Monsters of Television

“And you can’t protect us if we know who you are.”

Wait. Tell me why my 'S' is a rave logo.

Secrets, secrets.

While they may help a superhero protect himself and those he loves, they can do a number on relationships.  And it’s not just the superheroes who are keeping secrets. Everyone on this show is hiding something, wearing a mask of some sort, and it’s only a matter of time before all is revealed.

Now that Lois and Clark are finally together the show is doing everything it can to strain the relationship. The DC power couple have decided to have a romantic night of stargazing in which they plan to take their relationship to the next level. It’s time to use the L-word. No, not this L word. Love. No more secrets between them. This could be a problem for someone like Clark who is, you know, an alien. Might make things awkward between them.

And it does. The elevator ride to the Daily Planet is uncomfortable to say the least. Nothing an impromptu make out session won’t fix. Problem solved right? Not quite. The new Editor-in-Chief, Franklin Stern, is cutting costs, and he’s starting with jobs. He pits Clark and Lois against one another: first to deliver a story on Ray Sacks, the ex-DA who was jailed for throwing Lois off of a roof (all the way back in episode 8), and his release from prison gets to keep his/her job.

Clark suggests they do the story together in an attempt to save both of their jobs. Lois agrees and proposes they split up to maximize their dirt digging potential. So they each head to their respective omnipotent aides: Lois calls the Blur for help (he’s not here right now, leave a million messages like a lovesick school girl) while Clark turns to Chloe. She informs Clark of the security upgrades she’s made to Watchtower in light of Zod’s regained powers. She also clues him into a $1 million reward Sacks put out for a picture of the Blur, as well as where Sacks can be found. And so Clark is off.

But Lois is already there. And Sacks is not pleased to see her again. He has one of his goons pull a gun on her. Luckily Clark shows up and stops said goon. Lois chalks her rescue up to the Blur getting her messages. Clark has no clue what’s she’s talking about. That’s because for the past few episodes Zod has been impersonating the Blur (so many secrets!) and getting Lois to do research and seedy errands for him. As Lois tries to sneak a peek at her savior, Clark super-speeds away. But not before some random guy snaps a photo of him. Lois tries to wrestle the camera away but she has no superpowers so she fails.

Lois takes out her phone to call the Blur and warn him but non-Blur Clark shows up. He begins to question her about the Blur and his identity. Lois accuses him of being jealous. Clark insists he’s trying to protect her. But Lois is in an unpleasant position. She doesn’t know the Blur’s identity and she won’t ask because her knowing puts her in the target of every one of his enemies and he would never put her in danger like that. Clark should understand that, that’s the very reason he keeps his secret from Lois in the first place! Lois says she won’t ask the Blur’s identity, not even for Clark, and she leaves.

We really need to get Lois and Sarah from CHUCK together for a fetish-off

Let us not forget there is still journalism to be done! Sacks is having a “hooray I’m out of jail” party and both Clark and Lois manage to sneak into the shady shindig. Clark just dons a suit and is able to sneak in. Lois, always the more creative of the two, dons a sexy bunny costume and is smuggled into the party in a giant cake. (Smallville really knows its fanbase because this is not the first time the show, let alone this season, has shown Erica Durance in a skimpy, fetish-satisfying getup.)

Lois busts out of her frosted hiding place and ambushes the rogue photographer, smashing the camera and the Blur picture with it. All of this is carefully watched by a mysterious wallflower with a familiar black insignia on his pocket square. Clark is shocked at Lois’ surprise entrance and an equally shocked Lois, still fuming from their fight, punches Clark in the face. Congratulations Lois and Clark, you have your front page story. Although it’s not the one Stern wanted. He reprimands the twosome for letting their “lovers’ spat” get in the way of their jobs. To solve this problem, he removes their jobs.

Unemployment boxes of shame in hand, Clark and Lois continue to argue as they leave the Daily Planet. Lois storms away from him yet again only to be ambushed by Sacks’ goon from before. When Lois wakes up she is strapped to a cot, along with about 5 other people in similar restraints, all situated around some type of holographic projector. Our pocket square man steps forward and introduces himself as Maxwell Lord, the Black King, member of Checkmate. (For those catching up, Checkmate is a government organization run by Amanda Waller, the White Queen, that takes heroes and villains and uses them in missions sanctioned by the government. They’re bad guys.)

Lord plans to use his captives, all people who have seen the Blur before, to construct an image of the Blur by stripping memories of him from their minds. Lord thanks Sacks for his assistance and offers him an agent position within Checkmate. Sacks asks what Lord’s obsession with the Blur is. Lord explains that all metahumans are chaotic and must be controlled or destroyed. He would know, because he has powers of his own, which he demonstrates by sucking memories out of Lois’ mind. Clark speeds in to save the day once again. Lord threatens to destroy Lois’ mind if he is not allowed to finish harvesting it first. But it’s not that easy. Lois’ love for the Blur is making it hard for Lord to get what he needs out of her. Clark takes this opportunity to destroy the hologram projector and as he turns to take down Lord, he’s gone. Clark frees Lois, who refuses to look at him. She says she wants to see his face, to know his name, but she knows the dangers. Clark briefly holds her hand before speeding away.

Lois answers a phonecall from the Blur (it’s actually Clark this time, not Zod). He tells her that they can’t work together anymore, it’s too risky. This will be the last communication between them, anyone else that attempts to call her as the Blur is an impostor. “I will be watching over you. I promise. Goodbye, Lois.”

Clark feels betrayed by Lois’ feelings for the Blur. Part of him wants to tell her that he is the Blur but Chloe reminds him that’s a bad idea. With Zod’s restored powers things are about to get pretty heavy and Lois doesn’t need to be put in danger. That’s not all they’ve learned about Zod. Chloe traced the fake Blur’s number back to R.A.O Industries (a corporation started by Zod and Tess specializing in research to restore the Kandorians powers). Zod had been using Lois. Uh-oh Zod, you’re secret’s out!

Lois returns home to Clark and admits to talking with the Blur, sometimes about stuff she couldn’t even share with him. She says working with him is the most important thing in her life, that she’s doing something right that’s bigger than herself. Her relationship with Clark was selfish, having anything for herself meant it was at someone else’s expense. She says she wishes he knew what it was like to have a calling, to have a duty to the world. (If only she knew.) Clark asks if now that the Blur is gone from her life if they could still be together, if he could be enough. She looks up at him and says nothing.

So sad! Don’t destroy this relationship! See what secrets and lies and charades can do? What deceptions were our other characters up to this episode?

Chloe was seen hacking into Oliver’s laptop at Luthercorp. Why? That’s exactly what Tess wanted to know when she too breaks into Oliver’s office. Again: why? Tess turns on the schmooze and tries to convince Chloe that Zod and the Kandorians are to be viewed as allies. Chloe says they’re more dangerous than ever now that Zod has his powers back. And that she knows Tess only thinks this cause her Zod are doin’ the dirty, a fact she assures her will come back to bite her, and not in the kinky way.

Speaking of Ollie, where was Green Arrow this episode? His presence was certainly missed. Although it was nice to have an Ollie/Chloe break because I am still not okay with that relationship yet. I’m still waiting for Dinah aka Black Canary to come back and be with Ollie. Oh comic book pairings.

And while Zod may have been outed about his own regained powers, he was still hiding the fact that he had restored the powers of the other Kandorians as well. This will surely prove to be problematic in the future. Perhaps the greatest remaining secret is the identity of the Red Queen, a new player in the Checkmate game, who recruits Lord at the end of the episode.

Secrets secrets are no fun…unless you’re watching a TV show.