Monsters of Television

“Judge away. Shame turns me on.”

Mother’s Day is just around the corner (May 9th. Don’t forget!), but Gossip Girl decides to give us an episode focusing on the struggles of paternal relationships. Father figures on the show fall in many different areas of the support spectrum and the effects of their actions have been the catalysts for many of the shows plot points, especially in this current season.

William van der Woodsen has been on the show for two episodes and has already brought a shit storm down on the Upper East Side. It’s now wide out in the open that he’s gunning for his rightful place as Daddy Dearest in the van der Woodsen home and he’ll get it anyway he can. And Serena’s going to help him do it. Of course she is, she’s daddy’s little girl. She finally has the opportunity to forge a real relationship with her father, something she’s wanted forever, and she’s gonna make the best of it. She even admits: “I love Rufus, but you’re my dad. He’s not.” So Serena invites William to family brunch. And for late night hot chocolate. And uninvited Rufus to the gala. Subtly, thy name sure as hell ain’t Serena van der Woodsen.

While Serena may be easy to win over, Eric puts up more of a fight. Father/son relationships can be very difficult (I’m speaking from experience) and Eric isn’t too keen to let the man who walked out on him when he was two years old back into his life so easily. When William tells Eric to invite a girl he likes to a gala in his honor Eric is quick to point out that they know nothing about each other cause surprise dad: Eric’s gay. Needless to say, Eric does not attend the celebration in his father’s honor, but it’s Stepdad Rufus to the rescue. He tells Eric to give William a chance. At least there is some good paternal parenting going on.

Rufus’ heart to heart with Eric on behalf of William is quite the kind gesture considering what Rufus has had to put up with since the not-so-good doctor’s return. His attempts to put jealousy aside for the sake of his wife have been significantly hindered with Serena inviting William to everything. Lily chalks it all u to residual animosity from the past rivalry between the 2 dad’s but a papa bear can tell when his family is being threatened and Rufus is on full alert. Lily is (be it an act or not) convinced William is only there for her as a doctor and does not appreciate Rufus’ distrust, kicking him out so she can think.

As if trying to keep his family together wasn’t enough for Rufus to concern himself with, he has to continually deal with new disappointments from Jenny, who can’t seem to stop herself from screwing things up. Little J gets blasted (kids vernacular these days) on Gossip Girl’s site with a story about her drug dealing past with ex-boyfriend Damian. When an old customer confronts Jenny about the bad batch of drugs she sold her that gave her a yeast infection, Rufus overhears. Just when this father/daughter relationship is slowly beginning to mend, they’re back to square one. Rufus doesn’t even want to speak to her about it. Hey Parenthood‘s Adam Braverman: I bet Haddie’s bra situation from last week isn’t looking so bad anymore, it it?

Yet another character suffering from parental issues is Chuck Bass. Since the news of Lily’s illness broke Chuck has still not visited her. He’s afraid. Bart Bass was not a good father to Chuck, but his death still affected him greatly. His mother, previously thought to be dead, came back and betrayed him earlier this season. So Chuck really can’t face the fact of having to possibly lose another parental figure. But after a surprise visit from Blair (is there hope for reconciliation yet?) he decides to face his fears and visit Lily. Good thing too. Chuck and Jenny are very suspicious of William and just may be the ones to out him and his shady doctoring.

One man lying deceiving his way into recruiting followers. Another man who just wants the best for everyone and to protect those he cares about. How very LOST of you, Gossip Girl. It’s time to choose sides. So: Who’s your Daddy? And what does he do?