Monsters of Television

“I mean wasn’t that the point of us bein’ rappers? So we didn’t have to get a job!”

Never before have I laughed so hard while simultaneously being terrified for my future. The many facets of the entertainment industry are constantly changing. The focus seems to change between a focus on the artistic and a focus on business. The Boondocks certainly seems to think business rules in the music industry right now. And they beat up poor Otis “Thugnificent” Jackson to prove that very point.

The rap reign of Thugnificent is over. His peak 4 years ago (40 years in rapper time) has flat-lined. So how to stay relevant? First: use auto-tuner on every song on your new album. “It let’s you sing even if you can’t sing!” Jay-Z would be less than thrilled. Riley certainly was. He’d rather hear the new number one track by young up-and-comer Sgt. Gudda, an obvious knock to Soulja Boy, the poster child for commercially constructed personalities.So the old originality game isn’t working. Auto-tuner didn’t work. Only thing left is to adapt someone else’s style. But his dance is nowhere near as trend setting as that of his younger rival.

What does this say about art? Factory farmed artists are polluting the radio. Adaptation is running rampant in Hollywood.  What are we artists supposed to do? Well hopefully you have a degree in something cause that’s the only other place to turn. Thugnificent takes his Communications degree and goes on the job hunt. Only temporarily though, as he informs the HR rep, cause he’ll be back to on top o the rap game soon enough. Note to those seeking a job: that is not the way to conduct a successful job interview. When that doesn’t work he goes the only other route available: he starts dealing crack.

Unfortunately for Thugnificent (which just pleasantly rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) he sucks at that too. Finally landing a job at UPS he plans to tape all of his exploits and make a reality show. “The music industry is dead. I’m tryin’ to get that Flava Flav money.”

So how is one supposed to read all of this? Artists can’t survive. There will always be someone with a stupid dance or a movie based off an 80s board game to come along and steal any potential move you might make. So you have to give up your artistic integrity (Thugnificent was forced to cut his large afro puffs for his corporate UPS gig) and get a job for the man. Hope you have a degree in something other than art.

Wait a second… Art is dead. Cutting one’s hair. Working for the man. Artistic degree. Uh-oh. It was nice knowing you all.