Monsters of Television

Casey: “You know, you give me five minutes running this popsicle stand and we’d be ready.”
Morgan: “Ready for what?”
Chuck: “The Russians.”

This episode is refreshing, invigorating even. I’m not terribly fond of how this season started (maybe except for completely destroying Chuck and Sarah’s relationship so they can rebuild it) but “Chuck vs First Class” starts the build to what we (and by we, I really mean me — but I think you’ll agree) want to see from this show’s progression. It’s all starting to come together.

“Kneel before Zod!”

For Morgan, however, it’s all starting to come apart. Everyone in Buymoria is unhappy with his rise to power, fallout from disbanding the fight club ring from last week. Lester has resorted to the silent treatment while everyone else attempts to pull pranks on him. Nothing works, however, because Morgan is the one that taught them all how to prank and goof off. The only one able to pull one over on his The Silent One and Morgan knows it’s all downhill from there.

Meanwhile, Casey fills Chuck in on the ramifications of Shaw being in charge of Chuck Squad: he is obligated to do a review of the operation. Chuck, already reeling from Casey telling him Shaw is more special than him, immediately wonders who they could be talking about when discussing the operation based around him. Chuck: somehow whiny and selfless when it comes to family members but completely vane involving anything else.

Shaw is indeed starting his review talking about Chuck with his most ardent supporter, Sarah. She insists that Chuck is a real spy though Shaw, upon reading the reports, feels that Bartowski’s performance is sometimes Bond, sometimes Jerry Lewis (basically the premise of the show). Is Chuck a liability?

Shaw calls Team Chuck together to go over the results of his review and, much to Chuck’s surprise, the dysfunction is not his fault. Shaw blames Sarah and Casey for coddling Chuck and not letting him to develop. Interesting turnaround. This is a necessary paradigm shift in order to progress this season. With Beckman telling Sarah that she is no longer supposed to be protecting Chuck from the world and now with this announcement, we say goodbye to “stay in the car” and usher in an age where Chuck has to get his sea legs on the vast ocean of espionage. With this, not only do we break open Chuck’s desire to become a spy like them, we unearth the vulnerability of Sarah and Casey (yes, Casey, much as he would hate to admit it) that they’re not necessarily ready to let go. Chuck is all for this realization. So Shaw decides its time for his first solo mission. In Paris.

Shaw decides Chuck’s first field test should be to use a pen that squirts tranquilizer to spike Jeff’s coffee (Shaw: “I’ve read everyone’s file. Jeff Barnes will be just fine.”). Clumsy as it may be, Chuck succeeds and Shaw announces that he’s ready. Chuck is hesitant but concedes that, yes, after two years of spy gigs every week and all the intelligence the United States can gather plus his ability to recall skill mastery with just a glance at an object, he might, in fact, be ready for a solo mission. Oh, by the way, Morgan drinks the coffee, falls over.

Party dude.

Sarah plays nervous nelly as she and Casey prepare Chuck for his mission, all but telling him to come right home after school. Chuck plays the part of the kid, packing nunchaku like he’s Kevin from Home Alone. He defends Michaelangelo’s weapon of choice by saying he hates guns, even though we all know if he were to wield a regular gun the Intersect would probably make that gunfight something out of Equilibrium. Maybe that’s a trump card the writers are hanging on to for the end of the season. Shaw comes in and injects a bit of professionalism to the momfest and Chuck is off on a jetplane to Paris, first class (titular alert!).

Flying first class on a transatlantic flight in a cabin bigger than my apartment on his first solo mission. How does it get better? How about your seat mate is Kristin Kruek? Wearing a more business-like haircut but still looking like she should be carded for the free booze, she (going by the name Hannah) and Chuck immediately start building their rapport. She’s sassy. And Chuck likes ’em sassy.

Meanwhile, in Burbank, Morgan, knocked out on tranquilizer, has been stuffed inside a Claw machine that I’ve never seen before at the Buy More. Casey lets him out and, as he spills onto the floor with a bunch of brightly colored trinkets, Morgan realizes he’s hit rock bottom. Casey grunts to scare away onlookers. Morgan wants to be able to do that. “You command respect,” he cries. Casey: “No. I take it.” Astute observation.

Do you smell what he’s cooking? Wait, that’s not right …

Back to the plane: Not only is Kristin Kruek sassy but she’s also worldly, not into herself, brunette (a prerequisite so we don’t get confused with Sarah), AND she fixes computers/IT networks. It’s probably a good thing Chuck is sitting down. Not just because of THAT but also because he’s about to flash on Stone Cold Steve Austin sitting behind him and, as you might guess, Stone Cold is a not a good guy.

So, Chuck starts freaking out because his mission is not really in Paris; it’s on the plane. I brace myself for the whining to begin. But it doesn’t come. The plan is to tranq him with the pen, get Stone Cold’s claims ticket, get down into the hull of the plane, and retrieve a key in his baggage. Chuck suddenly feels confident because Shaw feels confident. And he begins to execute the plan without even whimpering. Hokie smokes! Although his execution is a bit clumsy (he is Chuck), he succeeds and gets the key! I mean, he didn’t account for Stone Cold wearing a watch that shocks him awake if his blood pressure reaches a certain point but who would look for that?

The C-Story starts up when Sarah starts questioning Shaw for his shove-him-out-into-the-wild style and his secret secrets. Shaw turns it around on her and tells her he knows she was in Lisbon for 3 days, off-grid. He accuses her of working for the Ring but this was around the time she and Chuck were supposed to run away together. Sarah doesn’t want to admit that she totally like likes Chuck so she maintains silence. Shaw is not happy with that response.

The B-Story: Morgan wants Casey’s help to recapture his authority (or, I guess, just capture since he didn’t really have it in the first place). Casey isn’t necessarily interested in helping Morgan until Morgan puts it in context. Casey’s military mind immediately reads the situation. These people trying to buck a non-abusive power infrastructure remind him of a certain War on Terror term. “Insurgents,” he growls. Casey’s on board.

Works like a charm. Just like the Morgan.

Meanwhile, up in the air, Chuck retrieves the key from Stone Cold’s “luggage,” a casket with a dead body in it. It’s probably a good thing that they’re going to Paris and not Sydney I suppose. Anyway, when Chuck realizes Stone Cold is awake, he hides in the the casket and tries to call Sarah for help. Shaw insists she not answer her phone. Tough love. Casey does answer his phone, however, and tells him, when Stone Cold finds him (because he hid in the dumbest place he could) to scream like a girl and then flash on the nearest weapon available. Chuck does just that (convenient fencing swords on board) and lucks out that Stone Cold doesn’t pack heat but carries a machete. They duel. Chuck wins and takes his seat.

B-Story: Morgan gets Casey to be his henchman. They put on a big show where Casey pulls intimidation tactics from Crocodile Dundee and scares everyone straight. Everyone except Jeff and Lester. Lester is still on the silent treatment. Casey has a plan though. He steals Lester to his apartment in the middle of the night and uses a technologically-advanced version of hypnosis to bring him in line. Weird. But effective.

Meanwhile, on the plane, Chuck is enjoying the rest of his flight with Hannah until he realizes he’s been drinking a drink that just appeared and now he feels really ill. Gulp. He looks over and sees Stone Cold in his seat, too. Double gulp. Chuck runs to the bathroom to tell Shaw and Sarah what’s up when a flight attendent busts into the lavatory with a tiny gun. Gulp again.

And, suddenly, Sarah doesn’t recognize him.

Down to the hull they go. The flight attendent, backed up by Stone Cold, demands the key. Chuck, sweating from the slow-acting poison, insists he needs to talk to his boss first. Sarah, in the meantime, is freaking out. Shaw is not. He goes to Clark Kent mode, positions a defense satellite that is able to override the controls of any plane it targets with a quick call, and charges Sarah (who he cites as not only a pilot but as Captain Walker) to get ready to take the plane. Then, when the flight attendent makes her demands, Shaw does some quick talking to get her to admit what kind of poison was used. Shaw deduces who it is, calls her by name (Serena), and suddenly the negotiation changes power. Shaw’s kind of the man. Just before Serena is about to pull the trigger, Sarah has control of the plane and starts to do some fancy maneuvering. Checked luggage starts flying all over the place. Chuck slides to his bag and finds, oh yes, the nunchaku. He flashes and does some fancy tricks but Sarah does a better job of knocking the baddies around in the hull. Stone Cold is out stone cold (you knew that one was coming). Antidote taken. Crisis averted.

So let’s wrap up this C-Story: with Shaw proving that he doesn’t leave his agents hanging, he unfolds some story about himself (how he lost a spy once and swore it would never happen again) and insists that Sarah tell him what was up with Lisbon. Sarah says she was there to bury (bury?) Bryce’s ashes. Shaw says he believes her. And that’s that.

Chuck and Hannah land in Paris and Hannah sells him on the whole “let me show you around town” line. Unfortunately, Chuck is being recalled to Burbank and isn’t even allowed to leave the plane. He gives her his card and tells her to look him up if she’s ever in California. And so Chuck leaves Paris, looking at the Eiffel Tower through the window and rubbing the Eiffel Tower figurine his dad gave him (I imagine this will be important later).

Back at Castle, Shaw is able to open up the golden briefcase (“Chuck vs The Three Words”) and use the key on the lockbox inside to reveal a bunch of intelligence on discs and a small envelope. Shaw hands the intel to Sarah and Casey then squirrels away to his office to take a look at the contents. Sarah follows him. Turns out the contents are a wedding ring. The spy Shaw lost: his wife. He adds an addendum to the Cardinal Rule of Spying: not only should you not fall in love in general but you should DEFINITELY never fall in love with a spy.

Short, cute, and sassy brunette magnetically-attracted to Chuck in a small window of opportunity? Check.

Meanwhile, at the Buy More, just when Chuck is feeling down about how everything stays the same (really?), Hannah comes walking into the Buy More. Does Chuck forget all the feelings he has for Sarah to get with the short brunette? Probably. More importantly: can Superman deny his hometown attraction to Lana Lang? Or can we all agree that Smallville is an unfortunate bastardization of the Superman mythos? Whatever the case, we’re glad to have Kristin Kruek on board.

This episode was the shot in the arm this season needed. Here’s to more like it and less of Chuck whining. Please, PLEASE, let Hannah not be another reason for Chuck to thwart missions.