Monsters of Television

“I’m in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam.”

The wait is finally over! After 9 months True Blood is back and wasting no time jumping right in. The first few minutes were dedicated to “remember this character and what they were doing?” which is always an appreciated season premiere tactic. But it wasn’t just story we were being reminded of, also tone and style. “Remember how much True Blood loves violence and tits?” As if we could forget. From a group of werewolves chowing down on Vampire Bill to Eric’s 6 hour sexcapade with new Fangtasia dancer Yvetta (6 hours!?) it didn’t take long for us all to say “Why yes, I remember you, True Blood. Welcome back.”

“Pack of Wolves” was an episode very much about secrets. Our characters have a lot to cover up as well as a lot to try and disinter. It’s not just the vampires who lie underground on this show. It’s an interesting move to separate, both physically and figuratively, the main cast after a season finale brought so many of them together to achieve their goals (Sam and Bill, Jason and Andy, etc.). Jason is the one out of them all I feel is going to crack first. Andy keeps stressing how important it is that they keep the secret of Eggs’ death between them and the threats of jail time if exposed have done nothing to calm Jason’s nerves. Andy tells Jason he needs to act normal, go out and get some tail to give the appearance that all is normal. Their “conscience off, dick on” conversation was priceless. But turning off his conscience isn’t as easy as he thought. Even with 2 out-of-towner hotties naked at his place Jason is plagued by guilt. His conscience is really making things hard (and some other things not so much).

Perhaps the greatest thing the premiere gave us was more Pam. Kristen Bauer was bumped up to a series regular this year and we’re already introduced to more snarky and playful Pam. And I love it. What all her larger role will entail is yet to be explicitly revealed so who knows if it will be anything more than the right hand vamp to Eric and the liaison for Lafayette’s drug trafficking that she’s been doing or if there is more in store her. Either way, her increase in screen time is already noticed and valued. We were also treated to the return of the Magister (Zeljko Ivanek) and the Queen (Evan Rachel Wood). With the events concerning them (Magister is looking into the increase in V sales which the Queen and Eric are secretly behind) going down this season I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of them as well. Especially Ivanek because he just loves popping up in every show ever. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out the Queen and Eric are lying through their fangs.

This premiere offered great glimpses of where we can expect to head in the coming season. Sam seems to have found where his family currently resides but this is television, it can’t be that easy. Tara is looking for answers and consolation after Eggs’ murder. Sookie and Jessica are pulling a Cagney and Lacey in their search for Bill, who was kidnapped by werewolves. From the social commentary standpoint I can see this season talking a lot about loyalty, “the greater good”, and as mentioned before: secrets and what they can do to a relationship, a family, etc. Oh True Blood, such delicious treats you have prepared for us this season. I am hungry like the werewolf for more.

Final Thoughts:

• Sam’s homoerotic dream about he and Bill getting squeaky clean in the shower together has to be one of the greatest bits of fan service in recent TV history. A massive wave of swooning surely shocked the nation.
• Jessica’s superfluous cussing and frantic attempts to hide the dead trucker’s body were simultaneously cringe-worthy and adorable. If she succeeded in turning him I would have died.