Monsters of Television

So there I am, watching the 16-year old lead of the show blow out candles on her birthday cake, surrounded by well-intentioned well-wishers, but let’s face it, they’re all complete strangers she’s known for two days. With one candle left, one of the strangest of the strangers makes sure to note, “You have to blow them all out or your wish won’t come true.” She looks around at the biological parents flanking her, the biological parents that until the day before yesterday were completely absent from her life, two otherwise childless adults that have taken to her with exceptional speed. She looks them up and down and I see the grin start to curl onto her heretofore snarky lips.

“No,” I say. “No, don’t say it. Don’t say it.” She looks back at the stranger, smiles brightly and says it. “It already has.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is the show compared to Everwood, Juno, and Gilmore Girls for its unconventional familial situations and witty writing. I had a lot of trouble finding it. Not to say there aren’t glimmers of hope but — okay, there was one part that Lux (that’s the girl) stops morning show DJ Kate (the mom that put her up for adoption) when she’s pouring her heart out to her about how she wants to make up for not being there and Lux tells her, “You were there. On the radio.” Even my girlfriend, who once got teary-eyed during a holiday Publix ad, gagged right there.

While some of the banter is witty and some of the character situations have potential for depth and poignant drama, they need to purge the saccharine. Watch when the aforementioned shows hit their stride (see Everwood and Gilmore Girls late-Season 1 and Season 2) and skip the overdone stuff from all of them (see Gilmore Girls, Season 3). I have it on good authority that this series is going to get good. It needs to. Because lines like “he really puts the ‘ew’ in Stewie” and “it’s not a girl scout … it’s a girl” are not going to cut it.