Monsters of Television

“A dirty dirty sex bed.”

Oh, hey, it’s that show I haven’t written about in two episodes. Is it still on? I could’ve sworn that shows stopped airing when I stopped writing about them (as a result, I have no idea how Nick has managed to just magically create episodes of White Collar or Parenthood to review).

Tonight’s HIMYM is odd in a couple of ways. First is my realization that the show has essentially become Scrubs and second is that I’m not entirely sure that the show earns its ending. It’s certainly sentimental, and it should have some emotional heft to it, but I feel like the show has veered too far away from where it once was to really make it work (plus it’s directed at the wrong character).

First the Scrubs comparison. I know it may seem a bit unfair, or even a bit of a stretch to do this, but hear me out. First is the fact that they drive home Don mistaking Ted for being gay by having him order an appletini. Any time a sitcom makes an appletini joke at this point, someone needs to pay Bill Lawrence a dollar (and also kick Bill Lawrence in the shin for making that joke so easy now). But it’s just not the appletini joke, it’s what the appletini joke represents, and that’s the wildly broad manner in which the show has come to portray Ted.

Like J.D., Ted was the central character when the show started, and carried much of the narrative weight for early seasons. As the show progressed, Ted’s motivations and centrality to the narrative slowly slipped away, as had any consistent characterization.  Ted is a parody of his former self, an ambiguously straight, self-styled professional who is unlucky at love because he keeps behaving in incredibly child-like ways.

Tonight’s episode is no different. With Barney, Ted gets soused and decides he wants Robin back after discovering that Robin is considering moving in with Don. This plot makes a glimmer of sense for Barney given the abruptness of the break-up earlier this season, and had the storyline stuck with just Barney, it might’ve worked okay. But that the show drags Ted into this for no reason other than pointless shenanigans shows just how far the writers have to go to make Ted relevant to his own narrative.

This is exactly how J.D. started to feel in the latter seasons of Scrubs. His decisions increasingly there for other, more mature characters (both in terms of development and in terms of personality) to chide him and teach him a lesson. And while this was valuable for about 3 seasons, it started to get old as an episode structure and it started to infantalize J.D. to the point of being a silly man-child with no real purpose in a narrative that, theoretically, was supposed to be about him.

Which leads us to the ending. Robin’s decision to distance herself from the group due to hanging out with Ted and Barney so much makes a degree of sense. Indeed, it’s something that’s always been a central question when it comes to sitcoms wherein exes don’t have to engage one another in a workplace, but just as friends hanging out. HIMYM has addressed this issue in the past, but never with any real stakes because it would mean a member of its ensemble having a limited role in the narrative (and in both instances of a character leaving the narrative, it would have to be Robin since Ted’s the narrator and Barney’s the fan favorite).

So to have Robin not only move out with telling Ted but to have her leave the blue French horn in her vacated room should meaning something. But it doesn’t. Ted is forced into the narrative that motivates Robin’s departure artificially, and as a result the ending feels forced and artificial. It also speaks to how the show handled Barney and Robin that the two characters have no symbol of their relationship with one another to give us an emotionally resonant moment. Indeed, this moment should be located around Barney discovering Robin departing, but since the show has played fast and loose with the aftermath of their relationship, there’s no organic way for them to do this. It’s another victim of the sloppy writing that has characterized the show this season.

As a result, the entire episode’s A-story is a botched affair, a sign of a show that used to know itself and its goals now creates false starts and pointless stories to pad seasons. I think it’s time for Ted to find the Mother so we can all (the audience and Future Ted’s kids) get off the couch.

FINAL THOUGHTS

• The Marshall/Lily B-plot was the kind of funny relationship humor the show can be capable of. Indeed, an entire episode could’ve been constructed around each of the characters dealing with weird sleepers while Marshall and Lily did the twin beds thing. Might’ve been really funny. In fact, I think I’ll pretend like that episode is what aired.
• That Don (still) has the twin beds from his marriage begs the question: was Robin never staying over? C’mon. C’mon.
• The episode wasn’t completely unfunny. Robin kissing the milk carton was kind of cute (if predictable) and Barney talk-crying was good, but Troy on Community is streets ahead of him there.