Monsters of Television

“I’m a vampire, not a fucking idiot.”

HBO didn’t air a new episode of True Blood last Sunday. I guess they don’t think vampires are American enough. They divvy up land how they see fit, feel vastly superior to all others around them and suck the blood of others for sustenance. Sounds pretty American to me.

After a week off, things seem to be vamping amping up quite quickly. A third of the season is over and done with and with as many character and story convergences “9 Crimes” gave us, that fan is gonna be covered in shit for quite some time. Is that to say everything going on is interesting? Not necessarily right now. But there is oh so much potential. Except for Tara. My god, just kill her already.

In a scene we’ve all been waiting for since watching (and rewatching and rewatching) the season three promo, Bill breaks up with Sookie. He tells her he doesn’t want to be found and tells Sookie (and reminds the audience) of the crazy vampire sex he and Lorena had. Of course this is all so Sookie won’t come looking for him and he can keep her safe while he deals with Lorena and Russell. But he should know better than that as this only makes Sookie want to find him more.

But more interestingly, this sets up for the possibility of a Sookie/Alcide pairing. I was wondering how they were going to make this plausible other than the fact that they were simply working together, although that’s a good start. As Alcide consoles a heartbroken Sookie, she makes note of how warm he is. Eclipse tent scene anyone? (Yeah I saw Eclipse. What of it?) Alcide’s sister, who has come to give Sookie a werewolf wench makeover, comments on how sweet she is and how good she is for her brother, planting some serious seeds in Sookie’s telepathic mind. As Alcide and Sookie grow closer, and it becomes more and more obvious that Debbie will not be taking Alcide back what with undergoing initiation into Cooter’s wolfpack and all, this couple is becoming more and more likely.

And I dig it. Alcide has grown on me but I’d like to see more before I make any real decision. I mean, he’s not as awesome as Eric but he’s better than Bill. Speaking of Eric, his connections were extremely fun to watch this episode. From the sex dream he has about Sookie (during a new dancer’s audition) to saving Lafayette from a bunch redneck drug dealers, it really does seem there’s a fire burning in the heart of our ice cold Viking.

All is not well for Eric though. The Magister has caught on to the V sales taking place in Eric’s territory. Under duress of torture, Pam blurts out that it is Bill who is behind the V sales. The Magister gives Eric two days to find the evidence he needs to prove this or Pam gets the stake. This is the linchpin of the season. The V sale, the connection to Queen Sophie-Anne, Eric, Bill, Pam, Lafayette; this now involves so many characters (with the potential for more) and crosses so many story lines. Season 3 has taken us deeper into the inner workings of vampire hierarchy and this tangled mess of V is only plunging us deeper. The Magister is back (hopefully for a while because seeing Željko Ivanek is always a treat) and we will no doubt be seeing more of Sophie-Anne what with her connection to both the V and Russell’s schemes.

Now can we touch on Franklin for a moment? He’s another new character who has grown on me as of this episode. Vamp is insane. After biting Tara and tying her to a toilet where he leaves her for hours, he returns with a bouquet of flowers and a very sincere “Miss me?”. Te perfect combo of creepy and crazy. He then proceeds to duct tape the flowers to her hands before they get in the car and go for a drive.

Tara asks what Franklin wants with Sookie and Bill and he says his employer is interested in them, Bill mostly. His job fulfills his financial needs but not his emotional and that’s why he needs Tara. Hmm, so he does have some sick and twisted feelings for her after all. Or it’s just more vampire trickery. Who knows. But what we do now know: Franklin’s employer is Russell. Another connection! Franklin and Tara show up at Russell’s estate and have to wait for him to return.

What’s Russell up to? Leading Debbie’s initiation. He pours his own blood into shot glasses for the wolves to drink, symbolizing the bond they have shared for ages. This is news to Sookie and Alcide. Well now they have a little more info on this pack. Russell takes his leave and the werewolves all start freaking out and shifting to wolf form uncontrollably. As Alcide begins to transform as well he yells (more like barks) for Sookie to get out of there. And there we have our cliffhanger ending.

So a lot of the players are coming together and a lot of the important events seem to be taking shape. Of course not everyone looks like they’re gonna get to participate. Like Sam. His family story is getting really tired. They’re hard up for money and by the end of the episode Sam agrees to give Tommy a job and the family a place to stay if they quit stealing and drinking. It may be boring now but hopefully something will happen soon. Arlene reminded Sam that Merlotte’s is not a charity and she doesn’t want to see him get taken advantage of. If that’s not foreshadowing that this family biz won’t end well then I don’t know what is.

Jessica may not be well connected to any interesting major plots but she’s got a few things going on for her. For starters Sam hired her as a hostess at the bar. She can’t serve because you have to 18 in Louisiana, unfair since poor Jess will never be 18. While working she runs into Chip, an old Bible study classmate. He praises Jesus that she’s alive and says her parents will be thrilled. Uh oh. But wait, Jessica’s a vampire! So she gets her glamor practice on to convince Chip that he did not see her at all that night. And it works! Unfortunately Hoyt sees her sitting waaaay to close to Chip and he thinks it’s a date, widening the rift between him and Jessica.

Andy got promoted to Sheriff. Jason’s trying to blackmail him for a spot on the force. Blah blah blah. This does not interest me. Although I did like the scene where Jason tells off the high school quarterback about to break his old record.

Final Thoughts:

• Lorena’s insane and still very much in love with Bill. And now she has him all to herself. He says there is nothing between them, he will never love her again, and punches her out of his room. He has no problem beating her and she keeps coming back for it. Domestic abuse commentary?
• Writing dialogue for Lafayette must be the most fun part about writing for this show. The phone message he leaves for Tara is so amazing and Nelsan Ellis’ way of pulling it off could never be duplicated.
• “Shut the fuckin’ door!” says Alcide at one point. Just one step up from Castle‘s “Shut the front door!”
• Eric and Lafayette have some of the best scenes together of any character duo. And Eric saying “Let’s go, RuPaul.” just makes them even better.