Monsters of Television

Your weekly dose of sexy. Careful, he'll glamor you.

Can’t say it was world’s most eventful episode, but it had many pleasures to offer. Here are some great lines to tempt you:

“What is that smell?”
“I can’t explain it. It’s creepy.  That’s all I’ve got.”
“Your silence is deafening, Stefan.”
“Whatever happens, it’s on you”

Oh, and Damon threatened to shove Jeremy’s ring up his you know what.  Picking on Jeremy is so much fun.

The spoilers, btw, begin….right now!

So we already knew that Caroline the human was super annoying.  She was whiny and needy and kind of clueless.  But Caroline the vampire?  Rules me.  Clearly all the annoying characters on TVD (just hate calling it VD) need to become undead.  Yep, that includes you, Jeremy.  And Matt.  Heck, let’s let Elena become a vampire so the entire tension of this series can drop away and have no particularly reason to go on….no, wait….

Okay, so that is a bad plan.  And everyone but Elena seemed to understand that Caroline being undead means she probably won’t last long.  As Damon said, her mom is a vampire hunter.  And Stefan seems to think Katherine has more up her sleeve than annoying them with Caroline for all eternity.  Maybe she was feeling generous and wanted to give Damon a girlfriend?

Apparently, Matt is pretty much the last person (other than Elena’s aunt–and Tyler) to know that vampires exist, that they run all over his town, and that now his girlfriend is one of them.  Just as he finally realized the truth, “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you,” Matt tells Caroline after she has avoided him the entire episode.  Ah, Matt.  Too late.  Take that as a lesson, boys. Tell your women you love them–or they might be dead before you do.

Among Caroline’s cool moments?  Confronting Damon about all the shit he put her through under the influence of his magical, dreamy eyes.  Doing some glamoring magic of her own on a poor, unhelpful nurse, aka Caroline’s dinner.  And draining a poor sap, some hot African American dude who existed in this episode exclusively to flirt with Bonnie and to be a pawn of various vampires.  Damon used him to see what would happen when Tyler (or his uncle, Damon doesn’t discriminate) becomes very, very angry (hint: his eyes turn yellow–whoopee).  But back to flirting with Bonnie–chick needs to get her some.  Her pent up sexual energy unleashed itself again when she tried to set Damon on fire.  Elena asked her nicely to stop, so all is well.  But Bonnie better sleep with someone or beat the crap out of Damon, cause she’s got some extra energy to expend.

Damon’s new obsession is figuring out what the Lockwoods are.  He read Caroline’s copy of “Twilight,” so I’m not sure why he is so confused, but maybe Damon isn’t terribly bright.  Also not sure why Mason is being so mysterious with Tyler.  You’d think he’d want to make the kid feel better by telling him the truth.  Or maybe Mason isn’t the nice uncle we think he is……muuuuuwahahaha.

So Damon tries to kill Caroline, cause he’s not dumb (sorry to suggest it, Damon), but Elena (oh that’s right, she’s the dumb one) asks him nicely to stop (or rather, steps in front of his raised stake).  He tells her the fallout will be her fault.  And he’s right.   But I’m still feeling pretty badly for clueless Matt right now.

It all ends with a good line from Stefan and a pretty bad one from Elena.  Stefan flies her to the top of a ferris wheel so they can kiss like “a normal couple.”  He tells her, “I came back to this town to start a life with you.  We can’t forget to live it.”  Good line, man.  Then Elena ruins it all by forecasting to the audience–be prepared, there is much to come… “It’s not going to get any easier, is it?” she asks.  There are 20 episodes left, Elena!  Sure hope it doesn’t get easier.  What else would I do with my Thursday night?