”  Rose tries to kill the new vampire Katherine and accidentally kills an old lady, whom newly risen Katherine immediately drains. “Better she die than I.”

Elena gets all haughty and upbraids Katherine for ruining the lives of Trevor and Rose (um, note to Elena, neither of them qualifies as “alive.”)  “I was looking out for myself, Elena. If you’re smart, you’ll do the same.”

• To completely undue the curse, Klaus needs the doppleganger, the moonstone, a witch, a vampire, and a werewolf (this is a really high maintenance spell)

Elena realizes Katherine had been collecting these items for Klaus when she got stopped by the Salvatore brothers. “Better you die, than I” Katherine tells Elena (I love this girl, seriously).  In case you are counting, this means Elena, Bonnie, Awesome Vampire Caroline, and Tyler are all in danger from Klaus.  The curse has a funny clause attached—if a vampire ends the curse, the werewolves get stuck with theirs forever. And vice versa. The race is on!

• Klaus is ruthless

He killed Katherine’s entire family, just out of spite

• Elena is screwed and Katherine is smart

Katherine tells Stefan that even he must realize Elena is doomed.  Indeed.  She also tells Stefan that she’s happy to remain in her tomb, a place where no vampire (including Klaus) will enter for fear of becoming trapped: “I’ll be the safest psychotic bitch in town” (love her more).

That’s a lot of answers to give to fans in the middle of the season. Yet notice how all the answers just make the situation more complicated and dire? That’s called smart plotting. Even better? Elena can no longer pretend she can do nothing and win. How she plans to respond to this particular challenge is not yet clear, but I’m hopeful that the Petrova fire will keep her interesting.

Other characters did appear this week, so I’ll cover them before I get to the kicker at the end of the episode.

Awesome Vampire Caroline distracts Stefan by telling him the truth—that Tyler knows she is a vampire. Stefan is appropriately concerned, knowing Damon would kill her for giving up this secret. Stefan has grown to care about Awesome Vampire Caroline (who could one not?)—and tells her she reminds him of his friend, Lexi. (Gosh, wish she would just return to town already.) Awesome Vampire Caroline blurts out, “you have a friend?!” and the truth of the statement is so right on that I just want this entire show to be about AVC all the time.

A neat moment occurs when Stefan informs Awesome Vampire Caroline that he knows she’s playing innocent to distract him. A pause. “Elena’s with Damon, isn’t she?” Stefan’s continued fear of a possible attraction between Elena and Damon gives him a nice vulnerability here. Lucky for Stefan, Awesome Vampire Caroline doesn’t leave him hanging, bursting out with an “Ew, no!”

Damon hangs with Rose all episode (which bugs me to no end). She promises that Klaus is like the Easter Bunny compared to Elijah, and I’m going to hold her to that. Elijah isn’t scary at all, so far. And Rose isn’t at all tough. Damon finds her crying and makes some sort of crack. She asks, “have you always been this sensitive?” and I have to wonder—are vampires always this sensitive? Who wants to hang around a crying, sad vampire? Not me. The two of them debate whether Damon can really turn on his “vampire switch” that takes the emotion out of things for him, and I expected Dr. Phil to turn up. If this is what Rose is going to add to the show—introspection, talking about feelings, and more mopey Damon—then I hope she dies quickly. They both preen a bit, exchanging threats of “don’t get on my bad side,” but there is zero chemistry and therefore zero interest (on my end, at least).

They set off for Richmond to talk to Slater, the guy who got Rose in touch with Elijah. Slater is actually kind of funny. He has 18 degrees, including three Master’s and four Ph.D.s. Damon asks him what is the point of that, and he replies, “what should I be doing with my eternity?” Now, that is what I’m talking about—eternity must get kind of boring, right? Sometimes it must suck to be undead, right? Otherwise it wouldn’t count as a curse. We need more of this “the downsides to being a vampire” stuff.

As they chat about the curse, Elijah appears outside the café where all three vampires are sitting—a café with special glass that protects the ringless vampires. Slater becomes increasingly interested in Mystic Falls when he hears there is a werewolf there. “God, I’ve got to visit this place—it sounds awesome,” he exclaims. Just as the conversation gets good, with Slater explaining that it may be possible to stop the curse from being broken by rendering the moonstone useless, Elijah throws a handful of coins at the café and breaks all the windows, forcing sunlight upon the burning flesh of both Slater and Rose. Damon helps Rose escape (no clue why), but Slater doesn’t fare so well. He ends up with Elijah, who demonstrates his ability to compel a vampire by forcing Slater to stab himself with a wooden stick. Bummer—I kinda liked Slater.

Meanwhile, Bonnie and Jeremy attempt a no stakes “hang out” (no mention of the word “date” arises but the intentions of both seem clear). She arrives at the grill to find new student, Luca, there with his dad. Bonnie is clearly intrigued by the kid, and I was like, “Touch him! Touch him! He must be evil!” Eventually she did touch him, after Luca’s dad asks Bonnie if she has family from Salem. He he.

Later, Luca does something unheard of—he appears to offer Bonnie some honesty. He explains that his dad “picked up on you. He was just fishing around.” They are warlocks, it seems, and Luca and his dad just want to fit in. He seems harmless, but Jeremy picks up on Luca’s chemistry with Bonnie, looks sad, and leave the grill. Too bad, I wanted to see these two continue their tentative flirtation dance.

As always, we get a few final reveals at the end of the episode.

Damon tries to give up caring about Elena, since “caring gets your dead” (no, sweetie, stupidity gets you dead). Damon hooks up with Rose and I yawned. Damon had his shirt off and I yawned! Rose is a “Damon hotness” killer! Make her stop!

After Elijah makes Slater dispatch himself, we see Luca’s dad walk up behind Elijah. The two seem to be in cahoots.  (Man, everyone has their own witch in this town.)

Stefan walks a distressed Elena home, promising that he’ll keep her safe. “That’s the problem,” she says, “you won’t but you’ll die trying. How is that any better?” Then she gets real deep…in a good way. “I can’t blame anyone else any more. Because its not because you came to town. Or because you and I fell in love. That’s not why everyone I love is in danger—it’s because of me!”

Sucks to be the Petrova doppleganger. But doesn’t suck at all for the future prospects of this season.